First day of school/first ERP sesh

My college classes start again tomorrow and I’m super anxious about a recent real event related to my compulsions. I feel guilty cause I made a pretty bad impression on some people from my school, so I’m expecting to run into them and face a really stressful confrontation, and I don’t want to have to explain my ocd because I’m pretty sure they won’t believe me. I feel like a fuckup for having difficult-to-control compulsions that actually bother people. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable and I feel like all I do is work hard trying not to and then it all blows up in my face. I also have my first ERP appointment and I’m scared to share my thoughts and experiences and that they will be misinterpreted. Any advice?

Username: Caitlyn Abate

Date posted: 201d ago

You won’t be misunderstood and usually a lot of people have trouble explaining because, it’s really hard to explain it’s a bunch of weird things

Username: Have Some Chocolate 🍫

Date posted: 201d ago

Don't worry you won't be misinterpreted....... Just share all of your thoughts and experiences....... You will be okay :)

Username: Dr.ER

Date posted: 201d ago

Feelings of shame are so common and debilitating— talk to yourself as you would a friend through this situation with compassion and understanding. No one else knows or will ever fully understand what is going on in your head, and you do not owe anyone a detailed explanation! Depending upon the person/situation, trying to do so may be a compulsion to apologize/seek reassurance, and it may be more awkward for you and/or them. Plus give your OCD another thing to ruminate about and convince you did wrong. I recommend practicing DBT radical acceptance, cope ahead skill, and dialectical perspective that the situation(s) happened, you did the best you could with what you had during it AND you are working to keep improving (can find worksheets for these free online 😉). Once you are feeling in a better place, you can choose to let others know when things are being extremely difficult and acknowledge your compulsions in a way that feel right for you. Personally, I have to joke about it or I will be anxious/shy/tearful with compulsions to apologize/overexplain/seek reassurance. Acknowledging it yourself in a lighthearted manner when it happens or as a disclaimer in advcance when likely gives you power over the situation/shame, makes you seem more confident (even if you’re not!), and helps puts you and others more at ease. I personally seek reassurance a lot and give people permission to ask me what I think vs answering again when I catch myself. You can also say things like “sorry if that bothered you. Sometimes my brain is weird/tells me to do weird things… I’m working on that!”. Find what works for you and share it with others as you feel comfortable!