Do you ever feel like ur head is gonna explode

@Studybug Yes same here!! And like my brain is on a nonstop racetrack. I’m sure it’s anxiety induced

@Anonymous Definitely! I'm just coming out of a four day rumination, where I had the same exact thoughts and came to the same exact conclusion about the thing I was ruminating about, over and over again day to night. It was so exhausting and mentally draining. Trying not to engage with it was hard because the responses to the thought were automatic, like something in my mind was answering for me before I could step in. Eventually, when the thought started coming up I started to focus on other things e.g. the sound of cars outside, or the feel of something around me, just to centre my mind again. But before that I had to accept that the rumination was completely OCD and not me at all.

@Studybug I’m a different anonymous also struggling lol but I find this so helpful thank you

@Studybug Wow exactly dude!!! I am on like day 5 of doing that lol it’s so fucking exhausting. Do you ever feel like erp makes it worse? I tried doing it last night but it felt like o was just engaging with the rumination and reinforcing the beliefs. I was doing scripts

@Anonymous Yes absolutely, erp did not help at all because it was like I was trying to reassure myself which just made the thoughts start over again. When I tried not to engage with the thought, it felt like a literal pressure in my head, coupled with physical sensations like a sudden feeling of anxiety. It first started to ease a bit when I stopped thinking that the rumination was about needing to solve a problem (because I had done that already about 50 times in my head) and more about OCD just trying to get me down in any way it could. Realising that, I was slowly able to separate it from myself and understand that the rumination was not something I was doing, but the OCD and eventually, through focusing on other things when the thought started, like sounds and sensations, I was able to give it the mental shrug I give my other intrusive thoughts.

@Studybug That made me want to cry haha I’ve never had someone relate to me, I feel like erp isn’t the best for people with really strong pure o. You saying that makes me feel like theirs hope! I always notice when I’m not ruminating and then I’m like “oh no ruminate real quick it’ll help you save the problem you need to do it!” And I’m just really trying to stop the pattern. It’s like the ocd doesn’t want me to think of anything but it.

@Anonymous Absolutely, there is always hope! I found myself reminding myself to ruminate sometimes too, I could be watching TV and realise I am not ruminating and then it would send me straight back into it, and it would trick me into thinking it was the only way to get through the problem. But it was just a hamster wheel that would keep going around and around until I decided to get off.

@Studybug Yes same all the time! Are you’re saying by getting off, you made the choice to keep focusing on different things? And using non engagement responses?

@Anonymous Yes exactly, it has to be a choice as it's the only way to gain back control over your mind.