It feels like I’m just in denial. Like I just need to accept it. I don’t want to. I want to have a husband and a babies. I don’t want this. I’m scared. It feels so. Real.
It’s making it feel so real for me too… My friend was making another hinge account for me and she was going to put that I was bisexual. I stopped her and when she asked why, I was trying to say "because I'm straight" but what came out of my mouth was "I want people to see me as straight"... my HOCD is telling me that I'm in denial because of this and it's making me feel like I'm not anxious about it...
@Givenup I get how that would trigger you. Hope your okay. I, like you, have said things like that loads of times. I even had to ask all my close family that if I was anything other than straight would they accept me. It was almost like coming out. It was so scary
I can completely relate and the loss of attraction for guys has not helped either
@Mak46 Yup. I’m the same
I feel this. Today, it feels like my OCD is telling me that I’m actually just afraid of being straight which is not true, I quite enjoy being straight and being attracted to the opposite sex. And it’s freaking me out because the anxieties not as high as it’s been. But I keep asking myself how I can go from being very attracted to the opposite sex one day then this comes and all the sudden everything’s changed. That just doesn’t happen.
Hello! It sounds like you’re where I was for about four years of my life 🫠 I won’t provide reassurance, but I’ll say this: I chose to believe in my life with my fiancé and desire for babies with him. Deep down, I knew this was what I wanted, and I didn’t want the alternative—as much as my brain challenged me (and still does) on the topic. There are a lot of scary stories out there that it was easy to project onto my own experience—remember that those stories are *other people’s stories* and not your own. Trusting oneself can feel hard with OCD, but it sounds to me like you know what you want. And what you want is what matters 💜
@LSea2021 I’m very happy for you :)
I’ve honestly given up at this point. I mean, there’s just no way around this. I went to therapy. I’ve been on medication for 8 months. Yet, this topic is still the core of my thoughts every. single. day. It seems like I’m fighting something that’s true about myself. And, maybe acceptance will be the first major step to feeling better. Idk. I feel like maybe I’ve been bi my whole life, but was just focused on guys and now it’s developed into both if that makes sense. Like maybe it was always in me, but I didn’t realize until now. So many bi people talk about this. They talk about feeling ashamed (me too) and always liking one sex before and then it changed. I know I have OCD, but, I’m not sure that this is a subset I have anymore. Everything is too real. I’ll miss the way I was before, but maybe I was never that girl before. It’s time to just accept I guess. No matter how heartbreaking it is.
What does acceptance mean/ feel like? Because to me it just scares me and makes me feel like I’m giving into my OCD thoughts.
Why does it feel like I’m accepting it 😞 like I’m so tired of fighting the idea of being a p I just am accepting but I’m also not at the same time, and I’m not anxious. Idk like I don’t want to be around kids because what if I am a p and I’m letting a p be around children?
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