Stuckinmyheadwaves

Date posted: 2y

SOCD Recovery?

I feel a lot more calm than I did a week ago, and I know I am not gay or bi, but since I’m not having full blown panic attacks or crying, I’m now anxious that I was just in denial? Idk, deep down I know I only ever want to be with a man, but it’s almost like the anxiety gave me comfort that I’m straight. I still have false attraction but even then I know deep down that it’s just not true, but it makes me uncomfy. I hope this makes sense, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel after learning about how my brain works and calming myself. Anyone else experience this?

LiteUpMyMind

Date posted: 2y

I keep developing more forms of OCD and I have caught myself staring at women and thinking perverted thoughts but they are intrusive thoughts and they make me so uncomfortable but I know I'm totally and always have been a straight woman.

GSR

Date posted: 2y

Ocd tends to focus on particular though because we put to much value and it’s our job to rewire and treat them as any other thought. Yeah when something pops up it’s so uncomfortable but it’s good it’s basically triggering anxiety I find that as a good yeah it sucks but we have to do it to get stronger we will overcome this guys!

GSR

Date posted: 2y

No yeah I’ve been reading I’m straight but I’m like so down and feel bad like it went or so thing but it’s all ocd. Imm get more confident with my sexuality one day!

GSR

Date posted: 2y

Just take is as ocd mental illness I have hope that everything will subside and fall back into place…

Locna

Date posted: 2y

Themes change with OCD just remember that under all that uncertainty is a person. You.

nobody03

Date posted: 2y

i’m in this exact same place. it feels like the anxiety was reassurance that you’re still straight and then now that you’re not anxious you’re wondering if it was denial all along.

Stuckinmyhea...

Date posted: 2y

@nobody03 Right? But at the same time I’m really confident in my sexuality right now, I know that I’m straight. But I think the anxiety of knowing that I’ve had this OCD theme is looming over my head and I’m not letting myself fully relax

Stuckinmyhea...

Date posted: 2y

@nobody03 I guess I just feel happier today than others idk, I know the feeling can come back at any point

nobody03

Date posted: 2y

@Stuckinmyheadwaves i feel that way sometimes. it doesn’t last too long for me but when i feel confident in my sexuality it feels good. i sometimes read a story about a female HOCD recovery story and she feels confident in her sexuality all the time after ERP. she even said she can feel turned on by a woman and still know she’s straight! i guess therapy could help us both feel better. but remember it’s OCD and our anxiety playing mind tricks on us

Stuckinmyhea...

Date posted: 2y

@nobody03 I think the feeling good part is something I’ll probably hold onto, and I can use that feeling to differentiate from my intrusive thoughts. My intrusive thoughts make me feel AWFUL!!! Even when my brain tries to tell me I like them, I know I don’t, I get so uncomfortable. But I feel good right now being calm and confident that I’m straight. I hope that makes sense lol

nobody03

Date posted: 2y

@Stuckinmyheadwaves yeah it does make sense! i wish i felt like that rn lol but this mental repetition is what’s causing me more doubt and i can’t stop. it also feels like i like my intrusive thoughts but i know when i’m in the midst of them i feel so so AWFUL. keep hanging in there

Ghost123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@nobody03 I guess SOCD affects women differently than men. I had SOCD kick in yesterday, and I felt a lot of anxiety and fear, but I was able to sit with it for around 3 mins until I felt anxious. My whole body felt like it was pain. We can get there eventually when we give less attention to it.

Locna

Date posted: 2y

@Ghost123 Oh yeah it's very palatable for me it's a physical sensation. Feels like my skin rolls, my body is shaking and my scalp is cold/numb. Sitting with that is horrible. I agree acknowledging it's there from time to time helps but like a neighbor you generally never invite them in.

Anonymous123

Date posted: 24w

Thoughts make sense

I've always found women pretty and admired them since I was younger, never wanted to be with them or anything. I always pictured having a boyfriend and my crushes were always boys. I have a boyfriend now but because this has happened I feel nothing towards him or any men. To be honest I'm so exhausted I don't feel much at all, there was so much anxiety at the start and now there is none. Does that mean I have accepted the thoughts. My mind keeps going you were suppressed all these years but I do find women pretty so that's what's making it worse. Am I just in denial and being delusional? I never doubted my sexuality before this I always considered myself to be straight but I feels like my mind has been twisted and can't remember any attraction to guys but can remember thinking girls are pretty? Does this mean it's all real? I don't know anymore

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

SOCD false attraction

hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible

mattis!

Date posted: 17w

Feels so real

I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

SOCD Recovery?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community