Struggling with sleep OCD again

Sometimes I worry that I don’t have ocd and that I’m losing my mind and that I’ll never feel better again. I was starting to feel really good last night and I thought it was finally over so I went ahead and did a lot of the stuff I enjoyed doing before this happened (the reason I had to stop was because certain things were triggering in either one way or another) but eventually I hit a point where I just could not bring myself to do something because it was causing too much anxiety. I got this horrible image last night in a dream and then I began to get a flurry of bothersome thoughts, so now I have 2 obsessions to worry about now. The first one is kind of in control but I’m just afraid what’s going to happen to my brain and I’m worried about having an episode in front of my family, who I’m supposed to be having a small dinner with today. I don’t want to tell them what’s going on but I’m afraid they’ll notice that I’m not well. I’m never present because I’m always in my head analyzing and ruminating and worrying. The feeling last night gave me hope that I could be myself again but I just worry that these thoughts will always linger and make me lose my mind. :(

Friday I had a panic attack after a really stressful event and was unable to sleep. I got maybe 2 hours, if that. Saturday I had another stressful day and was unable to sleep. I was anxious about it all day long and then night came. Didn’t touch my phone. Ate something. Took a warm shower. Did sleep meditations. Nothing worked. Maybe slept four hours. Here is night 3. I traveled all day long with my family to a condo we are staying at for thanksgiving. So that’s 3 days of stressful things so far. I didn’t look at my phone for two hours tonight when we arrived to prepare for bed. I was beginning to feel exhausted. I even have an exhaustion headache. I tried reading for a wind down before bed. Went to bed at 10. It’s now 11:42 and I’ve tossed and turned. I’m crying in frustration. Ocd is telling me I’m never going to sleep again. I don’t know what to do. I’m away from my therapist. I’m away from my doctor. I’m going to try otc sleep aides tomorrow. I’m supposed to work from home tomorrow. And I can’t even fall asleep. It’s like I forgot how to do it in just 72 hours. I’m so frustrated and tired and anxious. Sleep is super important to me bc it helps keep ocd and ptsd in check. I don’t know what else to do and I’m supposed to be with family for a week. I’m 8 hours away from my home :(

I’ve been sleeping great for the last few months, but just recently I have been having a hard time sleeping at night even if I try to take a nap. So obviously I’m more tired than normal, which makes my ocd worse. Now when I try to fall I sleep i have anxiety flare up and makes it even harder to fall asleep. I’m literally tired trying to fall asleep relaxed and comfortable and can’t. Does anyone else have this problem?