how do i know my hocd thoughts aren’t real. i don’t want to be gay, i love my boyfriend it’s just i can’t help but worry for some reason. i genuinely don’t understand it and it’s scary.
did you lose feelings for boyfriend when you found about hocd? did hocd hide feelings for your bf?
@mrgg11 i have rocd too so i do worry about my feelings. but i want nothing other than to be with him
@herestogettingbetter That right there goes to show that you have a problem !
@It Is I ! what do you mean
@herestogettingbetter If you love your bf and these weird thoughts just popped up in your head that goes to show you that in goes against your morals
Hey! Well, ocd latches into what is important to you, it always does, no matter what subtype you’re dealing with. If your relationship is important, it will latch onto that. It’s not a mystery how ocd works! There’s no way to prove that your thoughts are real or not, not because they can be real, but because ocd will make you doubt about it minutes or days later. So you need to understand that your brain is popping up those images, urges, and feelings because it wants to protect you from something, and it will make it feel very real in order to make you ask for reassurance, or avoid certain situations, or whatever compulsions you may have. It’s just your brain making thoughts feel real so you can react and protect yourself. But you said it, there’s nothing else you want more to be with your boyfriend, so why are you paying attention to those thoughts? First, because you are experiencing a really hard disorder which it’s of course not your fault, and second because the brain knows you’re relationship is really important to you so it will send this threats in order to make you protect it. You just need to teach your brain that there’s no need to do that, by disregarding everytime the thoughts appear, by saying oh ok, it’s my brain again trying to convince me to do some compulsion and be safe. Stay strong!
@danielwarwick thank you so much! is there any phrase even you will tell yourself in your head when you have intrusive thoughts?
@danielwarwick Well said friend
@herestogettingbetter You’re welcome! Well, lately I’ve been asked by my therapist to “be brave”, in order to not do compulsions and to resist anxiety. This was really difficult for me, as I had extreme anxiety 24/7. What I did so, was to ask myself “what it is to be brave in this exact moment?”. It changes all the time. When I wake up and I don’t find the energy to deal with my intrusive thoughts, I said to myself “to be brave in this moment is to get up from bed and start my day”. Sometimes when I’m with people I say “to be brave in this moment, it’s to be present in this conversation.” When I feel the urge to do a compulsion, i say “to be brave in this moment, is to not do this compulsion”. It’s not magic anyway, but it has helped my anxiety to lower. Also when I’m ruminating I say “to be brave in this moment, is to think in something else”. Well I don’t know of it’s uselful for you, and of course you don’t have to create a compulsion with this “mantra”. But for me has helped me a lot to go through the day, one thing at a time. Sometimes I fail, anyway, and I do a compulsion, even if I know it’s not the brave thing to do haha But I try my best everyday. Hope it helps you!
@danielwarwick thank you again! i think it’s just a little hard because i’m also not talking to a specialist so i’ll look online for tips but i think that becomes a compulsion too, i’m sure i’ll figure out what will be able to quiet my brain down
straight girl suffering from hocd, okay so when i was younger i looked at like a girl corn star insta for like 2 weeks and like did get aroused by it, didn’t think much of it still fancied boys, girls were like ew no to me, but its triggering my hocd so badly, like is it normal that i could look at a sexy pic of a girl n get aroused by it, but like a shirtless pic of a boy i wouldn’t, however i have insane attraction to men irl, i love my boyfriend, i love the idea of being with a man and hate the idea of being with a woman, this really freaking me out!
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
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