questioning whether OCD is actually OCD

i feel as though due to OCD having its tendencies to feel so real, it can sometimes feel as though it is denial and that creates so much anxiety for me that i begin ruminating and wondering whether i actually have intrusive thoughts or i am just in denial even though i know that i am not. it is a vicious loop such as “i know i am not this thought” “but what if you are” “i’m not so you can leave me alone now” “what if you’re in denial?” “i’m not” followed by a string of strong doubt that keeps me in a loop. reassuring myself only fills me with more doubt. sometimes i may even set actively myself ocd tasks like “get up and do five star jumps now or …” to test my reaction to it and ensure that my thoughts are still intrusive. however i have found that there is such power and validation in not doing compulsions and although it’s hard and i still do them sometimes, this is something that almost relieves anxiety for me now as i know not doing my compulsions is helping me progress but then again floods in the doubt that i ever had ocd/instrusive thoughts in the first place. so overall not doing compulsions and not arguing with my brain and simply saying “okay, you’re just going to argue with me if i don’t agree with you anyway” with a laugh has been so freeing. anyone else? you are loved and i hope that you are okay <3