Riverbend
- Date posted
- 6y
T3ddyT3ddy
- Date posted
- 6y
ok. i’m sorry i can’t put a trigger warning on a reply. i am a female. i started smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day in high school bc my parents let me smoke in my bedroom. i was anorexic in 2004 when i was hit by a car as a pedestrian. i flew in the air, flipped upside down, smacked my head on the windshield, flew off the car, and fractured my tailbone on the street. i did not fracture my skull. i received no treatment or counseling for my concussion at the hospital and my tailbone wasn’t imaged. i didnt find out until a few weeks later when i told my gp doctor about my uncontrollable weeping that i probably had a concussion. i developed bulimia. i had my first psychotic break in 2011 and my second psychotic break in 2012. both were related to overconsumption of marijuana. i was in and out of psychosis between 2013 and 2017 with extreme debilitating ocd. i shared a smoke with a friend in 2015 and caught mono. while i had acute mononucleosis, i became psychotic and obsessed with curing myself by abstaining from food and water (breatharianism). i have gone 7 days without water probably 3 or 4 times. neurons die after 24 hours without water. i didn’t eat regularly for two years. just starving and binging and starving. i refuse to have an mri or neuropsych testing. ive been sexually assaulted multiple times in the past couple of years (i have germ ocd). i am still afraid to get tested but i’m doing ok. my doctor thinks i’m fine. brains are really resilient and can heal. i hope this helps. i’m holding down a high pressure job, my performance is excellent, and i am mostly functional and have made huge strides with my obsessions. i was housebound for years. i still obsess. i got incredibly depressed this week about work, i still have intrusive thoughts that shame me. but i am managing. thanks for letting me share. please let me know if i can help you get over your fear of brain damage. i had extreme fear of brain damage and i have mostly gotten over it. it’s the brain i have and it is still able to be creative, learn new things, organize, and remember to complete multiple tasks.
Mike1234Mike1234
- Date posted
- 6y
T3ddyT3ddy
- Date posted
- 6y
if you really want to know how someone might mess up their brain and aren’t worried about being triggered, i’ll tell you my story. it’s extreme. but my doctor is confident my brain is fine regardless. the brain is extremely resilient
T3ddyT3ddy
- Date posted
- 6y
i used to obsess about this too but i dont anymore
RiverbendRiverbend
- Date posted
- 6y
T3ddy Thank you so much for sharing your story. I greatly appreciate it. You're a true inspiration.
T3ddyT3ddy
- Date posted
- 6y
i’m so glad it’s helpful. i’m happy to share. i’m pretty sure i am still healing. i am trying to be more proactive with meditation. i am grateful for the things my brain is capable of doing. i take care of it now — omega 3’s and greens and adaptogenic herbs and CBD and exercise. sometimes i watch too much TV when im anxious. i don’t smoke cigarettes anymore. oh yeah, i also used to be a horrible alcoholic. forgot to mention that. fortunately it didn’t last long. i once drank an entire bottle of vodka by myself. once i drank a hip flask of rum after fasting for a week. we’re all going to continue healing. your brain could be better in ten years than it was when you were 15. especially since brain research is advancing so rapidly.
Mike1234Mike1234
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for sharing your story of resilience and determination.
js94js94
- Date posted
- 6y
How does one mess up their brain ?
BeatocdBeatocd
- Date posted
- 6y
Remember your brain works in a funny way. It’s actually there to protect you. The OCD is the fear. And the symptoms is the brains way of protecting itself from further harm. Try square breathing for 10 min. In for 4 hold for 4 out for 4 hold for 4 repeat
js94js94
- Date posted
- 6y
Teddy u can tell your story
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Brigitta
- Date posted
- 25w
Exhausted of ocd
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Mgully09
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel like I'm not in control of my own mind
I hate the way ocd has completely messed up my brain, I struggle to tell the difference between an intrusive though and a regular one, I have really bad issues with morality and I feel as if my brain can no longer tell what is and isn't right and I can't tell if I'm over reacting about situations and I end up feeling stuck in a loop of wondering if I'm a bad person and trying to look at a situation rationally and not knowing if that's even possible with the state of my mind, I feel like none of my thoughts are actually mine. I hate it and I wish I could feel in control of my thoughts even for just a day, just to know what it's like. I've had ocd symptoms since I was about 9-10 so i feel like I've never really know a life without it. I just wish I could live out my teenage years like anyone else my age. I can hardly engage with my hobbies and passions and I don't know what to do about it. I can't go to therapy or get medication because I'm not even diagnosed, I just feel trapped. I'm only a teenager, like I said, I don't want to live my entire life like this.
ocdnomore1
- Date posted
- 19w
How abou you?
I suffer since 10 - 15 yrs from specific fears. It was years that my OCD constantly wanted to be checked if I have HIV or not. I had a lot of sex and I thought this is normal. But I ruminated in my backhead about and was testing like 5 - 10 times a year. After the test I felt everytime so relieved. In Corona I was addicted to porn and even I lost control and was watching pretty hard stuff. I was chatting with a girl and we fantasized about really disturbing things. I never wanna meet her and for me was sure it's just kinda onlinestuff. I was in a relationship 3 years now. And I lost fear of HIV. But then came Morality OCD, Real Event (this chat) and after some times POCD. This combination was knocking me out, I felt like the badest person on earth. I did everything wrong and searched for relief and reassurance. It put me to the point of suicidal. I never ever hurting somebody, but my brain was making me a monster. I had to quit the relationship because I just couldn't give her what she deserved. I was in a clinic for 3 months. And we tested medication with ERP (before I took escitalopram for years). Anafranil was working first, then too many side-effects. I tried even without meds, but was so depressed. Now on sertralin for 5 weeks, but only 2 weeks on therapeutic dose 200mg. And wow, now I really feel so confused in the brain. I feel like how big my OCD became. The specific thoughts are not anymore, BUT it sticks on EVERYTHING atm. It's delusional how it feels in the brain. I really hope so deep my brain makes finally a reset and I need to wait it out. I could live with OCD for a long time but the last 1-2 yrs it took absolutely everything. I remark that POCD doesn't stick anymore like before but my brain is now constructing a very bad future because of past mistakes (that I all discussed with family, friends for relief over and over and over again). So it's like my OCD is now Real Event (The sexchat) again. Anyone was on the same point in life?
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