blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Relationships & Dating

Anyone else scared to be in another relationship again? I feel like I’ll end up hurting someone because of my so-ocd. I want to be with a man but my mind keeps telling me “what if you find out you’re gay later in the relationship” or “what if you’re not attracted to him”. All I tell myself is maybe, maybe not and that I can’t get a definitive answer on that. But still, it’s bothering me so much. I feel like I won’t be happy again, and all I have is the memories of my first/last relationship. I’m trying to be hopeful but I’m so broken.

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I’m not in this situation, but it makes sense to me that that is so scary!!! It sounds like you are trying to address your intrusive thoughts appropriately, so that is awesome. Keeo that you! And those thoughts will bother you for some time. Keep up treatment and it’ll get less bothersome with time :) Also, in line with treatment, date despite being scared.

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@dragon_calves Thank you so much for your response, I appreciate it! 😭❤️ and I could date but I’d feel so guilty if I realized I’m gay and hurt my partner. But I know that’s unpredictable, which scares me.

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@blazed That is the risk you have to take because not dating from this fear will lead you where?? An unfulfilling life?

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@dragon_calves Of course, happy to help :)

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@dragon_calves It’s so terrifying 😭 but you’re right, I’m just going to go for it and see where it leads me.

dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@blazed Yay, I’m excited you are committed to living your life :)

ada110

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@blazed I get this fear too and I'm in a relationship which can make it really hard cos I feel terrible sometimes. If you do meet someone you could see a committed relationship with, learn about how trust is actively built and earnt in a relationship. It might help you realise that we all enter relationships with risk and unknowns about the future; you might be particularly scared of this one risk but you would equally be opening yourself up to the risk of them hurting or leaving you for whatever reason. I know it's hard, when I start to accept this unknown, that we could survive if we broke up and I was the cause, then my ROCD goes "if you feel OK with it, then that must mean you don't really love him" 🤦‍♀️ my advice is take it step by step, make sure you're actively working towards a relationship that honours both of your boundaries, values, and communicating in a healthy way (this always takes active work however long you've been together!) and just see how it goes. Don't let your OCD deprive you of happiness. Take it steady x

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@ada110 Thank you for responding and sharing your experience! ❤️ Knowing that I’m not going through this alone really helps and makes me more hopeful for the future. I definitely agree with you that I would have the same risk going to a relationship but OCD loves to take this and blow it out of proportion 🫠 it truly is hard to deal with but your advice is really helpful and I’ll keep it in mind for when I enter a new relationship in the future. I really appreciate it!

ada110

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@blazed Ah you're welcome. You're right it's so scary, I can't lie. Take care and good luck x

O.Sisi.D

Date posted: 24w

My Relationship OCD Made Me Shut Down

I’ve never really dated before out of fear of being rejected or being emotionally abused. So this was the third date with the first guy I’ve dated in years. Last time he said he wanted to kiss me and that’s all that was on my mind. I was afraid of being bad or not liking it so we didn’t kiss and I felt terrible. I was telling myself that I should be thankful that someone is so patient with me and this is why I’m gonna die alone, because I’m so judgmental when it comes to dating….. and I couldn’t stop. I kept ruminating until I later on the couch, closed my eyes, and started giving myself grace. I had shut down for over 30 minutes. And now I’m scared of dating in general.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Struggling😢

Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean I’m gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I won’t be in a relationship. I won’t look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

Advice

As someone who has never been in a relationship it’s hard for me to envision myself in one and know what it will feel like. I feel like being 21 I’ve protected myself a lot due to insecurity. I want a boyfriend and yet I don’t it’s just all really scary for me. I never had the stupid relationship to break the ice and now I’m putting so much pressure and emphasis on things and finding the RIGHT person. Also have hocd definitely doesn’t help. I’m working on myself and doing my best. But my current feelings are: I don’t like the way I look, I can’t imagine myself with someone, and I’m never going to find someone I click with and feel good with. Any advice??????

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Relationships & Dating

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community