If it doesn’t matter then why do I care?

I get that OCD doesn’t know logic bla bla, but i wonder what the science is behind my anxiety towards my OCD themes. Right now it is SOCD/HOCD and i truly feel like my identity has changed. Before it was POCD and of course i was super distressed. But it’s weird because if i know deep down I don’t want to harm kids or be with a woman, why does my whole body and spirit still believe what my OCD says. It’s funny when you say it out loud (definitely doesn’t feel funny lol), but how can my OCD make up the most harmful lies about me and my brain goes “okay i believe that” and then obsess over it. and then whenever that theme is done I can laugh about it when in turn when I had those themes, you feel like you’d rather dieeee than face your obsession? OCD is hilarious in theory 😂😂😂😂