- Date posted
- 2y
Is this an OCD trap? Help me please š
I accidentally deleted text messages older than 1 year and thatās A LOT of msgs, all because I was trying to do an urge! I was āchallengingā myself to hover my thumbs on the āauto-delete conversation ā on my iPhone for 7x while saying the usual ritual/prayers & because it only takes a minute, I heeded. It didnāt feel right so I did it again, and my fear came true, I accidentally clicked on it, and now theyāre gone. Whenever I have an intrusive thought, i go back to those conversations to calm my mind, answer the questions that pop up, and stop the thoughts from coming back, if they come back, I have an answer for it! But now I donāt, and Iām scared I donāt know what to do when they come. I am also feeling very anxious because Iām tempted to try to recover it as much as I can (deep research about it). Maybe I can also recover a snapchat conversation from 3 years ago so I can have my questions answered, and when I think most of this started. Is this an OCD trap or will recovering it help me? PS. I have mixed feelings right now. I feel anxious and a little nauseous because intrusive thoughts might come in and I canāt answer them and also that temptation of trying everything I can to recover it (I feel great anxiety and a rush while doing this). Thereās also this fear of what if thereās info there that I needed. but when I researched and it said itās permanently deleted and I canāt do anything at all, yes I feel defeated but also AT PEACE because I canāt feel like I have to ārecoverā it anymore, and I donāt have anything to look back. BUT there is a way which is the third party app, so now thereās this looming feeling of I HAVE TO DO THAT.