seasonal depression and tocd

hey all. tocd was my first really severe theme and is what pushed me into getting my diagnosis. never thought i’d have to deal with it again but as the seasons change and it’s starting to get colder, i can feel it coming back. it’s making me so miserable. i hate feeling like this. i hate winter. how can i stay positive? any tips on dealing with a relapse in tocd specifically? i feel like i’m my old self again and i hate it. i thought i’d get over this and now i feel so scared and hopeless. i don’t want to be trans but i feel so scared that it’s an inevitability.