- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
ok. i’m sorry i can’t put a trigger warning on a reply. i am a female. i started smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day in high school bc my parents let me smoke in my bedroom. i was anorexic in 2004 when i was hit by a car as a pedestrian. i flew in the air, flipped upside down, smacked my head on the windshield, flew off the car, and fractured my tailbone on the street. i did not fracture my skull. i received no treatment or counseling for my concussion at the hospital and my tailbone wasn’t imaged. i didnt find out until a few weeks later when i told my gp doctor about my uncontrollable weeping that i probably had a concussion. i developed bulimia. i had my first psychotic break in 2011 and my second psychotic break in 2012. both were related to overconsumption of marijuana. i was in and out of psychosis between 2013 and 2017 with extreme debilitating ocd. i shared a smoke with a friend in 2015 and caught mono. while i had acute mononucleosis, i became psychotic and obsessed with curing myself by abstaining from food and water (breatharianism). i have gone 7 days without water probably 3 or 4 times. neurons die after 24 hours without water. i didn’t eat regularly for two years. just starving and binging and starving. i refuse to have an mri or neuropsych testing. ive been sexually assaulted multiple times in the past couple of years (i have germ ocd). i am still afraid to get tested but i’m doing ok. my doctor thinks i’m fine. brains are really resilient and can heal. i hope this helps. i’m holding down a high pressure job, my performance is excellent, and i am mostly functional and have made huge strides with my obsessions. i was housebound for years. i still obsess. i got incredibly depressed this week about work, i still have intrusive thoughts that shame me. but i am managing. thanks for letting me share. please let me know if i can help you get over your fear of brain damage. i had extreme fear of brain damage and i have mostly gotten over it. it’s the brain i have and it is still able to be creative, learn new things, organize, and remember to complete multiple tasks.
- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
if you really want to know how someone might mess up their brain and aren’t worried about being triggered, i’ll tell you my story. it’s extreme. but my doctor is confident my brain is fine regardless. the brain is extremely resilient
- Date posted
- 6y
i used to obsess about this too but i dont anymore
- Date posted
- 6y
T3ddy Thank you so much for sharing your story. I greatly appreciate it. You're a true inspiration.
- Date posted
- 6y
i’m so glad it’s helpful. i’m happy to share. i’m pretty sure i am still healing. i am trying to be more proactive with meditation. i am grateful for the things my brain is capable of doing. i take care of it now — omega 3’s and greens and adaptogenic herbs and CBD and exercise. sometimes i watch too much TV when im anxious. i don’t smoke cigarettes anymore. oh yeah, i also used to be a horrible alcoholic. forgot to mention that. fortunately it didn’t last long. i once drank an entire bottle of vodka by myself. once i drank a hip flask of rum after fasting for a week. we’re all going to continue healing. your brain could be better in ten years than it was when you were 15. especially since brain research is advancing so rapidly.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for sharing your story of resilience and determination.
- Date posted
- 6y
How does one mess up their brain ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Remember your brain works in a funny way. It’s actually there to protect you. The OCD is the fear. And the symptoms is the brains way of protecting itself from further harm. Try square breathing for 10 min. In for 4 hold for 4 out for 4 hold for 4 repeat
- Date posted
- 6y
Teddy u can tell your story
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
Can it? I've had it for 5 years, not just in the background, fully severe and acutely crippling. I can hardly go through life, my memory and cognition are very poor, I struggle with comprehension and have difficulty thinking clearly or having conversations to people about everyday things. Like I can only narrate my ocd thoughts in my head, regular thoughts take too much brain power to think about. I have very high anxiety and depressive feelings also. I'm just worried my brain is structurally changed from this ongoing traumatic experiencs and when I'm in my late 30s or 40s it's going to evolve into neurodegenerative diseases. I want to get a brain scan done and see if everything is alright. What kind of doctor or tests would show me that?
- Date posted
- 15w
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
- Date posted
- 13w
First-time poster in the community here, but I had something really eating at me. I’m not sure if it’s an OCD symptom or not, but I feel like my brain has developed a coping mechanism over the years, and honestly, it bothers me daily that I can’t control it. I’ve been seen as a pretty smart person by my peers, and I can be smart, but I keep getting a reaction to thinking too much. I’ve noticed that on most days, I simply can’t think. I’m not talking like “I have so many solutions to this question”, but instead, it’s more like “I don’t know the answer, and if I try to find it I’ll be wrong” or simply I can’t recall the information. However, I’ll get these waves of what I call “kickstarts” where, all of a sudden, everything is so clear to me. I feel everything that I’m numb to, and at first, I’m glad to finally feel capable. But later that day, often several days that week, the fog is lifted and all of the terrible thoughts start to flow in. I’m in a loving relationship, and she’s given me no reason to second guess, but thoughts of her finding someone better than me always show, and thoughts that I’m not good enough, with thoughts that I can’t get to shut up long enough for me to do anything even remotely productive. I believe that paired with my depressive habits, OCD has really kicked my a** for my entire life, and the mental fog that has developed as a coping mechanism bothers me just as much, even causing obsessive thoughts that I am a poser, or a fraud, of a person. Thank you guys, if you read this long-winded rant, I just had to tell someone that it was bothering me before it exploded.
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