Going insane

I keep seeing coupled numbers or angel numbers and having dejvu and in my mind when I get constant Deja Vu which in my mind means something bad is about ti happen I have had it 6 times today 3 in the last hour and I honestly feel like I'm going insane whether its Deja Vu of the numbers it causes me to question every action I make. If I see the numbers or get Deja Vu it dictates my day and I can't live this way anymore. Everyone I try and talk to doesn't understand and there is no way I can ever tell anyone about my violent intrusive thoughts the one time I did my mother called the police. Sorry for the run-on sentences and if it doesn't flow right I'm just really struggling right now and have been for a long time and I just want help I'm scared of my own mind. Thank you for whoever answers this post just one person would sadly make my day.

i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help

i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…