- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
You can totally work on yourself while in a relationship. It's actually a one of the best times to. You learn what he really appreciates in you and you can look on yourself and see the things that are toxic (if there are any). When I say toxic, I don't mean anything that is bad with you, they are things that your brain is wired to. May that be childhood experiences or past relationships. This can simply be if you have an avoidant attachment style so you push him away and pull him back. I find that taking 15 minutes a day to really focus on your breathing can help. This doesn't mean the thoughts you have are your truth, ocd is still there. But simply allowing your body to relax.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have thought about that in regards to my girlfriend tonight actually as I hit a breaking point. But I know how much she loves me and that I love her so much also. I talked to her tonight about my feelings saying how I have become insecure about myself and she actually helped me out by telling me to get an app, which is why I am here. So what I can tell you is talk with them as I am sure your partner loves you and since they do they will understand and want to help you as much as they possibly can. That is what my girfriend did and promised for me. Just knowing that they understand you is a big relief as when you have moments they will know why and can act accordingly. Just be open with them and do not leave them as I am sure you love him dearly and do want him, and because of that you may regret leaving him and be worse off. Work together on your metntal health and I am sure you will be much better off, it has helped me.
- Date posted
- 6y
Relationships are for you to grow/find what you want and need and rocd prevents that by giving you these thoughts. When you have rocd, you are in a secure relationship. It sounds like you have some unrealistic expectations about relationships. Rocd doesn't allow us to focus on anything else. When you have these thoughts, do not latch on. Allow yourself to feel and think because it is normal in rocd.
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s hard to know tho whether or not they’re true Bc Ik if I left him or he left me I’d miss him so much:( and like my logical brain says I don’t wanna leave him but my anxiety and thoughts are like ya maybe u should. I’m relapsing:(
- Date posted
- 6y
The fact that you know he helps you is an amazing start. I deal with the same thing, and somehow I just know that leaving will not allow me to work in myself. Do you guys spend a lot of time together?
- Date posted
- 6y
Ya we do and it’s scary Bc yesterday I didn’t “feel” anything with him and it scared me but Ik that’s just my rocd
- Date posted
- 6y
But also remember you won't always feel it. There are ups and downs in relationships
- Date posted
- 6y
How do you know whether that thought is the truth and what u need or just ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
The fact that you know your logical wants you to stay, then that's you should do no matter how much the anxiety wants other. Give your anxiety and rocd a human name so that when those come be like "it's just ____ talking"
- Date posted
- 5y
I got that last month. It crossed my mind and I felt so very guilty because there would never be that I would rationally want but it just popped into my head. I felt like the most horrible person on the planet because "why would I even think of such a thing if I don't want to deep down?" But honestly just the thought of not being together made me feel like total shit, and I would never want it to happen. Then I eventually Googled it and discovered that it's a typical thought that people with OCD obsess about... And just knowing that made me feel so much better, like I'm normal again and I'm not a complete piece of shit. the obsession has now almost left me but it's still can be triggered. At least now I know how to deal with (acknowledge and ignore it) so it typically only last for a couple of minutes, instead of making me feel terrible for hours.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
- Date posted
- 16w
My boyfriend is telling me every time im anxious, that if i didnt like him (i always think that i dont love him) i wouldnt suffer this much over my thoughts, and i could have just leave him. Its very true but i dont feel better at all and im thinking that i dont want to hurt hum or that im used to him and dont want to accept the reality and thats why i suffer because i am a good person???? im so sad and scared and anxious.
- Date posted
- 15w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
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