- Username
- Jayges
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I think my OCD started around fourth grade if not sooner. It started with compulsive hand washing and I remember my hands being so dry and cracking. I remember feeling self conscious about it because they did this square dance performance thing at school with all the kids in my grade and I was worried about people holding my hands because they were so dry. @Canadi I had a similar fear of the restroom as a kid. Mine was because I saw the movie Gremlins where they come out of the toilet and it freaked me out. I would be terrified to flush the toilet at night. I was also scared of Bloody Mary, and just mirrors in general.
i was diagnosed last year (10th grade) but i have been having obsessions and compulsions from about the age of 7
I was officially diagnosed in year 10 (I’m now in year 12), but I’ve had symptoms since preschool. d a i s y
I think I’ve always had OCD, and even remember my obsessions from when I was younger. I remember when I was in elementary I was terrified of using the restroom at night because I thought Bloody Mary would kill me if I did, so I have memories of peeing in trash cans instead of going to the restroom.
i remember as a young kid staying up late into the night worrying about what to do in a fire and going through all the thoughts in my head. i was so scared of chemicals (i still am!) so i stayed out of the science experiments at school, and made sure my family was safe from carbon monoxide leaks in the house. @MelissaRose i had the same thing with flushing the toilet at night, i was so scared to go because i always thought someone was outside my door to kidnap me. i wish we all didn’t have to experience this at such a young age (or at all!). all the best x
Dsarahm I can’t believe how similar our worries were! I vividly remember not being able to eat at preschool because I was worried about the chemicals they used to clean the tables. And I used to spend hours worrying what would happen if my house burnt down. One night, we were staying in the city, and the motels fire alarms went off so we had to evacuate. It was one of the scariest moments in my childhood! I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have found this community. I never knew people could understand how I was feeling! d a i s y
When did you guys first feel like you had OCD? Or the first symptom/thought/compulsion you felt was related to OCD?
Just curious, how young were you when your OCD began? I remember being in middle school! I thought I was going to end up crazy as an adult because I didn’t understand what was going on in my head. On top of that, I was going through puberty so the combination of the two were horrible.
How has everyone else's OCD progressed throughout their lives? Has everyone else always had severe OCD or did you live regular lives beforehand and encounter one point where it went from 0 to 100. Where are you now in your OCD Journey? I'm very curious as to everyone else's stories and have left mine below if you’d like to read it. From what I can remember, I went relatively undisturbed by OCD the majority of my middle/late childhood, only having about 1-3 thoughts a year that weren't super bothersome but did create a level of distress uncomparable to regular intrusive thoughts. They were mainly about my health and about my parents safety & wellbeing. The earliest memory about my OCD that really stood out was back in 5th Grade, when I hit my head on a swing set and immediately began reciting every moment leading up to injury as well as every math equation I knew to make sure my memory was still intact. The greater part of my adolescence was essentially the same and resembled what I believed to be a normal life, just with a couple of OCD thoughts sprinkled throughout it. I was able to function pretty well albeit depressed and somewhat anxious. It wasn't until I was close to my highschool graduation that I experienced the worst panic attack(at the time) at the idea that I would hurt my parents. It was so distressing because the thought felt so loud that I believed it was genuine which only caused more distress. I was so scared that I would act on the thought that I discarded all of my sharp objects and locked myself in my room. That was my first ever severe reaction I experienced due to OCD and was back in May of this year. I actually learned what OCD was the same night and realized that many of my newly found fears including mold growing in my walls and my parents disliking me were also caused by the OCD. Unfortunately learning that it was probably OCD wasn't enough to quell my fear and I engaged in a bunch of compulsions in the months to come, worsening my OCD In the process. June was alright. July was worse(I only had like three topics for obsessions which sounds great now). Late July-Early August was my tipping point . Things went from worse to profoundly terrible in a short period. I found this app late August which was great because I had grown exhausted. September was pretty bad but not as bad as August. Now it's October and life is somewhat good now. I've become more knowledgeable of OCD (big thanks to this app and my therapist) but I'm very far from done. There's still this looming sense of anxiety that follows me everywhere. I have like 20 obsessions now, some being larger and scarier than others but those smaller ones are still apparent. But, the fear has decreased as well as the mental compulsions that came with it. My mind is quieter now. However the anxiety has stayed the same. My heart still drops whenever my worst obsession is triggered. Headaches, brain fog, sweating, rapid heart rate, sense of being paralyzed, racing mind are commonplace in my life but I've learned to sit with the physical discomfort (not that it makes it any less terrifying). Anyways, I'm here now which is cool. I’d like to listen to others' experiences to get a better understanding of OCD and maybe feel a bit less alone. feel free to ask any questions.
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