Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Why does SO-OCD feel so real?

It all started two months ago when I was making scenarios in my head to fall asleep.. i was imagining myself kissing a man and then it turned into a woman. The moment that happened, I opened my eyes and panicked.. it was complete panic, i started sweating, crying and I couldn’t function anymore. I started asking myself “am i gay”, “i have to come out to my boyfriend”, “i have to come out to everyone”, it was all within the span of 10 minutes… soooo overwhelming!! My mind acted as if I was gay, I lost my sense of identity, I couldn’t even trust myself anymore even when I reassured myself. It was such an awful cycle, to look at any person, a man to make sure i was straight, and a woman to make sure I wasn’t gay… i feel ashamed saying this. If i looked at a woman a certain way, like oh she’s pretty, my mind would say yes u see ur gay. After two months, I imagine any interest with a female stranger as a confirmation of being gay, I’m so nervous all the time, i start sweating and checking for groinal responses (the worst is when the response happens).. i cant afford a session with a therapist now, and i keep saying that i dont have OCD, im in denial, and that one day ill be gay. Can someone offer some insight on wether this sounds like OCD?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: jzepedaa7jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y ago

Since you don’t know much I will answer / pretty much the cycle starts when you have a thought and you think of it as more then a thought . For example someone without ocd would have that thought and not question it . But with ocd when you have that thought you go through 1,000s of question like why did I have that thought ? Does that mean I’m gay ? But I used to be straight …? Why am I having gay thoughts is I’m straight ? And etc and etc . You are just stuck ina OCD loop yes it feels real as can be and your mind will try to find attraction in pretty much anyone of the same sex to scare you and make you question yourself more . The way to get out of the loop is just accept the thoughts don’t question them even agree with them . It’ll take away the power from them little by little .

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

It’s okay to think that a man is handsome doesn’t make you gay or anything. That’s why we have to train the Brain. Don’t let the Brain fool you it tends trust.

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

You are not the Brain.

Username: Rusan3122Rusan3122

Date posted: 2y ago

Hm , yea , you're right , today I will start joking and erp , I thibk one of the best îs to White my tought x100 times on a piper, it's preety g ood

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Interaction* not interest sorry!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you!!

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

Yeah it’s ocd. If you fear, feel disgust and anxiety stuff it’s a high chance to be ocd. It’s the doubting disorder. So erp is good. And for me I’m about 4 months in and I have been better Forsure. I couldn’t look at the same sex. I’m straight. So this is really because you feel like crap and in denial. But reality you are not. When this happened I was so close of telling and coming out to my parents because I thought it was me but like. I said to myself I’m bisexual or gay it just didn’t sit right with me. So I’m not. The Brain is malfunctioning so it’s out to rewire and get I back on track. Right now the best way for me right now is to humor them. Since you are a girl you can say yeah imma her her butt or something dumb bad just laugh it off. It may feel scary but it will get easy over time. Trust. Because this in may for me and I wasn’t to go out, play soccer, the gym parties in which something I love it was ruined. Slowly I’m getting back into it. I always maybe I am maybe I’m not. Also I have been sleeping way better I wasn’t sleep at all because I freaked that I didn’t want to be gay. Felt fear and pain it’s crazy. Hang in there this will subside for us and do not avoid !

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

@GSR I’m a guy so the best way for is humor the thoughts like I said and it’s tough because I hate lol we got this though!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@GSR You’re so kind! I’m sorry you went through that, I haven’t been sleeping well, the thoughts have gotten to my dreams :/// but yeah I used to work out a lot and the gym was the best environment for me and im going back into the routine!! But like I used to love building friendships with women, now instead I’m always taken aback by any type of conversation and i seem cold and rude. when I convince myself its okay to be myself with women strangers and that its just intrusive thoughts, i always end up analyzing the conversation later on for any signs of being gay i guess???

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Yeah of course no problem. Try not be hard yourself it takes time I know one we are going to look back and be like damn I thought of that lol laugh it off. This really destroyed my confidence with women. Before I was a chatter box I loved engaging and help others and getting to know them making those connections I’m a communicaton major it really sucks but I’m not giving up don’t ever give I have always overcame anything. Also remember to treat this as ocd

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Nothing else. That’s it. But keep doing exposures atleast 8 hours a day or somthing because only and hour it’s going to help or may but always try to do a lot.

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Also yeah the ocd thoughts may end up in dreams doesn’t mean anything. Just ignore them. It’s all the stress through out the day. It sucks man I’m glad that I’m not alone because I thought I was lol

Username: Rusan3122Rusan3122

Date posted: 2y ago

But what if you don't feel disgust at all , i'm at a point where I feel attracted almost all the time and don't feel fear oe disgust , this thing is very annoing , I just want myself back man

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

@Rusan3122 Don’t be alarmed look. It’s okay be attracted to Man because human nature admiring what nature done to that man or women. Either or. Take Chris evans he a handsome actor right we admire because for us guys we wanna be like him we are basically competitors for the ladies lol hahaha don’t be alarmed I also get alarmed somtimes it’s scary at times al remember why you started and have howl that it will subside one day.

Username: Rusan3122Rusan3122

Date posted: 2y ago

@GSR So , it's just ocd playing games again? This thing îs the best fk player I ever seen right now

Username: GSRGSR

Date posted: 2y ago

@Rusan3122 Yes but don’t use as reassurance. Ocd will attack

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Rusan3122 Ocd can try to trick ur brain into thinking ur attracted!!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@GSR You’re definitely not alone :) if u ever need to talK I’m here!!! We got this bro :)

Username: jzepedaa7jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y ago

@GSR You can pretty much do exposures all day by agreeing / sitting with The thoughts

Username: Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y ago

HOCD, ROCD and TOCD . . . So my OCD recently all began with ROCD, I felt guilty all the time with my boyfriend, I wanted to stay with him so bad and I love him so much but my anxiety kept telling me to leave and that something wasn't right, that I'm going to be alone forever. Then my HOCD came up, "something doesn't seem right, what if you're actually gay?" and I struggled with this for about 2-3 months. After accepting that even if I am gay, I'm staying with my boyfriend.. The theme of being a transgender came up. That was the absolute worst of them all. It was at a time my anxiety was at its Peak so I was feeling disassociated and my mind just tried to explain that feeling as "you're in the wrong body". I was thoroughly convinced I was a man in a girls body for a solid 3 weeks, I woke up and that was the first thing on my mind "your a man and now youre going to lose your boyfriend, your life and everything that makes you, you." I didn't want to be a man, but my mind was saying "too bad, you are". I eventually went to therapy for this feeling, (they didn't diagnose me with OCD so they weren't treating me as an OCD patient) the thoughts eventually went away but now I'm back on my HOCD. Ive now thorougly convinced myself that I'm gay and will be with a woman for the rest of my life. I don't want to be and this thought scares me. I want to be with my boyfriend, not a woman. But my mind is saying "too bad, just accept that your a lesbian, you're in denial, just come out" but I don't want to be a lesbian ? can anyone relate to the feeling of convincing yourself to the point where you believe it?

Username: gp

Date posted: 1y ago

How to stop believing the narrative SOOCD creates?

Question - my mind uses any trigger to prove I am gay. My mind kind of auto defaults to the ‘worst case scenario’. I’m kind of stuck in this mindset that I ‘believe it’, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be suffering from the ongoing anxiety. Do others have a similar feeling? Concern? Experience? I’ve been battling what I think is SOOCD since I was about 25/26. Literally overnight it felt like my brain broke. Infatuated by a new GF, woke up. Had the thought “you feel nothing for her”. Obsessive worry, figuring out why. Led to “you are gay”. I’ve been diagnosed twice by two seperate therapists, but as we know, it’s hard to believe you have ocd. Ultimately, I’ve never thought of men in a romantic way until my brain broke. I still don’t think I do, but I can’t stop being sick with anxiety that I have changed or that I’m lying to myself?

Username: gp

Date posted: 50w ago

SOOCD - real or not?

I’m in a really bad panic at the moment re my ocd. I’m trying so hard to accept the thoughts/feelings and accept how real and true it all feels, despite the panic and anxiety. I read somewhere that you can clearly tell the difference between a thought about your sexuality being true vs an ocd thought. It said if the thoughts/feelings/narrative makes you feel panic, anxiety and dread, like you don’t want the thoughts, then it’s ocd. If they make you feel warm, content and normal, then they’re likely not ocd. Is that how people and psychologists differentiate? My situation is that I’m a 36 year old male that never questioned or had to question my sexuality until one day at 26, I had the question pop up “are you gay”. Since then, it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore. Questioning, checking, anxious 24/7, wanting to escape myself. Help :(

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