I’m constantly thinking about hocd thoughts. What if I’m gay? What if you like her? Blah blah things like that, I can’t tell if it’s ocd anymore. Like deep down I know, and some days I know all the time I’m straight. I don’t like girls, I never have. So why can’t I just get it through my head? I’m tired of it. I literally can’t tell anymore

You can do this ♥️ I'm talking a lot ? But there's this one saying that really helped me and I'm paraphrasing here but it was something along the lines of you are the sky and OCD is the clouds. You came first and it can't survive without you. Maybe use that if you feel like you really have to do your compulsions.

Me too. But then I question if I do and the cycle goes back

I’m going to delete this app because I’m definitely coming on here for reassurance. I need to get better

Or you could just do the exercises and not talk to anyone if you think that would be better

I hope you get better! ♥️ There's sooo many options out there and even ones for if your sexuality doesn't fit any of the others! I know it's kind of an empty saying but try not to worry about it so much. Even though your hocd might make you do it

Well just go to the therapist. If she says something different you need to mention ocd. If she doesn’t specialize in it you need to get another therapist. They can really mess with ocd if they don’t know. Also if the thoughts are real who cares?? You’ll still be you! But I know that you don’t want those thoughts so I really think it’s ocd

I come on her to feel better and that fuels my ocd I know it does. I deleted the app yesterday for only a little bit and I kept getting urges to get it again “just to check it” but I know this app makes me feel better and I just want to let the thoughts be there and to not avoid it

It's obviously up to you but are you sure it's your OCD? Maybe it's a coping mechanism instead. But I'm new to this and not an expert so do what you think is best. If you stay on this app I'd love to help you though ♥️

What do you mean? Getting on the app is a coping mechanism?

Yeah. It could be distracting you but again I could be totally wrong.

Yeah idk. I can’t tell what I’m doing for reassurance or just trying to feel better. This is all confusing

I know it is lol

I’m literally sitting outside of my work not wanting to go in. I’m so tired. I’m confused. I can’t get a therapist because none of them specialize in ocd around me. Ugh this is annoying?

Yeah I know but reassurance is a compulsion, so I think I might be doing that to feel better

You can go into work and come back to the app whenever you need to. Just try to wane yourself off of it and not just stop cold turkey. ♥️

Also you can use the SOS feature instead of asking for reassurance if you feel better about that

Thank you I think I’ll be ok it’s just all confusing right now. I think I have a lot of mental compulsions and looking things up for reassurance is also one. I’m confused because I really can’t tell anymore. I used to be so sure of my sexuality and I still know I’m straight but these thoughts confuse me. I’m just not sure anymore, like what if I’m actually gay and I’m just denying it? That right there is a hocd thought, so why can’t I get it through my head?? Ugh so annoying

There's also a thing called heteroflexible. (Which is what I am) It means you're straight, but you like the same gender as well, but you'll probably never act on it. It has a really cool flag too lol look it up. When I found this I felt so much better about myself. I don't know if I had hocd before I found it but if I did it stopped it. I would cry because I didn't know what I was and when I found that term I cried tears of joy lol. Don't know if this is what you are or not but though I might be able to help. ♥️ Btw happy pride month! ?️‍?

Me too. Instead that I actually did know if I’m straight. I am feeling so anxious. 99% of my attraction is gone. I think I like this guy but I am even doubting that. I am even worried about my first therapist appointment today. I keep searching my past if I have found certain people attractive or something when I’m the moment I didn’t feel anything

I honestly think a lot more people are heteroflexible than they think lol

I don’t want to be that either. I just don’t want to be with women. I mean Idk anymore. I doubt everything. I just don’t know how I feel towards women, like I think every girl is pretty now, and then I get anxiety and constant thoughts that bother me. I don’t even know if I like guys or if I ever did and that’s scary!

Well thank you for that! But it really doesn’t feel right that’s just not me. Idk it’s all so confusing because I never worried about this before. I’ve always liked boys I can remember having crushes on boys thinking their cute. I had hocd when I was younger as well just because I kid called me a lesbian what a dumb ass. He really made me so upset. Maybe it’s a traumatic experience that’s bothering me. Idk it’s weird. I wouldn’t even care if I was that way it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t have any problems with people that are that way, my brothers that way! I always ask him questions and he says I’m obviously not that way so whyyyyy ugh I can’t

Heteroflexible means you won't date the same gender but you still think they're pretty or cute or whatever.

Also there's abro which means your sexuality's always changing

And there's even a flag for questioning so you can feel at ease either way ?♥️

Yeah I don’t think girls are cute, I think girls are pretty and most of the time I want to look like them. I’m definitely not that way, but thank you so much for giving me options! That easily could have been me and I would be better. Sadly I’m still in hocd confused asf but I’m not that upset anymore so that’s good

I just feel so weird. It’s like do I enjoy the thoughts or not? I want to be like before. But I don’t know how I used to be. It’s all so confusing, like I’ll never be myself again. I don’t feel anything towards women and that’s it! I just questions and have these horrible images all the time and they feel so real

Have you seen a therapist?? You might need one I don’t think my ocd is as bad as yours. It might have been before but now I’m a little bit better.

I have my first session today. I am worried tho. What if she won’t understand, and tell me I don’t have ocd? I am a little embarrassed by even telling her this. Now I got the thought “why don’t you wanna be gay. You are and that’s it. Stop lying” and it feels so real. I hate this. It’s like I am stuck in my head all day.