- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m sorry- ocd is an entire disorder of ‘looking into’ things. That doesn’t mean a single thing. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what pedophiles think, aren’t pedophiles. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what failing relationships look like, usually are not in any relationship trouble at all. People with ocd who ‘look into’ what transgender people go through, are not themselves transgender. This is a disorder of ‘looking into’ things because we have attached a 100-pound weight onto random passing thoughts that has the label ‘truth’ on it. Note- the thought itself has no truth label, it’s the extremely heavy block of cement that we put there that has the label. We can work to detach the weight from the thoughts and be free, but not with suggestions from other people that ‘looking into’ something has ANY deeper meaning. Be careful what you are insinuating to very vulnerable people on this app.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes thankyou I understand it's just so confusing its like I have 2 Brains constantly fighting 1 is rational and the is irrational
- Date posted
- 6y
Plz someone help I'm dying inside I can't even focus on my exams
- Date posted
- 6y
I previously had an ocd themes when I was 10 years old I was somehow obsessed with rubbing my hand on doorknobs and always checking the locks more then a dozen of times, I had minor scrupulosity the worst thing was when I was asleep I had the urge to count something I thought I was crazy because I was so young I had no idea what ocd even was I thought my ocd went but it turns out it just went asleep I no longer obsess about touching and counting but now it's hocd
- Date posted
- 6y
I so feel you. It makes sense that you simply can’t ‘stop’ obsessing- we wouldn’t have ocd if we could just ‘stop’, right? That used to happen a lot to me too, the second I woke up, and I used to think that meant something. Until I realized that *thinking* something, has no true purpose. No deeper meaning. Because of how you’ve reacted to the thoughts, your brain has tagged them as *dangerous, needs assessing*, so of course they will be thrown at you to figure out the second you wake up. You’ve convinced your brain that they are something to be afraid of. Beating ocd involves changing your relationship with your thoughts. Thoughts by themselves are just action potentials, neural noise, and by products of being alive. They don’t have a deep rooted meaning. Ocd recovery looks like identifying thoughts for what they are, letting them be there (cause you can’t fight your thoughts), and then moving towards everything you want for yourself in your life. I hope your appointment tomorrow is everything you need! Thinking of you!!
- Date posted
- 6y
*Sorry, realized I should clarify that an action potential is what happens when a neuron in your brain fires. No big abstract idea- just science:)
- Date posted
- 6y
You're afraid you will go to hell if you're a lesbian? So God's intention was to make you lesbian so you can go to hell? Anyway, just accept who you are. If you're a lesbian then that's the way it is. If you're not, you're not. Most important thing to do in this world is to accept yourself, to love yourself. Don't let anyone think you shouldn't. Stop looking into the whole lesbian thing. Don't read about it, don't look for it. Just focus on your life. Do things you love.
- Date posted
- 6y
It's sooo irrational I can't imagine myself making out with a girl though
- Date posted
- 6y
You're still looking into it... :-)
- Date posted
- 6y
What's that supposed to mean
- Date posted
- 6y
That just made me spike
- Date posted
- 6y
Lina- that doesn’t have any meaning at all. He should honestly delete that comment. I don’t want to be repetitive, but just try to focus on my comment before!
- Date posted
- 6y
Seems my words have a big impact on you. What i meant with "looking into it" is a compulsion that one should avoid doing as much as possible. The more you act under compulsions the more intense the obsession will be. My goal is to set her free from her obsession.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I understand
- Date posted
- 6y
I should delete my comment? She should focus on your comment?
- Date posted
- 6y
Don’t fight with the irrational one. That gives it importance. By arguing with it, you are giving it some ounce of truth that you then have to deny. It’s not something that needs to be denied because it has no real basis. You need to treat your obsessions like nagging, repetitive children that you just say ‘yes okay sure’ too, not because it has any truth, but because you want it to be quiet. Indifference is ocd’s kryptonite.
- Date posted
- 6y
She can decide for herself.
- Date posted
- 6y
And what about the people that have obsessional thoughts about being pedophiles? Or about their relationship? Should we all listen to our thoughts and change our lives depending on what they say? Listen, I don’t mean to be rude at all and I understand where you are coming from. But as I’m sure that you know, ocd is a deceptive monster. Bartering with it, acting like it has truth to our lives, is what keeps us in a repetitive loop for forever. We need to treat these thoughts and obsessions correctly for them to subside. Indifference to the uncertainty it causes. Hope you are well though!❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry!:/ I have a very similar story, but with things like body symmetry! Also had sexually intrusive thoughts that I didn’t know had anything to do with a disorder. I just thought I was ‘troubled’. Sad for my younger self, I was so scared:(
- Date posted
- 6y
Actually you do not understand where I'm coming from. OCD is often if not always the cause of (read: its development) unhealthy conditions, circumstances. The lower quality of life is, the harder it will be to deal with obsessions. So i always advice people to make changes that contribute to the quality of their lives.
- Date posted
- 6y
What changes
- Date posted
- 6y
Lina, I had the same years ago, having thoughts of being gay or having those instincts. Those were totally not true (5 years passed already and im still not gay :) Once I heard one psychiatrist explained the situation “mostly these ocd sufferers’ brain tries to hit them from the most valuable concepts they believe” It sounded very logical and real to me. Probably, you are a person who values to be a woman very much. And thats very nice of you. Another thing is, probably you are in stressful these days because of exams and etc. And your mind tries to find an escape from this situation. Thats why hitting you back. So, most important thing you should do is to give time to yourself, slowly try to heal and relax. OCS tries to tell you, find other things in your daily life to relax your mind. Dont think too complex, be simple.
- Date posted
- 6y
Tommrow I'm going to a cbt therapist we'll see what happens I just feel numb
- Date posted
- 6y
But when I wake up I feel soo anxious since the moment I open my eyes thats all I think about
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
- Date posted
- 23w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 21w
First I want to start off with, as a kid, my brother touched me inappropriately, I watched him do the same with my cousin, than later on I did the same to my cousin. I feel great shame for it and I have yet to forgive myself. Now, since than 10 years later, I have always loved women, fantasized about women, constantly prayed to have one and do things to be with one 1 day. I struggled with porn a lot as a kid because I was shown it at such a young age. I remember first watching lesbian porn, than moving to guy and girl, than countdowns, etc. I was so hooked that it took an identity crisis to end this porn addiction. (I have only been sober for 3 weeks.) Now I only mention this because I think my porn addiction somewhat ruined me, same way as what I did in the past did. A year ago, I started to talk to a childhood crush I had, and things felt so great. We started to get along but I knew all I wanted to do was have sex and move on as wrong as that is. I ended up falling in love with her and asked her to be my girl. 9 months in, we were having constant arguments and she had this problem where she couldn’t give me a break. We were with each other 24/7 and it felt like dealing with a sister at some point. I remember talking to my friends and asking them what would they do and they always advised me to leave but I was not willing to because I knew I loved her and the way I was feeling was temporary and couples argue. Couple weeks in, I started to have these thoughts that we weren’t going to work out and that I no longer found her attractive. I kinda ignored them because it simply wasn’t true, I still found her attractive and would get hard ons for her yet, I still had this mindset that, “Oh, there’s other hotter girls” and, “Your ex looked so much better.” and I couldn’t stop these thoughts. One day I randomly woke up and remembered what I did as a kid, my whole world felt like it flipped. The thoughts were now, “what if you don’t like her because you’re secretly gay?”. I first laughed at the thought because of how ridiculous it sounded, but than it just kept going. Two weeks from a cycle of unwanted thoughts (1st stage of my ocd), I finally got over the thought with simple toughness and determination, I did lots of research on what was going on with me and went with the, “thoughts are just thoughts” method. I was doing well until we watch a netflix documentary “American Murder: Gabby Petito” and all of a sudden my mind began to think, “What if I’m secretly a psychopath and want to kill my gf?”. For about a week straight, It’s all I was able to think about. It scared me so much and I didn’t know what to do. I started to get urges to KILL my gf. I didn’t know what to do so I left the room and crawled up in a ball, crying to god asking for help.These thoughts went away but were quickly replaced by, “You want to kill your gf because you’re just gay”. This sent me into such great panic, I couldn’t eat for days and couldn’t feel anything but anxiety. Days went by and I finally went to a doctor, at first I started to feel better as If I was getting help and things were going to be okay. The thoughts went away again as I began to start doing more things and get out of my room (head). I felt like I was back again, I was able to love my gf, I started to go to church, I felt that god was real and than boom. Here I am again and this time things have gotten really bad. I can’t stop “checking”. As soon as I wake up I check if my gf is “good” enough for me. I check my past and see if I have ever done anything that show signs of being gay. I check out other girls and guys to see whether or not I like one or the other. Even when I accepted the possibility that maybe I am just gay, my mind will fight me and tell me that I’m more than just gay. Truth is, I don’t know anymore. I’ve always loved girls and my gf. I don’t know if this is OCD anymore but I wish for my old life again. I’ve always been so proud of my sexuality and loved everything about it. I never been homophobic but gay stuff does make me uncomfortable. Each day feels like I lost another part of me. I feel like I can’t live like this anymore. I lost all my belief in god, my morals and value feel so weak, and my life is no longer a fun enjoyable thing to look forward to. I need help.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond