Is this really all ocd... I can’t sleep I can’t eat. I just think all day..

Does anyone relate? I have really bad schizo OCD.. and before I had a lot of other themes but because the schizo theme is current and taking over the other ones have kind of been pushed to the side and all I can focus on is becoming crazy.. Well these past couple of days have been bad and as soon as I wake up I have this like really uncomfortable feeling in my chest.. no matter how much sleep I get or if I wasn’t stressed before going to bed. Then another thing I guess since I don’t have thoughts about really anything else for the day (ex. What are my tasks today, I’m excited for this today, oh I’m hungry.. etc) my thoughts are kind of all over the place about my schizo ocd and then it’s to the point I have random conversations that don’t even make sense in my head or I hear family members voices in my head saying something but it’s like I know it’s all my mind doing it but it still confuses me why random thoughts I didn’t think pop up or why I’m hearing it in their voice but this only happens when I first wake up or if I’m falling asleep. Then once it happens my brain is like.. does this mean I’m going crazy and starting to hear voices.. idk it’s literally driving me crazy..

I can’t figure out if I’m really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think I’m seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.

Early morning havnt slept and ocd hasn't stopped for days I just want to be able to breath it's so debilitating in every way and I just feel the ocd thoughts start to pop ideas in my head and the things it comes up with like the worries are not just thoughts they are fully formed situations and very specific when I haven't even thought about it before it's like it forms this whole thing in my head subconsciously and then before I know it I'm chillin and then I'm just 50 ft under water drowning because it just throws a whole spacific situation at me that I never even thought of this effects me in every way possible and I just lay here misrible all day having seizer after seizer from stress being suicidal and just suffocating and so much more I just dread every moment I'm awake because the moment I am counsious it starts ugh it's every moment of my day just suffering so yeah really not looking forward to waking up 10 years of this and I'm exhausted the only relief I get is switching to another theme like i just wamma get pregnant so i csn obsess over that instead of what i am rn ot effects everyone around me and im just so miserable