Givenup
- Date posted
- 2y
I have no one
No one who cares No one who understands No one who shows up No one who listens I have no one… Not even on a post venting to the world… I have no one…
leoncitosleoncitos
- Date posted
- 2y
This disorder can be very frustrating and makes you feel like you're all alone in this world. But believe me, there's always someone, or something that makes you keep going, please don't give up, if you need a friend im here :) just remember that you're very valid and a beautiful human being!
GivenupGivenup
- Date posted
- 2y
@leoncitos I was manipulated and deceived into experimentation with an older friend (16) when I was 14... he had been saying over and over that it wasn't a homosexual act and that it wasn't gay to do it.… it nearly happened a couple times before but this time we actually did it. 20 seconds of itand I went into the bathroom gagging and just overall having a panic attack.. It was such a horrible anxiety inducing experience and my HOCD makes me think I'm in denial for this…. I had repressed it in my memories for years until HOCD had made the memory came flying back into my mind… I don't ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… in any way shape or form…
KillianKillian
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 2y
I am so sorry you are feeling so alone. OCD is a really, really hard thing to live with, and it tries to make us believe we are alone and helpless so that we can’t fight back. Trust that there are tons of us going through it alongside you. We want to listen and support however we can. I hope you can find some hope and community here 💜
GivenupGivenup
- Date posted
- 2y
@Killian I was manipulated and deceived into experimentation with an older friend (16) when I was 14... he had been saying over and over that it wasn't a homosexual act and that it wasn't gay to do it.… it nearly happened a couple times before but this time we actually did it. 20 seconds of itand I went into the bathroom gagging and just overall having a panic attack.. It was such a horrible anxiety inducing experience and my HOCD makes me think I'm in denial for this…. I had repressed it in my memories for years until HOCD had made the memory came flying back into my mind… I don't ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… in any way shape or form…
mattypmattyp
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@Givenup I cannot say how much I relate to your story like holy sh*t. I was also abused by a older boy. Did the same type of manipulation. And man my ocd has ran wild with this since I was a kid. I’m in my 30s now and still struggle. But I promise you it’s worth the fight. Keep going. I’m seeing results from erp and other therapies and am feeling freer than I ever have. Keep going!!! You can find your way to live with all this and start to love yourself.
one step at a time😊🙏💝one step at ...
- Date posted
- 2y
You’re not alone, hang in there🤗💝 you are brave, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and reach out for support like on this app and nocd therapy💝 there is hope, recovery is real and possible, sending hugs🤗
mattypmattyp
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
You are definitely not alone. I do live the same way. All of this is too myself and I don’t share accept with my therapist. Only now I think I see the benefits of kinda sticking to myself. Many disappointing people out there I find. And opening up to them can become like a weapon they use against you. But just know you aren’t alone with this theme or ocd. Keep pushing threw and I promise you can learn to live with this.
Sp1999Sp1999
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I cant handle this man, i don't want to be bi or like men. But everything saying different and my gf tells me im definitely not bc shes pan and apparently "gaydar" exists . It feels like a sexuality crisis but before all this i was 1000% fine with who I was and all
mattypmattyp
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Yea unfortunately your gf reassuring you is definitely going to make your ocd worse. The only way out is to give up looking for an answer. Witch is really difficult. I really recommend looking up some podcasts or videos on dealing with intrusive thoughts. And therapy on here if at all possible. Uncertainty is the only way. You’ll never be able to find out 100%. The search for 100% certainty is what fuels the fire.
CatDadCatDad
- Date posted
- 2y
Please fight. You will solve this and be ok someday.
Related posts
1Jwg3tb3tter
- Date posted
- 18w
I don’t like myself
I’m really down and don’t have anyone i feel i can turn to. I’m just so tired of living as myself. I hate who i love with including myself. I feel so worthless. Having ocd on top of it makes me feel like im just a waste of space. I dont know how to stop feeling this way. Or if i deserve to. That’s all :(
Dinosaur ent...
- Date posted
- 16w
Utter hopelessness vent
Today my mom broke down crying because of how much stress she feels having to take care of me, she said I can’t do anything in terms of being able to take care of myself and she’s right I can’t, she breaks down constantly because of me, I don’t know what to do, it’s been like this for years, part of me feels like the only way to save her is to kill myself, I don’t want to die, but it feels like the only way to set her free, I don’t think anyone but her would miss me anyways, I feel utterly hopeless. I’m not going to do anything to myself the voices are just SCREAMING that I need to. I can’t work, I can’t go to school, I’m trying desperately to get therapy, I don’t know what else to do, I wish I was a child again and I felt like I had a chance to be okay. I love my mom so much and she loves me and I’m killing her, I’m actually killing her, with how fuckinh worthless and pathetic I am, it’s too much, I miss being a kid.
Blueberrycows
- Date posted
- 16w
Just a vent
So I’m always telling people who say I’m not getting any help or advice on my post that maybe those people just don’t know what to say or they’re afraid of possibly making the situation worse… well while that is completely understandable I feel like the amount of help/advice/ interaction has went down drastically on this app.. again not complaining I’m thankful for everyone on here but I just wanted to know if others have felt the same way
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond