I’ve lost so many things that I love to ocd, like my favorite shows and YouTubers and food and clothing because I feel like if I return to these things since it’s been so long something bad will happen to me. I wish i could live freely without this 89 thousand ton weight on my body

This sucks 

"Pure" OCD

Order & Symmetry OCD

Perfectionism OCD

I can relate. OCD tries to gind a way to take the joy out of the everything. It wants us to live in fear and focus on it instead of what we love. I hope you can get back to the things you love soon!