questioning whether OCD is actually OCD

i feel as though due to OCD having its tendencies to feel so real, it can sometimes feel as though it is denial and that creates so much anxiety for me that i begin ruminating and wondering whether i actually have intrusive thoughts or i am just in denial even though i know that i am not. it is a vicious loop such as “i know i am not this thought” “but what if you are” “i’m not so you can leave me alone now” “what if you’re in denial?” “i’m not” followed by a string of strong doubt that keeps me in a loop. reassuring myself only fills me with more doubt. sometimes i may even set actively myself ocd tasks like “get up and do five star jumps now or …” to test my reaction to it and ensure that my thoughts are still intrusive. however i have found that there is such power and validation in not doing compulsions and although it’s hard and i still do them sometimes, this is something that almost relieves anxiety for me now as i know not doing my compulsions is helping me progress but then again floods in the doubt that i ever had ocd/instrusive thoughts in the first place. so overall not doing compulsions and not arguing with my brain and simply saying “okay, you’re just going to argue with me if i don’t agree with you anyway” with a laugh has been so freeing. anyone else? you are loved and i hope that you are okay <3

ocdandme2828

Date posted: 2y

I experienced as you described. I also often experience this kind of thing.. suddenly a thought pops up in my mind that feels familiar, I'm trying to figure out if this is a memory or a thought. and I can't get out of this thought, I'm afraid it's memory but I'm in denial, but honestly I don't know. I don't know how not to think about this because if this was real I would definitely be punished in prison. living with ocd is very tiring :(

justtryingto...

Date posted: 2y

i don’t have any form of false memory OCD so i have no idea what you’re going through :’) the fear of denial is very scary but just another part of OCD you’re going to be okay <3

ocdandme2828

Date posted: 2y

@justtryingtobeme i hope we can through this <3

justtryingto...

Date posted: 2y

@fh2828 we will :)

Ok_Paint758

Date posted: 19w

Is telling myself "it's just ocd" a compulsion?

When I was a child, before I knew this was OCD, I struggled with constant "magical thinking" compulsions (don't step on the crack or mom's back will actually break, etc). When I later learned this was OCD, it almost immediately solved it. Any time I got a magical thought, I would say to myself "that's just an OCD thought. ignore it." and it just stopped coming! Like seriously it fixed the magical thinking stuff forever. But of course the OCD has resurfaced in other ways. So naturally, I've tried to use the same strategy since I had so much success with it previously. But I wonder sometimes if telling myself "that's just OCD" is almost functioning as a reassurance compulsion? I hate how meta this gets. For example, I have ROCD that comes and goes. So sometimes I'll get a thought like "what if i'm still in love with my ex?" and then I'll tell myself "that's obviously just an ROCD thought" and will feel relief, almost like reassurance. But it comes back. So is telling myself that it's OCD a reassurance compulsion ?? It's just so weird because it worked so perfectly as a kid with the magical thinking thing.

Rayanswaid

Date posted: 19w

Realizing That Thoughts Are Just Thoughts.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how OCD changes the way we see ourselves, but I recently realized that I am not my thoughts. Just because a thought pops up doesn’t mean it’s true or that it defines me. I’ve started learning how to see OCD for what it is—just a disorder trying to trick me—and I’ve become stronger in dealing with it. Has anyone else here had a similar realization? How do you handle these thoughts when they show up?

Conquering_OCD

Date posted: 16w

Knowing the difference

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

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questioning whether OCD is actually OCD

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