I tried to do what I told my case manager I was going to do over the weekend was to talk a walk to clear my mind but it wasn’t useful. One of my compulsions is not stepping on the lines or cracks in between the concrete sidewalks and walking back to start over. Like I’ve said before, OCD is constantly being tied to everything I do.
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
I have pure ocd i think , i always gotta make sure i do certain things like tap things , light switches on n off , shut things few times and re open them till it feels right . Walk in a room go back out and back in out in in till my mind is right Its exhausting
I am currently attending talk therapy but have never brought up symptoms of OCD. Here are some things that I believe MIGHT be OCD but I’m not sure. - I have a lot of trouble focusing and get distracted by so many things (Constantly wanting to touch things like Buttons, feeling textured things, etc.) - The volume on ANY device can not be at any volume with the number 6 - I can NOT step on cracks - I have to walk an equal amount of steps on both feet or I’ll go crazy - I fear that if I do something I’m not supposed to, something bad is going to happen to me I might sound funny but these things genuinely bother me, your help is appreciated LOL
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