I don’t know what to do

What should I do? I already talked to my mom and we worked it out, but OCD won't leave it alone. Here is the situation: OCD is ruining my relationship with my family. Along with my porn addiction, I can't see innocent interactions without malice or wondering if it's appropriate. My mom and sister always had this game of slapping each other's butts, and I always found it funny, but these days I have been feeling uncomfortable about it and asked them to stop. My OCD is trying to convince me that my mom has said me, because one time she said that if she were a boy, she would date me and one time she just blurted out "marry me" I told her I hated that, she apologized and said she didn't mean it and never did it again. A lot of the things she said these days I wonder if they're appropriate, like commenting on my body, it was things like "Your butt is smaller", because I lost a lot of weight. And these days she was talking to my sister and she said that her breasts are growing and my sister was like "I know😝😝" and she poked the side of her breasts and they just laughed. I asked them about it and my sister says that she sees no problem at all. I remember that when I started puberty, my mom would ask to touch my breasts, she never actually touched, but she was afraid cuz when she was in puberty she said her breasts hurt a lot, and she was always like "You are growing so much, they are cute." And I would get sad cuz mine's weren't big as hers. I am spiraling and my mom is the most sweet person in the world, she supports me in EVERYTHING and has always taught me to set boundaries and stand up for myself, she always respected my boundaries and talked to me about delicate things and I always felt comfortable to walk around naked or ask her ANYTHING. But remembering these things are making me question her behavior, when I know she did not mean harm and I notice that 89% of every mom I met, are like her, she is probably like that because that's how she was created, and Honestly, if she did not mean any harm then everything is fine. As I said I didn't felt uncomfortable, but OCD is like "You should feel uncomfortable because that is inappropriate behavior." It's just that I didn't care for those things I even once asked to touch my mother's breasts when I was younger cuz hers were so different and I was like "What?!?!? why are we different?" and she was like "ok" and I stopped to think that I literally used to breastfeed on them and I was " 😮😮" like, I feel bad nowdays but I was curious, and my mom just said "It's okay, but If you did it out of malice then it would be wrong and I would be uncomfy." Now OCD is making me not want to be near my mom when she literally respects my boundaries, I said I didn't want her to do these things again and she agreed without even a second thought.

This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.

there’s currently tension between the members of my family and it’s not only making me stressed, but it’s giving me really bad anxiety. the situation that’s happening is the byproduct of feelings being held in for years on end finally coming out. the situation doesn’t really have to do with me directly but more indirectly. it’s more so between my brother and my mom. and i’m really close with both. i also am home when i’m not at college. anyways, the issue is my harm ocd is latching onto it. lately, if i don’t like someone’s personality or they do something wrong, my harm ocd will latch onto that. this situation it happens to be my mom. but it’s also been my mom for a little bit now because she has faults that she refuses to acknowledge. my ocd is making me believe i hate my mom and so on. and i don’t hate my mom, but there are times where i really dislike her and how she handles situations, like this one. but i hate being at college more than i would hate to go home and i always love being home. it’s just this situation is making my harm ocd not great, making me not want to go home. furthermore, my contamination ocd gets triggered because of my harm ocd as i get nauseous so then i spiral. anyways, i apologize for rambling but i just need either some words of advice or support if anyone wouldn’t mind :)