I’m so worn out physically, mentally, emotionally, every way. I’ve been fighting this my whole life and I just don’t think I’m strong enough anymore as of recently. I’m just really sad. I don’t want ocd to win but I’m so tired
So youve proven how strong you've been many many times
One thing I've thought recently is ...yes it can be so frustrating over the years but somehow we've gotten through each day to today
I’ve been feeling like this too. It’s really scary, but I’m trying to keep hope!❤️you got this, I’m so proud of you.
@Liviej thank you 💛 I get so overwhelmed sometimes
I know that feeling exactly
you guys can do it, i believe in you. think about all the other times you’ve felt this way and you’ve gotten through it now stronger than ever !
@missgirl thank you 💛
I'm sure you've had some days here and there that were ok or even good
thank u! I appreciate it
The issue though is those feelings of stress and being uncomfortable are there too often.
But the very good news is that there are so many ways to relieve these stressors and actually get a lot better
i feel you 100% you've got this i believe in you
@kiwibasket Thank you so much
I have been here so many times. Are you in therapy? On meds? Doing ERP? These things saved my life.
@Maybe,MaybeNot yes to all! it’s been about 15 years with ocd for me so sometimes I just feel like giving up
@buffy4ever Wow, that’s a long time. I really feel as if it’s taking so long, something isn’t right in your treatment. Treatment should work quicker than that if we are doing it effectively. Have you considered switching therapists or trying a different medicine?
@Maybe,MaybeNot yes many times unfortunately! it was a huge issue for a few years as a child and symptoms would pop up every now and then throughout my adolescence. Now I’ve had ROCD for about a year, and that’s what’s been controlling my life the most. I’ve been on almost every med there is, have had many therapists, outpatient programs, and even TMS. it’s a lot so sometimes I get so overwhelmed
@buffy4ever Have you ever been tested to see what antidepressants will work best for you based on your genes? Since you’ve tried and failed so many medications, you may want to look into that.
@Liviej I’ve done that too 😅
@buffy4ever That truly sucks. I’m so sorry. Have you considered going inpatient?
@Maybe,MaybeNot I have, but unfortunately the only OCD focused one recommended by my doctors is out of my price range :( I’m hoping that more time with ERP will help
@buffy4ever Are you in the US? East coast?
@buffy4ever Another question for you, what have your attempts been like with the following? Looptapes Scripting Mindfulness Sitting through the urge to engage in rumination I have a lot of tips on how to recover as I’m in recovery and am an OCD therapist so just trying to see if there is anything you haven’t tried yet. Have you looked into the following? Chrissy Hodges videos Ali Greymond videos OCD Stories Podcast on YouTube Mindfulness workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield
@Maybe,MaybeNot I’ve done some! I’m currently doing ERP with a therapist here but I’ll definitely bring these things up to her, thank you! I appreciate it!
💆♂️
Are you in treatment?
@yup_its_ocd Yes
I’m struggling so much, I don’t know what’s changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now it’s been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and it’s taxing him too. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted I’m tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. I’m so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. I’m so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. I’m so sick of how compulsive I get when I’m so riddled with anxiety. I don’t want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I don’t want love because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. I’m so lost and tired of this
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’ve lost so much weight due to this mental illness. I sleep 18 hours a day to escape these thoughts. I grieve my old self so much. I miss crushing on men, I miss loving men, I miss dressing up nice and get compliments from men, I miss listening to music and daydream about my dream man. I miss wanting to get married and have my own kids with my dream husband. All of those things… I’ve desired them so much and I’ve daydreamed about them so much. My OCD is telling me that it’s all fake. I miss my old desire and love for men. I’m so tired of being alive. I’m so tired of seeing multiple posts where people who apparently suffered from SOOCD became their fears. I’m so tired. Cause y’all probably didn’t even have ocd in the first place idc. I will say it again, has it been someone with pocd or harm ocd and their obsessions/fears became true NONE of y’all would’ve had the same reaction. Stop normalizing soocd obsessions becoming true. It is someone’s worst nightmare. People are out here attempting because of it.
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