SCARED

I just had a very very gruesome intrusive thought that I don’t even want to repeat. And I feel like I’m in a dream state of mind and that i don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m sooo sooo scared that I’m just gonna go off and do what my thought says. Like i feel so weird. I’m not hallucinating or seeing things or anything but i just don’t feel like me. My head feels heavy i feel weird and now I’m scared that what if it’s not ocd and i end up doing something seriously wrong. What if i secretly like my thoughts? What if I’m not me? What if i do something bad? Please help. Any advice would be great. Am i truly going crazy? I don’t know what’s going on

IwillconcureOCD

Date posted: 2y

I hear you! First of all your not crazy. Everyone has intrusive thoughts and there’s nothing wrong with having intrusive thoughts, just how your dealing with them. Sit with the thought, even though the thought is uncomfortable and feels heavy sit with it. Do you need those what ifs? Maybe say something like ‘I hear you thought, but I don’t care, thank you brain for keeping me safe’.

Anon17

Date posted: 2y

@Embraceuncertainty2022 Thanks so much this makes me feel a lot better. But i guess it’s not just the thought that scares me it’s the way i feel as well. Like i do have anxiety and i don’t think i have had a full blown anxiety attack but can it cause you to feel like not you if you know what i mean. Like somebody else’s mind is in your body. Is this ocd as well?

Schroder

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

That's ocd for ya, the doubting disorder, just remember it challenges everything you know in your mind to not be real, the intense urges and intrusive thoughts are all part of ocd, this disorder loves to make us question everything and make us feel like were weaker then we are. I'd definitely get set up with a therapist that can help you with erp and get yourself back to where you feel in control, but trust me when I say you're not alone at all ☺️

Anon17

Date posted: 2y

@Schroder It’s makes me feel a lot better that I’m not alone but as the same time it still does like i keep telling myself there is no way Anyone else feels this way. I just get so scared. Especially with the new Dahmer series on Netflix. I keep seeing it all over the place and i cannot get it out of my Mind. And my worst fear is just ending up like that

IwillconcureOCD

Date posted: 2y

I have felt the same when I have had intrusive thoughts. After all, your body parts talk to one another. If your brain is scared, naturally your whole body will feel scared. But yeah sit with the intrusive thought but don’t engage with it. By doing what if’s and seeking reassurance your feeding the thought which will make it live longer.

Anon17

Date posted: 2y

@Embraceuncertainty2022 Thank you. I guess my biggest problem right now is dealing with the sensations or the way I am feeling. And it’s really hard for me to sit with my thoughts because my thoughts lately have been really bad especially with the new Dahmer show being released it feels like my brain just cannot escape the thought of the show or what he did and i just don’t want to end up like that. That’s why it’s so hard for me to sit with my thoughts because i feel like if i sit with them then that means i want them. And that’s my biggest problem right now :(

You got this:)

Date posted: 2y

@Anon17 Exactly how I feel to the T! The dahmer part and all. I just have to keep reminding myself they are just thoughts if you need anyone to talk to please message me I’m happy to talk to someone who gets it!

Anon17

Date posted: 2y

@kfarley23 Will do thank you thanks so much!

alyssa_h

Date posted: 25w

i can’t do this much longer

i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 24w

i’m really worried

so i start therapy tomorrow. but bro it’s just getting worse and im so scared. like the thoughts are getting more frequent and i genuinely feel evil and i hate it. i keep thinking what if i do it and im scared im eventually gonna. i’m scared i give off a creepy vibe or im lying to myself or others. please tell me is this ocd? do i need to be actually worried? i’m really freaking out

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 22w

Scared, feel like I liked thought

Guys I feel a bit bothered. I fear I liked a thought bc my sister was showing me this video about a robbery and right before she was going to show me I was thinking "no... tsk this is not what I want to see. Dont think of anything." But i had to watch bc my sister was already playing the video. I tried to not pay as much attention. I hate watching videos that have stuff related to harm bc ocd loves to latch on. I got so many thoughts. But when I saw the person pull out a weapon and the cashier jump extremely high, I felt like laughing??? But not bc of what was going on but bc "why did he jump like that? It was so high! You know what? I would've jumped liked this too. That's scary!" And then I felt angry for the cashier bc why do evil people commit such things? How the heck? But ocd says i laughed bc I felt a sense of superiority and liked seeing people scared and want to feel a distorted sense of power. Like.. no? I knew I felt like laughing bc I didn't expect him to jump so high and I wanted to point it out but decided not to bc the video is serious, and it's not a movie. But I feel kinda guilty like why tf did I feel like laughing. I didn't even smile or actually laugh irl but it's bothering me. Then my sister showed me some other video and explained a specific weapon and I kept getting thoughts like "ohhh i want that! I wanna scare people too! I want to test the thoughts to double check if i actually like them" And it gave me an image of me doing something crazy like robbing a store as well! AND IT FELT REAL! I WASNT EVEN WANTING TO THINK THIS! Im worried this means its real or that i enjoyed the thought and fantasized, but at the same time ik im not actually interested nor do I have plans but what if I WANTED to for those few seconds?! Bc why did it FEEL like I enjoyed it??? I know I wouldn't, i dont have plans to nor do i want to think about making plans and I'm genuinely not interested but WHAT IF??? Did i enjoy this thought?! It felt like I wanted to bc I didn't immediately reject it like usual and for some reason felt "happy" (i didnt smile or anything but it FELT like i was happy???) Literally right after the thought came i was thinking to myself "OMG is that true?" And couldn't focus on anything else! How do I know I didnt genuinely enjoy and dont have some weird sense of power??? It's been bothering me so much, this happened a couple hours ago and I managed to fall asleep in the middle of my compulsion of mentally reviewing how I reacted to my thoughts.

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