Staring Too Much

So I've actually suffered with staring at peoples parts a lot before but recently its been wwwaaayyyy too much. I know me fighting it is going to make it feel like I need to do it even more but ugh its so annoying and disgusting. It really feels like I want to stare and mix it with sexual thoughts its so freaking weird and I really don't want to do these things and its to everyone and moreso people younger than me but I just hate how it feels like I want to and sometimes it happens when I don't even realize and its most likely because I'm so focused on trying not to it like slips but ugh it gets annoying. The feeling of me genuinely wanting to you is just so weird :( I work retail and we change where we are stationed and recently me being in the fitting rooms has not been great. We have to take the customers to their fitting room and it isnt doors, its curtains and sometimes they do not close it well :( so when I put the nunber card next to their curtain its like I need to check if the curtain next to it with someone changing is closed and if it is I feel relief. If not its like I want to look and I purposely look and I soon feel disgusted. Its like I'm tricking myself and tricking others. Its like I get that easy peak and I'm faking my guilt so people would feel bad :( Also people seriously need to do a better job at closing the curtains lmao. I seriously don't want to be in the fitting rooms which I actually havent been stationed there in a bit but I know I should not get away. God I wish we had doors just like the other stores. N e ways thats how my day has been. Feeling guilt over my bad habits and felt like I went back to my old life but these things happen. You will have slip ups and relapse and its ok. I cannot fault myself and my mind is probably making it bigger than its supposed to be. How have you guys been ? Anything good happent to you guys today ?

OCDHaver

Date posted: 2y

I have this problem too, it’s caused one of my recent real events, it’s horrible, I know it’s a compulsion and it’s not sexual in any way, but it feels so gross, I used to work retail, that was rough. My heart goes out to you 💜

InkJoy123

Date posted: 2y

@OCDHaver Yeah its created a Real Event too. It just sucks cause it genuinely feels like I want to, like I'm happy to stare or peak to see something and right after its like "wait what am I doing" kind of feeling which makes it even worse :( And then it feels like I'm lying to myself so I can feel bad for myself and play it off as OCD and uugghhh. Does yours feel like this too ? I just feel so alone because a lot of people can feel themselves not want to stare but with me its like I really want to and theres no hint of no wanting to ::((( I just want to shut myself out really. I love working at my job and I honestly have not had it this bad with staring just until recently and it sucks :(

OCDHaver

Date posted: 2y

@InkJoy123 The way you describe is EXACTLY how my staring feels, it’s horrible, and it really does feel like OCD is an excuse. My other staring thing is to serve as checking, like to make sure I didn’t find someone attractive or that I’m normal, I just feel like shit afterwards because I feel so creepy, I try to avoid going out because of it. I’m sorry you’re somatic OCD has gotten bad, I just remind myself that I’m not gonna feel even shittier and more anxious if I do stare as opposed to not staring

anonymous700

Date posted: 2y

People seriously do need to be doing a better job at closing their damn curtains! Lol like hello nobody needs to see you change…anyways, I am the same way! It hasn’t happened recently but when I was younger I used to stare and I would catch myself staring and then I would freak out. I did not know this was common until you posted this. And in some ways I feel less guilty. And I appreciate you for sharing…I also work at a daycare and I hate taking the kids to the potty I HATE IT. Other than that my day has been ehh. A child crapped all over themselves and I had to clean it up 🙃🙃 I hope your Friday is better than today! And I hope you find peace soon

InkJoy123

Date posted: 2y

@anonymous700 props to you for being able to work at a daycare. even if it werent for my ocd i would nneevvverrr !!! so sorry a kid crapped on u too, you really do not deserve that 😵‍💫😵‍💫 and yeah i had it when i was younger but i didnt deal with ocd that badly before so i thought it was a normal in a sense but i knew that i would instantly stare at specific places on people. i even told myself like wow i really only stare at peoples butts huh LMMAAOOO now its like haha now im suffering 🙃 i go back to work friday but i love my job there and i wont let it affect me, its really been my safe space and im prepared this time i just know it, i wont let my day be ruined. hope tomorrow goes well for you too !! and honestly treat yourself !!!

anonymous700

Date posted: 2y

@InkJoy123 Thank you! I really appreciate your response I’m also glad that your job is a safe space and I hope all goes well for you. And you should treat yourself as well!

Em2003

Date posted: 19w

Purposely Picturing Taboo Things?

Am I the only one who experiences this, or is it more common than I think? Sometimes, I find myself imagining what a couple’s sex life might look like, or what a person’s body might be like. I think it’s driven by curiosity, and I focus on it for a few seconds. When it comes to family members, teenagers, or anyone I feel uncomfortable imagining in this way, I used to be able to shake it off as an intrusive thought. But lately, I can’t seem to let go of it anymore. I’ve become used to the anxiety, but I’m stuck questioning what this means about me, especially since I’ve taken time to think about it. This is really stressing me out because I feel like a pervert. I’m hoping that this is something more common than I realize and that OCD is just distorting something. I feel like I really need some insight here. Any advice?

Elliesmith

Date posted: 16w

Read pls

I feel so ridiculous saying this. Has anyone struggled with looking down a people’s private areas since having ocd. I hate it, but feel I have to look or find myself just looking. I feel so guilty after and especially when it’s a women I kinda shudder after like why did I just do that. Ugh I hate this. I never used to have this issue but now I’m focusing on it my anxiety is going crazy with it . If people have experienced, how did you get over this??? My sexual orientation is thriving off this . I hate it

Lulu~

Date posted: 14w

Someone please help me right now

I’m a csa survivor which made me develop hypersexuality while actually being a asexual individual. (Where I did CP and talked to groomers and sexted, ect ect) A few months ago I’ve started to heal, but the fact that I’ve seen so many private parts since I was idk, young? I imagine them everywhere, it’s really frustrating and sometimes I also get intrusive thoughts about other kids or my siblings. It’s deeply distributing but I also kind of think of it from a curious kind of aspect which I despise too. Honestly I have a hard time with any kid in underwear, my intrusive thoughts have been ALOT the last months and they’re really really overwhelming. I also easily go into overanalysing them or even trying to figure out more clearer the thoughts to “test myself”. I think, I hope. Idk it’s scary

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Staring Too Much

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