Feeling Alone And Tired

I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.

Username: thrutheweatherthrutheweather

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that. You’re definitely not a psychopath! - you’re not alone either even though it feels like that sometimes. I hope you meet/connect with people who are more understanding of what you’re going through. A lot of people sadly don’t understand OCD… please keep your head up and don’t let this block you from getting help. You deserve help.

Username: Mau NLMau NL

Date posted: 2y ago

So sorry that you had to go through this, and so brave that you opened up, here and "at home". Not many people understand ocd. That is a shame but it is as it is. You are the opposite of a psychopath: somebody who cares so much that your brain is in warning-signal-overdrive about what you would find most devastating: others, and/or animals being hurt and in pain. We know that. Hopefully that gives you some relief. In the Netherlands, where i live, there are ways to let your close ones be educated by ocd specialists, through contact via websites or by a (your) therapist. If it is really important to you that this person in your network goes back again to liking you for who you are, you might want to investigate if such possibilities are also available where you live. Take care, big hug!

Username: EnyaEnya

Date posted: 2y ago

I had been through that, too. Over 10 years ago, a partner left me after I told him about me suffering from POCD. He told me, that he doesn't believe it's OCD. It was hard and it caused me barely telling anyone about my POCD. Recently my best friend found out about it. I talked about it in a very cryptic way and after he did research on OCD, he figured it out. He told me a month after he found out, that he is in the know and that nothing has changed for him. As he didn't treat me differently at all, I calmed down and am now glad he knows, sees my intrusions as OCD and doesn't like me less. I am still reluctant to tell others though and might keep it to myself as much as I can, because as you said, suffering from OCD is hard enough, there really is no need for hurtful reactions from people who don't understand and/or don't even try to understand.

Username: EnyaEnya

Date posted: 2y ago

@🐝 I struggle with POCD for 17 years. I never really committed to ERP though. I committed to it a bit in 2013, but not fully and after I left the clinic, I completely started to do compulsions, avoidance and ruminating again. The first time I fully committed to ERP had been last year and it helped tremendously with my Magical Thinking OCD, this time with my outstanding nocd therapist, I want to do ERP for all of my themes.

Username: overocdxoxooverocdxoxo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

this actually just happened to be friday and it took me down for a day of rumination and really sad the feeling was temporary and i had to remind myself that and also remind myself there r a lot of ignorant people in the world with not empathy and honestly alot of people that no or understand or have even heard of ocd and I.T. that day is why i downloaded this app to remind myself i'mm it alone and i've done a lot of work . and also remind myself i should be open about this struggle i've gone through because in reality what i've learned in treatment mayb i can help someone along the way and it's made me very empathetic i hope that helps surround yourself with people who support you this friend is just not educated

Username: Have Some Chocolate 🍫Have Some Ch...

Date posted: 2y ago

Don't feel bad about people's comments and thinking..... The truth is healthy people will NEVER understand Mental illness It's their ignorance for not knowing and understanding things well.... And it's shame that they can't even behave well with the Sufferer There's nothing wrong with you..... And don't feel bad about them..... Let them think whatever they want to think..... You are a Good Human Being...your thoughts can Never define you.. Regardless what ignorant people think....Take Care... Much Love...

Username: Zoë_84

Date posted: 2y ago

Is this OCD?

I read so much on here and then wonder, if most things that bother me are OCD related, or if OCD sufferer's brains just function similarly and that's why we have so much in common. I often wake up and feel horribly alone and overwhelmed by me needing to function on my own. I never had that, when I wasn't alone, so it must be founded in realty a bit at least. But many people live alone and are managing fine, some even choose to live alone. I know I whined about it here before, but I woke up this morning and felt bad again, so I tried to go back to sleep again. As I have to start work soon, I needed to face waking up again and it feels so horrible, to not be able to talk to someone, to hear someone else's voice. I think I mostly write this to not feel that alone anymore... My "friends" told me, that I'll find someone, but honestly, dating while suffering from POCD and ZOCD and many other forms of OCD and anxiety, I feel like a price no one wants. As it went down hill with my ex, I didn't feel like his girl friend that has problems anymore, but as his problem. Sometimes I want to scream at "friends", family and ex partners - "You think I want this? You think I want to live like that? You can go, you can get rid of it by getting rid of me! But I can only get rid of it by getting rid of living! Why aren't you all kinder and more supportive? Why did all of you cut me out, or pretend I don't suffer from mental health issues? I'm more than OCD, I'm also a human being, that has feelings and wants to be loved!" It makes me feel bad and mean, but I want all of the people who mistreated me, because of my OCD to suffer from it for a few months. A full blown bad episode for all of them. I want them to feel it, I want them to understand. I want their annoyed and disrespectful looks turn into - Damn, I get it now, I proud of you for getting up and facing that for most of your life. Rant over. Sorry for ranting, but sometimes anger mixes with sadness and I don't know what to do with it.

Username: zale

Date posted: 1y ago

Isolation

Feeling a little despondent because I had been doing better for a few weeks, making some progress and experiencing less anxiety, but I had a bad flare this past weekend after a stressful week and now I feel like I'm back where I was a month ago and that I'll never get any better than this. I think the worst part is that it feels so isolating. I can't really talk to my friends about it because they don't have OCD and don't understand, and I feel like I'm just burdening them with crazy nonsense and alienating them because they can't relate to anything I talk about anymore. I can't talk to my family because they're tired of having to live with me and fed up with me not making any substantial progress, and me talking about my OCD just makes them angry because it means I haven't been working hard enough to get better and I should be over it by now. It's worse now that I gave them the false hope that I was doing better, but every time I relapse I let them down and they're running out of patience to deal with me. I am an emotional and financial burden to my family and I contribute nothing in return. I can barely leave the house, I'm almost 38 years old and I've never had a real job or any interests outside of my obsessions. My family is pretty much the only thing I have going for me and if I don't get better NOW, my behavior will push them away too. I see people younger than me getting help for OCD and I feel like it's just too late, this disorder is all I'll ever be and I'll never be able to recover and have an identity outside of it. I am seeing a therapist but no matter how much they tell me I'm working hard or making progress, I just can't see it and I'm sure they'll give up on me soon.

Username: MusicDude123

Date posted: 26w ago

Alone

It’s unbelievable how isolating OCD can be. Lately I’ve just been really bumming out and feeling like nobody on this earth knows who I really am. It gets very tiring feeling like you have to act. I’ve put on a happy face for a very long time and it’s just exhausting. I’m thankful that this app exists and is a place where we can all share our thoughts and feelings and be heard. To anyone else out there suffering in silence, my heart goes out to you.

"Pure" OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Feeling Alone And Tired

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community