ruminating

i keep dwelling on the past and the future. next week is my last week of high school but i really really love school. i’m always depressed on the school holidays and i’m about to not have school anymore. if anyone has graduated from highschool or have any tips at all that can ease this. the past: recently i realised i actually made a mistake in a “situationship” of not texting first ever. the future: worried about being depressed and lonely after graduation. also because the guy in the “situationship” said it would be best if we were out of eachother’s lives. i’m going through a big mess. i like the people at my school and i like the teachers. i like the vibe of the school and i like the assignments. as you can see, school is my happy place. i have no friends outside of school and i know that they probably won’t want to be my friend after. please can i have some advice? i’ve been trying hard to look for some advice on other posts and reddit etc but i haven’t found anyone in a position close enough to mine

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

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amysmith

Date posted: 2y

@scenic thank you so much for your response. i just am always depressed in the holidays and love school mroe than the average student (including assignemnts) so i’m just scared that i won’t have an easier experience like others who are happy about leaving. i’m also leaving behind a weird “situationship” with this guy that i’ve been in awe of for nearly 2 years. he decided it was best that we weren’t in eachother’s lives after some mistakes we both made. he did me so wrong but i was really confused what he did and he left and the fact he still has lingering feelings for me make it even harder to leave school in the past. like he blocked me so we have no contact. i just have to leave so much and i’m so scared and alone and depressed i don’t know what to do i can’t see my psychologist until november and i’m just miserable

amysmith

Date posted: 2y

@scenic thank you, i’ve been trying so hard to do what i love but 18 november (graduation) looms closer and closer. i been randomly having anxiety attacks and sickness even when i’m feeling okay. i don’t understand why because i’m starting to feel a little better than from a few weeks ago. i just desperately want to understand the situation better and why he did what he did and messed with my feelings. he literally told me that he’ll make me his and everything within hours of deciding to block me

frankie!!

Date posted: 25w

idk what to do i’m freaking out (afterlife ocd)

i cannot go to therapy cause my parents don’t really “believe” in mental recovery, so i’d like to get some advices. i want these thoughts to leave my mind, i worry whether there is an afterlife or not, actually i believe in a material afterlife even tho i’m not religious but i obsessively think “will i get depressed/bored in a trillion years? will me and my bf break up in a trillion years? i love gifts, but in a trillion years i will have too much objects where do i put them??” and other extremely overwhelming thoughts like “i won’t remember this beautiful memory in a lot of years” and when i need to do something i ask myself "what's the point of this? will i remember this?" this is terrifying and i think about this every single moment with a lot of anxiety seems that a lot of people believe in reincarnation and that name is something you choose for yourself but this means that my mom is not my mom and she didn’t choose my name? please help me it’s difficult to react differently to these thoughts and don’t ruminate, i also have to study and this is so hard..i stayed home from school for 3 days because i was having panic attacks 24/7 and couldn’t study for tests, but i stopped with compulsions 5 days ago (aka searching answers about afterlife on reddit) and i feel like i’m way better, but i still have thoughts i mean, is this ocd? seems like im the only one i can't enjoy happy moments anymore and im scared, i often think that life is useless pointless and unfair, idk how 2 months ago i was able to live my life without thinking about the after..i only took my NOW life into consideration and had intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend..seems so weird to me now what i have to do? some techniques or idk? i never would have thought i would say this, but i miss ROCD, seems like my mental problems/ocd themes in this 3 years are only becoming worse and worse p.s. does drinking chamomile during the day and lemon balm at night help? cause i’m starting to drink this A LOT daily

secretuser

Date posted: 20w

stuck in life

my grades are super bad, my ex moved on, i have no real friends at all, and i feel empty inside. i feel nothing but i feel so many emotions at the same time. i wish i would’ve done better in life. i push people away but then complain about being lonely. me and my ex broke up 8 months ago and i still can’t get over him. he got a girlfriend a week after our breakup and it makes me think about so many things. i’ve talked to guys after that but none of them are the same, i got this feeling with him i got with nobody else and it hurts to know i won’t ever get it back. i feel like im not good or pretty enough for anyone. i feel to difficult for a relationship and to tired. i compare myself to his new girlfriend all the time and i can’t stop. why can’t i be as pretty as her? what was so wrong with me that we had to stop talking? we talk every month as friends but it lasts an hour. my heart craves his love again but i know i won’t ever get him back. i remember this one time i tried cutting off all contact with him because of his girlfriend. when i did, he said he didn’t wanna fully let me go because im a good friend to keep around and he knows ill always be there. i don’t know if he still means that because it’s been months but he still texts me first sometimes. i know i need to let go but im stuck in life and i just need him to help me like he always would. but i cant get his help so i feel stuck and confused and sad and empty.

lina112

Date posted: 14w

classes (vent)

I’m in a class with a majority (basically all) people a grade younger than me because I messed up my schedule. it will be like this next year too, because the class that i’m in next year my grade already took this past year. I messed up , and now my friends ask me about it and treat me like younger than them and like below them kind of. and they’re not bad friends, but it is embarrassing bec what i did is just not normal. i’ve tried to keep it on the dl from people because they judge. I know i’m probably overthinking it but i’m scared my friends are gonna leave me because all they talk about is the class that they’re in that i’m not in and leave me because I’m behind. it’s really stupid that i’m not really a part of my own grade anymore, and it ruined my school years that i am currently in (at least that’s what it feels like). basically im scared that i’m going to be lonely the rest of these years and sad and it’s all because of a choice I made, even though i hope they wouldn’t do that.:(

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