- Date posted
- 2y
At a temp job
I’m temping right now, which is good because I don’t feel pressure. But today, I was asked if I was interested In permanent position. Boy my OCD just shot up.
I’m temping right now, which is good because I don’t feel pressure. But today, I was asked if I was interested In permanent position. Boy my OCD just shot up.
If you find it easier temping keep doing it. Just say you appreciate the offer but enjoy the flexibility temping offers which is the truth! - absolutely nothing wrong with that. You’ll get better doing longer term positions as you learn to manage your OCD so don’t be too hard on yourself ❤️
Yes. I want to take it if offered though. Im thinking it over, checking out what it all entails. Ordering food, supplies, doing mail and close commute. Good pay. Argh
@Anonymous Work it all out and maybe speak to your therapist. Look at what health benefits they offer too.
That sounds like a really cool opportunity, I get why you don’t want to pass it up! Are you hesitant to accept because OCD in general makes it hard to focus on work or is a higher position the reason for your OCD by putting you under pressure? If it’s the first maybe you could talk about flexible time off with your company. When OCD gets bad you can take breaks at work or a day off. If it’s the pressure maybe bring it up with your boss and tell them you’re interested but need a while. It doesn’t guarantee you a spot but they might be flexible and understand it puts you under pressure and save you a position. If you miss out on this because of OCD don’t put yourself down. Your mental health is way more important than a position. However, I understand it hurts to miss out on things because of mental illness and wish you the best of luck!
I guess it’s a trigger for me. All my past jobs where I was over run with obsessions and doing rituals and sweating, heart rate up, shaking, “they are looking at me”. I wish they would ask me later when I’ve had more exposure therapy. Only 1 month of exposure. Ugh
OCD in general makes it hard. Yes. And since it’s reception it wouldn’t be easy to break away. Well I sort of hope they pick someone else and take the pressure from me making a choice. It’s terrible having OCD. I know I can do all the tasks, it’s just I always think people are looking at me funny and I can’t concentrate. I get so my breathing is off and I’m all tensed up. Thank you all for your input.
Remember that OCD often latches onto good change as much as bad change, and it makes decision-making so difficult. Really try to fight your OCD and make the decisions based on what you want (not what your OCD wants) and is healthy for you. I know that’s SUPER DIFFICULT. Just want to let you know I’m rooting for you and am proud of you.
Love your comment. I’d be giving in to it if I let it win, huh? I will sit with that and see how this plays out. Thanks❤️
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
Does anyone else ever feel like they don’t feel “bad enough” to have OCD, or that they don’t feel “the right way” for it? Or like they’re just saying they have OCD as an excuse? Because i was so much better for like 3 weeks now and now im on my period and i started doubting again. So because of that im scared that i was feeling to good and that my fear is actually true.
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