Is this really all ocd... I can’t sleep I can’t eat. I just think all day..

I have ocd with a schizophrenia theme and it literally kills me, but I’m determined to beat this and get my life back. I always look back on who I used to be before all of this started and I think I can still be that person. I always used to have ocd before I even knew what ocd was. I used to have bouts of pocd and harm ocd, but they weren’t as bad as this one. I’ve been diagnosed three times with ocd and still can’t get past this obsession. It all started when I got a horrible panic attack from weed when I was 18. I idiotically decided to research and convinced myself I’ve had like 90 different illnesses. The worst one that stuck out the most of what I read was schizo. It literally petrified me. I’ve had times with this obsession where I felt normal again. I traveled a lot, I hung out with friends, and things were getting better for a couple of years. Now 2018 hits I’m 25 and the obsession came back 400 times stronger. Everyone tells me I’m fine, but my mind always comes up with the scariest thoughts to try and convince me that I’m crazy. It’s been so depressing

I should also mention that I have no family history of it, but I am left handed and I read that lefties are more likely to have it. I’m so afraid that I started to try and write with my right hand. How stupid is that. ?

I’m so sorry to hear the hard time u have been having w/ your ocd sweetie. That’s truly intense. I have ocd too, it also holds me back. I’ll obsess about a bad thought I have and have to perform certain “repetitive rituals” in my head to somehow “undo” that bad thought. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s truly the strangest feeling to be jailed in your own mind. Especially when u know u can have control but your brain convinces u that u don’t. It’s something so difficult to explain to people who don’t go through it. But I do assure u, u WILL beat this and u R OKAY. Life is NOT out to get u. Life is beautiful. Try to learn meditation, it really helped me. I also keep calming energy crystals around myself at home, work, car and purse. It sounds silly but energy is all around u. It can make u feel imbalanced and balancing it out/working on it daily like a vitamin is so important.

It will get better!

What r u constantly thinking of?

@shiriiiiii6 my husband just got me an energy crystal ring ?❤️

OCD can make you do stupid things ? it has made me do many stupid things