It feels like I’m just in denial. Like I just need to accept it. I don’t want to. I want to have a husband and a babies. I don’t want this. I’m scared. It feels so. Real.
It’s making it feel so real for me too… My friend was making another hinge account for me and she was going to put that I was bisexual. I stopped her and when she asked why, I was trying to say "because I'm straight" but what came out of my mouth was "I want people to see me as straight"... my HOCD is telling me that I'm in denial because of this and it's making me feel like I'm not anxious about it...
@Givenup I get how that would trigger you. Hope your okay. I, like you, have said things like that loads of times. I even had to ask all my close family that if I was anything other than straight would they accept me. It was almost like coming out. It was so scary
I can completely relate and the loss of attraction for guys has not helped either
@Mak46 Yup. I’m the same
I feel this. Today, it feels like my OCD is telling me that I’m actually just afraid of being straight which is not true, I quite enjoy being straight and being attracted to the opposite sex. And it’s freaking me out because the anxieties not as high as it’s been. But I keep asking myself how I can go from being very attracted to the opposite sex one day then this comes and all the sudden everything’s changed. That just doesn’t happen.
Hello! It sounds like you’re where I was for about four years of my life 🫠 I won’t provide reassurance, but I’ll say this: I chose to believe in my life with my fiancé and desire for babies with him. Deep down, I knew this was what I wanted, and I didn’t want the alternative—as much as my brain challenged me (and still does) on the topic. There are a lot of scary stories out there that it was easy to project onto my own experience—remember that those stories are *other people’s stories* and not your own. Trusting oneself can feel hard with OCD, but it sounds to me like you know what you want. And what you want is what matters 💜
@LSea2021 I’m very happy for you :)
I can’t. I’m so scared. I don’t want to deny the HOLY SPIRIT. I keep having intrusives that make me question my real intentions.
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
maybe i dont want to accept the factvthat i lost feelings, maybe i never actually loved my boyfriend and i hust wanted a relationship , i dont want reasurance, but in very scared i dont love him, because it feels real. im scared
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