reassurance question

when you’re upset at an argument or issue with someone, is it considered the bad kind of reassurance if i keep asking people if they think i did the right thing? something happened last week and im constantly going it over and over in my brain and need people to tell me that i did the right thing. the fact he blocked me makes me anxious and scared that one day he’ll unblock at text so, should i stop asking for reassurance around this situation? it does feel really really good when someone tells me they did the wrong thing (when they did something messed up)

Nica

Date posted: 2y

Yes, that would count as reassurance.

amysmith

Date posted: 2y

@Nica okay. so i’m not sure what to do now because i constantly have been talking about the situation obsessively. and since blocked me there isn’t a certainty he’ll never text again and it bugs me whag shoukd i do???? i feel incredibly better after i talk about it

Nica

Date posted: 2y

@amysmith Just let it be present as you go about your daily routine. The more you do is and fight against anything coming from OCD, the worse it will get. You have to show your brain you TRULY don’t care so it’ll understand whatever is going on with your OCD is not dangerous. When your reptile brain thinks something is dangerous, it’ll keep pestering you to pay attention more and more to it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Yes it sounds like a reassurance compulsion - you’re continually doing it to make your anxiety go away. Speak to your therapist about it, they’re here to help you.

amysmith

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous i don’t get to see her until november 3 i just really really really need to talk about it to her but it’s like this compulsion now where i get scared how i’m a bad person and then i need someone to remind me he did wrong stuff. and i just feel so conflicted and confused. he unintentionally gaslit me (because he’s selfish and was probably trying to use me) and gave me extreme mixed messages. and i feel insane and worried that i’m just going to be lonely forever and that i’m a bad person to commit to i just don’t know what to do while i wait cuz all i wanna do is talk about it because i think about this pretty much the entire day. like 24/7 for about a week

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Breathe 🙏 you’re going to be ok. OCD makes everything urgent and out of proportion. It attaches to what we value most, in this case probably the high value you put on being a good person. Can you sit with the uncomfortable feelings you’re having? Feel where the sensations are in your body, name them, and let the feelings wash through you like waves and they will subside. Try to resist seeking reassurance from anyone and the thoughts will quiet down. Most of all, you are unconditionally loved and enough. Be very kind and compassionate to yourself.

amysmith

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous thank you so much, i will try really hard but i just keep looking out for things like angel numbers and stuff like that. everything all becomes some reassurance type thing and it’s really intense. the second i see triple numbers i search the internet for reasons why and what it means

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@amysmith Those are compulsions dearest, and making it feel worse. You need to resist those urges. Breathe 🙏 Your identity is not OCD, you do not need to buy into the lies your brain is firing at you.

amysmith

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous it’s just really hard because i feel like every single thing i see is either a trigger, an obsession or a compulsion

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@amysmith Yes it is hard, but no one can want healing more for you than you want it for yourself. Start somewhere. Start small.

amysmith

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous i’m not sure how

help213

Date posted: 24w

reassurance seeking

i seek for reassurance a lot. it’s like a always need certainty. how do i stop.

Date posted: 16w

Urge to reassure seek

What did I do if I really want reassurance

Elizabethalb...

Date posted: 14w

Spiraling.

I keep asking for reassurance( which I know I should not do) and when I get the reassurance I want I don’t believe them and I keep asking again and again and again Basically I thought I did something today and my sister was there and I asked her and she said no but I keep asking her because I keep thinking I did this thing. She said she was right there and she saw and nothing happened but I seem to think that maybe she missed something and blah blah blah. My anxiety is even worse now about this topic

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