- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
You obviously love your wife. I had to do ERP where I drew someone I liked dating someone else. The fears are very common! The past means nothing but ocd will have you believing it means everything. Even if you want to ask a question, just sitting with it and resist asking is something helpful I learned! Even if it ruins your whole day to not give in. You’re building strength.
Dear Anony, stop seeking reassurance is hard. I did it once with my new partner and he, not knowing how OCD works, reassured me. I felt guilty for getting him in to my OCD cycle and told him later, that me asking that question was me seeking reassurance and that the statement before was a confession. I told him, that I should have neither confessed, nor sought for reassurance and I didn't ask him again. Jenna stated in on over her motivational videos, that nocd offers help for loves ones of OCD sufferers, too. Maybe reach out to the nocd care team and ask for help.
I’m in kind of a similar situation in that much of my relationship with my husband has been built around seeking reassurance from him. And starting therapy I learned that was doing me more harm than good and I realized it wasn’t doing any good for our relationship. Cutting that off SUCKED. I got extremely anxious and felt super distant from him because the typical way we’d interact was taken away. But over the course of the past few weeks I’ve realized it’s actually exciting to rebuild what we had before my most recent OCD episode. It feels like getting to know each other again and remember why we love each other. So I guess what I’m saying is…I won’t sugar coat it, it is really tough. But worth it, I promise.
Ok, I told her. And it was even more difficult than I expected. I so badly need reassurance right now but she won't give it to me because she isn't supposed to. This is TORTURE!!
I'm proud of you and your wife! It is hard for you both, but I'm sure you will manage and get better.
Thank you for the support folks, it literally was the encouragement that pushed me to take the step.
Please fight the urge to ask in the first place. Certainty doesn't exist in this world, don't let OCD let you believe it does.
I've suffered with OCD for 50 years with many different themes. SOOCD is my primary theme, and no matter which theme I may be in the middle of it always comes back to SOOCD. I'm back in therapy because after a couple of really good years, I've been in the middle of a flare up. My new therapist with NOCD, recently asked me what my core fear about homosexuallity is. I can't seem to answer that. The only answer that I can come up with, is that it is just egotistic. I'm a heterosexual man who loves my wife and raised three great kids. My question is, have. any ofyou ever been able to answer that question. I would appreciate any thoughts on this question. Thank you and have a great day.
Hey I'm new here... Married for two years, not formally diagnosed with OCD but over 25 years, I've dealt with obsessing over my sexuality, then it has shifted to obsessing over my relationships. In my first marriage, I would notice other attractive men and at one point I started to obsess over one man at my church. Eventually it went away but I divorced for other reasons. Fast forward 15 years. I meet my now-husband, but we break up twice while dating. I was terrified. I have learned I do struggle with fearful/avoidant attachment, but I made it through to get married!! But now, the obsessing over other men is happening again. I work with a lot of men. If I notice one who may be handsome, all of a sudden I feel weird sensations in my body, my mind races, and I fear I want to cheat, or wonder if I'd be happier. It has happened with a guy at my church, several coworkers, my husband's best friend...so I know there's a pattern. But as of late, it has gotten worse with one coworker. I have to see him every day. The thoughts are loud. They feel real, like they're how I feel (I like him, he has nice eyes, I love you). I am a Christian, and when I pray about it, it's almost like something inside me says, 'don't fix this, this isn't OCD, I want this guy' blah blah blah. I feel awful, like a whore, like a cheater, like a double-minded person. And I feel so far away from my husband. I've dealt with feeling the need to confess everything early in our relationship. I've gotten better at not doing that, but I feel like I carry this private pain that no one understands. It really hurts. I guess I just needed to vent and let this out. Sometimes it feels so lonely. I feel crazy. I'm in my 50s, I have a full time job, I take care of my home, yet I feel paralyzed by this sometimes. Thanks for reading.
What is a common family joke. OCD is hereditary on my father's side. However I also live with complex PTSD, and ADHD. I didn't learn till recently how severe my OCD is and the intensity gets amplified if the though goes to either of the other two. It's a loop I've identified recently... just little too late. I've lived with OCD for years not really addressing it till I see that's the very reason I cause damage to loved ones. I'm married, 33, a vet. My marriage is not in the best place now. I have a son who's 4 and already showing signs of OCD. Currently my marriage is at a point where we are working on ourselves. It's discovered that my wife's issues are reflections of my own. I understand fully now that I am the center of the issues but also the solution. I need help for me. What happens with my relationships depends on me showing that I am better and able to process thoughts and emotions better. Journaling helps alot. Trying to do hobbies or this that and 3rd but. I'm willing to try anything. Things are on a line. I'm open to any and all POV and ideas. I'm not out crying. I'm taking a big step for me. Something 25 years over due. Thank you for reading this. As I tell myself now. You'll best this and be better
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