- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m sorry- ocd is an entire disorder of ‘looking into’ things. That doesn’t mean a single thing. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what pedophiles think, aren’t pedophiles. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what failing relationships look like, usually are not in any relationship trouble at all. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what transgender people go through, are not themselves transgender. This is a disorder of ‘looking into’ things because we have attached a 100-pound weight onto random passing thoughts that has the label ‘truth’ on it. Note- the thought itself has no truth label, it’s the extremely heavy block of cement that we put there that has the label. We can work to detach the weight from the thoughts and be free, but not with suggestions from other people that ‘looking into’ something has ANY deeper meaning. Be careful what you are insinuating to very vulnerable people on this app.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes thankyou I understand it's just so confusing its like I have 2 Brains constantly fighting 1 is rational and the is irrational
- Date posted
- 6y
Plz someone help I'm dying inside I can't even focus on my exams
- Date posted
- 6y
I previously had an ocd themes when I was 10 years old I was somehow obsessed with rubbing my hand on doorknobs and always checking the locks more then a dozen of times, I had minor scrupulosity the worst thing was when I was asleep I had the urge to count something I thought I was crazy because I was so young I had no idea what ocd even was I thought my ocd went but it turns out it just went asleep I no longer obsess about touching and counting but now it's hocd
- Date posted
- 6y
I so feel you. It makes sense that you simply can’t ‘stop’ obsessing- we wouldn’t have ocd if we could just ‘stop’, right? That used to happen a lot to me too, the second I woke up, and I used to think that meant something. Until I realized that *thinking* something, has no true purpose. No deeper meaning. Because of how you’ve reacted to the thoughts, your brain has tagged them as *dangerous, needs assessing*, so of course they will be thrown at you to figure out the second you wake up. You’ve convinced your brain that they are something to be afraid of. Beating ocd involves changing your relationship with your thoughts. Thoughts by themselves are just action potentials, neural noise, and by products of being alive. They don’t have a deep rooted meaning. Ocd recovery looks like identifying thoughts for what they are, letting them be there (cause you can’t fight your thoughts), and then moving towards everything you want for yourself in your life. I hope your appointment tomorrow is everything you need! Thinking of you!!
- Date posted
- 6y
*Sorry, realized I should clarify that an action potential is what happens when a neuron in your brain fires. No big abstract idea- just science:)
- Date posted
- 6y
You're afraid you will go to hell if you're a lesbian? So God's intention was to make you lesbian so you can go to hell? Anyway, just accept who you are. If you're a lesbian then that's the way it is. If you're not, you're not. Most important thing to do in this world is to accept yourself, to love yourself. Don't let anyone think you shouldn't. Stop looking into the whole lesbian thing. Don't read about it, don't look for it. Just focus on your life. Do things you love.
- Date posted
- 6y
It's sooo irrational I can't imagine myself making out with a girl though
- Date posted
- 6y
You're still looking into it... :-)
- Date posted
- 6y
What's that supposed to mean
- Date posted
- 6y
That just made me spike
- Date posted
- 6y
Lina- that doesn’t have any meaning at all. He should honestly delete that comment. I don’t want to be repetitive, but just try to focus on my comment before!
- Date posted
- 6y
Seems my words have a big impact on you. What i meant with "looking into it" is a compulsion that one should avoid doing as much as possible. The more you act under compulsions the more intense the obsession will be. My goal is to set her free from her obsession.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I understand
- Date posted
- 6y
I should delete my comment? She should focus on your comment?
- Date posted
- 6y
Don’t fight with the irrational one. That gives it importance. By arguing with it, you are giving it some ounce of truth that you then have to deny. It’s not something that needs to be denied because it has no real basis. You need to treat your obsessions like nagging, repetitive children that you just say ‘yes okay sure’ too, not because it has any truth, but because you want it to be quiet. Indifference is ocd’s kryptonite.
- Date posted
- 6y
She can decide for herself.
- Date posted
- 6y
And what about the people that have obsessional thoughts about being pedophiles? Or about their relationship? Should we all listen to our thoughts and change our lives depending on what they say? Listen, I don’t mean to be rude at all and I understand where you are coming from. But as I’m sure that you know, ocd is a deceptive monster. Bartering with it, acting like it has truth to our lives, is what keeps us in a repetitive loop for forever. We need to treat these thoughts and obsessions correctly for them to subside. Indifference to the uncertainty it causes. Hope you are well though!❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry!:/ I have a very similar story, but with things like body symmetry! Also had sexually intrusive thoughts that I didn’t know had anything to do with a disorder. I just thought I was ‘troubled’. Sad for my younger self, I was so scared:(
- Date posted
- 6y
Actually you do not understand where I'm coming from. OCD is often if not always the cause of (read: its development) unhealthy conditions, circumstances. The lower quality of life is, the harder it will be to deal with obsessions. So i always advice people to make changes that contribute to the quality of their lives.
- Date posted
- 6y
What changes
- Date posted
- 6y
Lina, I had the same years ago, having thoughts of being gay or having those instincts. Those were totally not true (5 years passed already and im still not gay :) Once I heard one psychiatrist explained the situation “mostly these ocd sufferers’ brain tries to hit them from the most valuable concepts they believe” It sounded very logical and real to me. Probably, you are a person who values to be a woman very much. And thats very nice of you. Another thing is, probably you are in stressful these days because of exams and etc. And your mind tries to find an escape from this situation. Thats why hitting you back. So, most important thing you should do is to give time to yourself, slowly try to heal and relax. OCS tries to tell you, find other things in your daily life to relax your mind. Dont think too complex, be simple.
- Date posted
- 6y
Tommrow I'm going to a cbt therapist we'll see what happens I just feel numb
- Date posted
- 6y
But when I wake up I feel soo anxious since the moment I open my eyes thats all I think about
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
First I want to start off with, as a kid, my brother touched me inappropriately, I watched him do the same with my cousin, than later on I did the same to my cousin. I feel great shame for it and I have yet to forgive myself. Now, since than 10 years later, I have always loved women, fantasized about women, constantly prayed to have one and do things to be with one 1 day. I struggled with porn a lot as a kid because I was shown it at such a young age. I remember first watching lesbian porn, than moving to guy and girl, than countdowns, etc. I was so hooked that it took an identity crisis to end this porn addiction. (I have only been sober for 3 weeks.) Now I only mention this because I think my porn addiction somewhat ruined me, same way as what I did in the past did. A year ago, I started to talk to a childhood crush I had, and things felt so great. We started to get along but I knew all I wanted to do was have sex and move on as wrong as that is. I ended up falling in love with her and asked her to be my girl. 9 months in, we were having constant arguments and she had this problem where she couldn’t give me a break. We were with each other 24/7 and it felt like dealing with a sister at some point. I remember talking to my friends and asking them what would they do and they always advised me to leave but I was not willing to because I knew I loved her and the way I was feeling was temporary and couples argue. Couple weeks in, I started to have these thoughts that we weren’t going to work out and that I no longer found her attractive. I kinda ignored them because it simply wasn’t true, I still found her attractive and would get hard ons for her yet, I still had this mindset that, “Oh, there’s other hotter girls” and, “Your ex looked so much better.” and I couldn’t stop these thoughts. One day I randomly woke up and remembered what I did as a kid, my whole world felt like it flipped. The thoughts were now, “what if you don’t like her because you’re secretly gay?”. I first laughed at the thought because of how ridiculous it sounded, but than it just kept going. Two weeks from a cycle of unwanted thoughts (1st stage of my ocd), I finally got over the thought with simple toughness and determination, I did lots of research on what was going on with me and went with the, “thoughts are just thoughts” method. I was doing well until we watch a netflix documentary “American Murder: Gabby Petito” and all of a sudden my mind began to think, “What if I’m secretly a psychopath and want to kill my gf?”. For about a week straight, It’s all I was able to think about. It scared me so much and I didn’t know what to do. I started to get urges to KILL my gf. I didn’t know what to do so I left the room and crawled up in a ball, crying to god asking for help.These thoughts went away but were quickly replaced by, “You want to kill your gf because you’re just gay”. This sent me into such great panic, I couldn’t eat for days and couldn’t feel anything but anxiety. Days went by and I finally went to a doctor, at first I started to feel better as If I was getting help and things were going to be okay. The thoughts went away again as I began to start doing more things and get out of my room (head). I felt like I was back again, I was able to love my gf, I started to go to church, I felt that god was real and than boom. Here I am again and this time things have gotten really bad. I can’t stop “checking”. As soon as I wake up I check if my gf is “good” enough for me. I check my past and see if I have ever done anything that show signs of being gay. I check out other girls and guys to see whether or not I like one or the other. Even when I accepted the possibility that maybe I am just gay, my mind will fight me and tell me that I’m more than just gay. Truth is, I don’t know anymore. I’ve always loved girls and my gf. I don’t know if this is OCD anymore but I wish for my old life again. I’ve always been so proud of my sexuality and loved everything about it. I never been homophobic but gay stuff does make me uncomfortable. Each day feels like I lost another part of me. I feel like I can’t live like this anymore. I lost all my belief in god, my morals and value feel so weak, and my life is no longer a fun enjoyable thing to look forward to. I need help.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi,im a fourteen years old girl. I live in a homophobic country,and i dont have any experience. I grew up and became homophobic just like my family and my religion.but in 13 year old.i was questioning why lgptq is illegal?while they are just being them and can’t select what they are? So..i became an agnostic or atheist by secret.oh,by addition,before i became atheist i was making sure i don’t like women,like looking at women pics and imagine some romantic or sexual senarios just to find out,(and i wasnt feel anything and didnt like them),and i was happy and comfort for being straight (i was liking fictional men and some actors,within experience except an online male friend i liked but we didn’t date).but after being atheist,its like fire,i start developing HOCD,im not officially have that because I can’t have a therapist,but i have the Symptoms 100%. I didnt know whats hocd ,i find out whats it before a month.when i was struggling with it like 7 months,so,i think it started when i was in very close friendship with a girl in school,i was confused.if i liked her or not,i was imagining,questioning,making scenarios,but i couldnt have an answer,but then i was comfort to keep it just friendship.when the questions about her go,i can see her normally as a friend and i dont think of her or text her every day and it sometimes reaches months in summer holidays and its normally to me,no romantic acts about her,but then i had a new friend to the group and i had the same thoughts and questions to her.and now my brain questioning if i like them both😢.ok.this gone.this is before year,before being atheist.after being.i was questioning “do i like women?” Or when i see a fictional woman,i start to look at her and questioning myself and try to catch any feeling,i swear i would accept myself to be gay or bisexual,but i just can’t feel or accept that..i feel like burn.i cried and cried.it somedays turns so hard that I can’t even study or live normally.i also started to lose my attraction to men.i feel like its gone,I can’t now imagine being a man without getting uncomfortable,i miss the days when i was enjoying imagining kissing and sexing with a man.but,hocd,always reminds me i have no experience,and its all imaginary,so I don’t have a real clue from beginning that im straight.and i also read an girl experience with hocd and she became a lesbian at the end,i get so scary.it feels so real.i just wanna cry forever.im afraid that i will like a girl in the future,it chock me and burns.i hate this feeling.to thr god i dont know or believe in,please,if i like women,just let me feel it normally without this fear and hurting.i dont want to be gay.i dont want to like women.i dont want to be bisexual or lesbian.but if being any of those but comfort without this feeling that makes me wanna suicide.i would accept,please.just please,i even can’t get a therapist,even online,i just want help.please.i dont want to be like those girls that find out they liked women all the time,im scared,i miss my old feelings and trusting.i hate this.i just want to die if its mean hocd to go.i feel like its so real and i will love a girl no way in hell future.i even feel its not wrong to like women,like its much better and more soft that men,but i just can’t.I can’t.i dont know,i did everything.i gave myself permission to find out or explore my attraction to the both genders but it hurts me more.i dont want to get hurts again anymore.just remembering i have no experience or clue i like men even if in past felt like i would like and date a man and liven with him,i keep reminding its all was Based on imagination…even if i was wishing to love a man,hocd ruined this peaceful feeling,i was really find peaceful of loving a man.but now,i don’t feel like before,and this scares me,i don’t know what to do.I can’t have a therapist,and dont even know how to get better,,,
- Date posted
- 15w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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