I'm confused and lost I don't know if it's hocd it's been more then a month about obsessing being a lesbian I really don't wanna be a lesbian before hocd I had a lot of gay friends and I was supportive and comfortable around them now I'm not before hocd I used to read romantic novels and enjoy being the girl and falling in love with a guy now I'm scared to read or watch a romantic movie for fear I'll realize I'm a lesbian I've tried to accept that I was a lesbian but ocd is always smarter then it made me think I'll go to hell which is sooo irrational because I can't imagine my self even kissing a girl(while I was writing that my ocd made me think I'm in denjal) I'm so lost tommrow I going to a cbt therapist I'm so scared.

I’m sorry- ocd is an entire disorder of ‘looking into’ things. That doesn’t mean a single thing. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what pedophiles think, aren’t pedophiles. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what failing relationships look like, usually are not in any relationship trouble at all. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what transgender people go through, are not themselves transgender. This is a disorder of ‘looking into’ things because we have attached a 100-pound weight onto random passing thoughts that has the label ‘truth’ on it. Note- the thought itself has no truth label, it’s the extremely heavy block of cement that we put there that has the label. We can work to detach the weight from the thoughts and be free, but not with suggestions from other people that ‘looking into’ something has ANY deeper meaning. Be careful what you are insinuating to very vulnerable people on this app.

Yes thankyou I understand it's just so confusing its like I have 2 Brains constantly fighting 1 is rational and the is irrational

Plz someone help I'm dying inside I can't even focus on my exams

I previously had an ocd themes when I was 10 years old I was somehow obsessed with rubbing my hand on doorknobs and always checking the locks more then a dozen of times, I had minor scrupulosity the worst thing was when I was asleep I had the urge to count something I thought I was crazy because I was so young I had no idea what ocd even was I thought my ocd went but it turns out it just went asleep I no longer obsess about touching and counting but now it's hocd

I so feel you. It makes sense that you simply can’t ‘stop’ obsessing- we wouldn’t have ocd if we could just ‘stop’, right? That used to happen a lot to me too, the second I woke up, and I used to think that meant something. Until I realized that *thinking* something, has no true purpose. No deeper meaning. Because of how you’ve reacted to the thoughts, your brain has tagged them as *dangerous, needs assessing*, so of course they will be thrown at you to figure out the second you wake up. You’ve convinced your brain that they are something to be afraid of. Beating ocd involves changing your relationship with your thoughts. Thoughts by themselves are just action potentials, neural noise, and by products of being alive. They don’t have a deep rooted meaning. Ocd recovery looks like identifying thoughts for what they are, letting them be there (cause you can’t fight your thoughts), and then moving towards everything you want for yourself in your life. I hope your appointment tomorrow is everything you need! Thinking of you!!

*Sorry, realized I should clarify that an action potential is what happens when a neuron in your brain fires. No big abstract idea- just science:)

You're afraid you will go to hell if you're a lesbian? So God's intention was to make you lesbian so you can go to hell? Anyway, just accept who you are. If you're a lesbian then that's the way it is. If you're not, you're not. Most important thing to do in this world is to accept yourself, to love yourself. Don't let anyone think you shouldn't. Stop looking into the whole lesbian thing. Don't read about it, don't look for it. Just focus on your life. Do things you love.

It's sooo irrational I can't imagine myself making out with a girl though

You're still looking into it... :-)

What's that supposed to mean

That just made me spike

Lina- that doesn’t have any meaning at all. He should honestly delete that comment. I don’t want to be repetitive, but just try to focus on my comment before!

Seems my words have a big impact on you. What i meant with "looking into it" is a compulsion that one should avoid doing as much as possible. The more you act under compulsions the more intense the obsession will be. My goal is to set her free from her obsession.

Yes I understand

I should delete my comment? She should focus on your comment?

Don’t fight with the irrational one. That gives it importance. By arguing with it, you are giving it some ounce of truth that you then have to deny. It’s not something that needs to be denied because it has no real basis. You need to treat your obsessions like nagging, repetitive children that you just say ‘yes okay sure’ too, not because it has any truth, but because you want it to be quiet. Indifference is ocd’s kryptonite.

She can decide for herself.

And what about the people that have obsessional thoughts about being pedophiles? Or about their relationship? Should we all listen to our thoughts and change our lives depending on what they say? Listen, I don’t mean to be rude at all and I understand where you are coming from. But as I’m sure that you know, ocd is a deceptive monster. Bartering with it, acting like it has truth to our lives, is what keeps us in a repetitive loop for forever. We need to treat these thoughts and obsessions correctly for them to subside. Indifference to the uncertainty it causes. Hope you are well though!❤️

I’m so sorry!:/ I have a very similar story, but with things like body symmetry! Also had sexually intrusive thoughts that I didn’t know had anything to do with a disorder. I just thought I was ‘troubled’. Sad for my younger self, I was so scared:(

Actually you do not understand where I'm coming from. OCD is often if not always the cause of (read: its development) unhealthy conditions, circumstances. The lower quality of life is, the harder it will be to deal with obsessions. So i always advice people to make changes that contribute to the quality of their lives.

What changes

Lina, I had the same years ago, having thoughts of being gay or having those instincts. Those were totally not true (5 years passed already and im still not gay :) Once I heard one psychiatrist explained the situation “mostly these ocd sufferers’ brain tries to hit them from the most valuable concepts they believe” It sounded very logical and real to me. Probably, you are a person who values to be a woman very much. And thats very nice of you. Another thing is, probably you are in stressful these days because of exams and etc. And your mind tries to find an escape from this situation. Thats why hitting you back. So, most important thing you should do is to give time to yourself, slowly try to heal and relax. OCS tries to tell you, find other things in your daily life to relax your mind. Dont think too complex, be simple.

Tommrow I'm going to a cbt therapist we'll see what happens I just feel numb

But when I wake up I feel soo anxious since the moment I open my eyes thats all I think about