- Username
- LSea2021
- Date posted
- 121d ago
- Relationship OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
A year of treatment
I haven’t posted in many months, but when I was deepest in my OCD despair I remember people’s treatment stories giving me hope. This time last year I was inconsolable. I felt disconnected from real life because of how much time I was spending in my own mind. I could hardly work, barely could participate in my relationship with my fiancé, and found myself in hysterics more often than not. I was overwhelmed, I was consumed. My main themes were SOOCD and ROCD—incredibly challenging themes to battle. For anyone battling them now, I and so many others here see you. You are not alone. A year ago I hit rock bottom on a Thanksgiving visit to my husband’s parent’s house. I disrupted the whole trip with my instability. I privately scribbled in my journal about how terrified I was, and how I knew the thoughts weren’t me but I didn’t know how to make them stop. A week later I learned about OCD. A month later I stated ERP. A year later I am feeling safer and cozier in my life than I’ve ever felt. I still have the thoughts about the same themes, even some new themes that try to latch every once in awhile. The difference is now I have the tools to let go of the thoughts, because that’s all they truly are: a string of words or images I’ve simply made up. I noticed they’re worse when I’m sick, tired, or stressed. A year later and, for the first time in my life, sometimes I don’t have a single thought in my brain at all. I can just be alive. You can make it through this.