I hate whenever my mind finds a memory that shows "proof" that my real event is worse than it seems and I'm not remembering the timeline correctly. My mind instantly goes to doubting which obviously I try to say no no shut up that doesn't prove anything. I know I should just leave it alone but god dang its so scary :( Anyways just needed to vent I guess. How is everyone's night/day ?
I feel like you are going through a very similar experience to me, all your posts seem really relatable. šš
Horrible. I think I had an anxiety attack in my sleep
@BigGip09 Oh no :( I'm so sorry that happened to you Gip. I hope you are taking this time to calm down a bit, take care of yourself, have some water, if you haven't eaten much today maybe get a snack. Put on a show you like to watch or videos. I hope you'll be able to rest soon again š«š
@InkJoy123 That's the thing, I don't really know how to calm this down long term. At the end of the day, I worry about everything. That's what's normal to me and I don't know why. I know I've had some bad experiences in the past when I was much younger, and that's probably where all this worrying stems from. But like, I just worry about EVERYTHING. It can even be good things to look forward to, but I'll worry about what can go wrong instead of focusing on the good. I'm so sick of the intrusive thoughts. This has been going on for 2 whole years and now I'm starting to notice the physical effects. I feel fatigue throughout the day, there's tension in some muscles, and I get this bothersome lightheaded feeling. I hate it. I wish the things you listed could fix this but it just comes back
@BigGip09 It could be something more then, which is nothing bad obviously if there is more to it I would love for you to get the help and neccessities you need for it. I don't diagnose obviously and do not take what I say as true but you could be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Your unable to feel relaxation and are constantly worried about many things and these emotions are probably 10x more than what someone normally feels. Again DO NOT take what I say as factual because I am not a doctor obviously but I know that if it effects you everyday almost 24/7 then I would really love if there would be someone out there to help you. Ever considered looking into something like that ? Or are you unable to ? Or have you already and its not working out ? š«š
@InkJoy123 It's been hard to tell loved ones what's going on because it's hard to put these things into words. It's also hard to say that you need help when it comes to something like this. I tried going to a clinic to see if something was wrong medically and I was fine. It wasn't COVID or asthma that caused these kind of symptoms, so I'm just assuming it's been anxiety messing me up. It's been this way ever since I remembered the day OCD began for me. I saw something in my past I really didn't like and it altered my thinking permanently. I guess that was a traumatic moment for me. I can't even believe that one moment did this much change for me. I've been trying to look into treatment but it's just been hard to get through the "I need help" phase.
@BigGip09 Yeah I can see how hard it is has been for you. Again I'm sorry I can't do much and I do really hope you'll be able to get through this and get treatment if you would like to get it and if its available for you. Heres a hug š«š
I hate this! so f-ing annoying! my brain gets over one āwhat ifā, then goes onto the next immediately. Itās like my punishment for feeling and sort of peace or relief. for example, I did a compulsion yesterday trying to see if I did anything bad/inappropriate, I eventually got relief and was like I didnāt do anything bad but then today I did the compulsion one more time just to make sure and then I finally got relief and then my ocd latched onto the compulsion I did today and was like āwhat if u did something bad/inappropriate but donāt rememberā like wtf. this JUST happened. it feels like i forget things immediately!!! Idek if this makes sense im just venting this is so annoying
Hi all, Iām really grateful for all the support Iāve gotten from people in the last few days. My mental health is at an all time low and I really appreciate the relief people have brought. I had a question about whether an intrusive image of a potentially imagined event can feel just as real as a real memory. Iām doing my best to stop ruminating over an image I have in my head, and have gone so far as requested security footage of myself and have been told both through that and by my friends that nothing bad happened, but the image in my head feels just as real as other memories. I was also drinking the night in question, which makes it harder for me to dismiss the image and makes me feel like I shouldnāt. I was just wondering if imagined images can feel just as real? Iām trying to use tools to ignore the image, and have therapy scheduled for tomorrow, but I feel like I canāt responsibly dismiss the image even with the evidence Iāve gathered if thereās something about a real memory that looks different in the brain and that if so, that suggests my memory is real and I should confess it. Iām really working on stopping reassurance seeking as well, especially now that even after being told that nothing bad happened when the establishment I was at reviewed security footage, my brain is telling me ātheyāre probably just lying and never reviewed it.ā I know I need to just stop ruminating, reassurance seeking, and mentally checking the memory, but I just donāt know if I can/should in case the image is what I should trust more, if that makes sense.
How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an āintrusive thoughtā where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking āwhat ifā and āwhat is thisā and then that intrusive thought turned into me ārememberingā something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ādetailsā and what nots. and Iāve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and Itās like Iāve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk
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