ROCD

@M In different or the same relationship?

@BetterDaysComing Yes we have been for 6 months made so much improvement but my therapist had to leave her job for nhs and said I needed 8 more weeks therapy but was shocked how far I came but now I am getting better I’m having different thoughts

@Sam38373 Awesome! Glad to hear!

@SydneyLRJ Is erp effective for you?

@BetterDaysComing Yes, very much so. It didn’t get rid of my OCD but makes it was more manageable. :)

You say off and on, has it been through multiple relationships or just one?

@JLG323 It has affected every romantic relationship I have ever been in. I am married now and I still deal with it. It is a part of my marriage but I do my best to not let it control my marriage. :)

@SydneyLRJ It has been over 4 years for me through 2 different relationships. I am married now as well. What are your strategies to not let your rocd win?

@JLG323 I practice ERP everyday and I go to therapy every other week. :) it helps a lot :)

@SydneyLRJ How long have you been married? Did you have it from the start with your husband?

@Anonymous I have been married a year and I have had ROCD from the start with him, even dating. It made my wedding day interesting to say the least, lol. That morning was rough, I was sick to my stomach with anxiety but I still married him. Definitely worth it. :)

@SydneyLRJ Ironically I have been married for a little over a year as well and have had rocd with her since the beginning. My first year of rocd was in my prior relationship which I was in for 4 years. It was the last year that it started and never left.

@SydneyLRJ Are there times when the ROCD is nonexistent, or is it always sorta there in one way or another?

@Anonymous I might have a day or two where is seems nonexistent but I would say that it is sort of always there. Some days I don’t have a reaction to it and those days I feel the most normal. :)

@SydneyLRJ I feel ya…

@SydneyLRJ Are you doing ERP therapy?

@Anonymous Yes, I did therapy with an NOCD therapist for a few months about 3 days a week and was able to finish it successfully. Now I follow up with my regular therapist who also specializes in OCD and panic disorders every other week. He also helps me with other relationship stuff too, not just ocd related stuff. Therapy is key and consistent therapy is the best way to help combat it.

@SydneyLRJ Sorry for all the questions. It’s just nice to talk to someone in a similar situation. Did you have ROCD in prior relationships before you got married?

@Anonymous I understand! :) yes I did, I have had it in every romantic relationship I have ever had.

@SydneyLRJ At what age did it start and do you think you’ve gotten to the root of why you experience it? just curious :)

@M can you expand on how the ROCD destroyed the relationships?

If I may, what makes you believe that you have ROCD versus the relationships simply not working out for you?

@JLG323 Diagnosed multiple times. Clearly OCD is a driver (albeit not the only one).

@Jay Bird My obsessive focus on the past relationship of my partners.

@M Do you have any suggestions or advice you'd be willing to share with me regarding rocd? This is my 2nd relationship I've gone through it with over 4 years and it has been especially difficult since our baby was born in May.

@JLG323 I am Sorry to hear that. I understand, in part at least, what you are experiencing and you should know that you are not alone. Three things have made a difference for me: 1) understanding that there is a small gap of time between the thought (the thought being that which we cannot control) and our reaction/response to the thought (the reaction being what we can control). I have found that reading authors like Frankl, De Mello, Nouwen, and Fox have helped me to become more expert at identifying (awareness) of the thought and finding the gap and then NOT reacting. Happy to provide book titles if interested. 2) Nutrition - based on an N of 1 (me) I believe there is a strong correlation between nutrition/gut health and OCD. I wear a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) which monitors my blood sugar. When I eat in a way that avoids blood sugar spikes I have a noticeable reduction in OCD symptoms. For me, this means following a diet consisting largely of fats and proteins. No added sugar in anything and I minimize carbs except on big workout days (endurance training days). Alos, regarding gut health - personally, I think future research will show that gut health is one of the keys to many mental health challenges. I am studying and trying to focus on improving my gut health. There are companies that will study your gut micro biome and recommend supplements. Again, I want to be clear that this is all based on personal investigation and experimentation (although there is some interesting research that is looking to diet and gut health). 3) Finally, therapy is critical. It is so dang hard but it works. Right now I am in need of therapy but I am so afraid of doing it I can’t seem to make any progress. You gotta force yourself to get it done. Good luck!!

@M I just want to throw in something here. I have a family member studying psychology. She had mentioned to me the correlation with gut health and mental health and how much research is being done. Very interesting. I have a TERRIBLE diet (despite normal weight) and equally as terrible ocd. Interesting…

@BetterDaysComing Very interesting. Thanks for sharing this. I am convinced that “food is medicine” and that there is strong linkage between the health of our guts and mental health. I hope we see more study in this area with a focus on practical steps we can take as people with OCD.

@BetterDaysComing One question: are you willing to describe why you believe your diet is “terrible?” Maybe we can learn something by comparing food choices.

@M When this episode of ocd started, I was so anxious I had no appetite and was getting no more than 300 calories in a day. Well, that’s not sustainable so I decided I would eat anything that I could tolerate. My appetite is now better, but still not good. But I am basically eating fast food daily and still just eating to get by.

@BetterDaysComing I understand. It is so challenging. I am cheering you on (virtually) to keep working on it and to find peace. I actually have the opposite issue - when my OCD is bad I binge eat and overeat. Fortunately, I am able to metabolize that volume of food as I enjoy endurance sports and strength training. Do you exercise? I see a strong correlation between ocd and exercise (I need to work out daily to help moderate my symptoms). It also helps keep my energy and general mental health stable. In terms of diet, try the 80/20 rule. Eat “clean” (healthy) 80% of the time. And allow yourself the grace of the other 20% of the time.🙏 I know it is so hard but I believe there may be some relief in improving your diet given this has been my direct experience. Sending you all kinds of hope!!!

@JLG323 Start with the book titled Awareness by Anthony de Mello. You could also read Eckhart Tolles amazing book titled The Untethered Soul.