Feel like you’ve ruined your life?

Anyone feel like you have ruined your life through giving into ocd compulsions? Or the choices you made in life that led to ocd symptoms getting sparked in the first place? I know healing is very possible, but right now i am remembering so many important moments in my life that have been “robbed” by ocd… :( I know this may continue to happen. The intrusive thoughts. The numb emotions. The constant checking to see if I’m in the present moment, which is exactly what takes me from the present moment. I wish I could go back in time and make different choices so my ocd didn’t flair up and rob important moments in my life that I had dreamed of for so long. Feeling bitter. Have you been where I am right now?

Username: Butterfly_02Butterfly_02

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes I did some confession compulsions and now I feel like I ruined my life and a terrible person. Its a never ending shame cycle

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

I am where you’re at right now and I made progress in the past but I want to share with you is that by not doing therapy, sitting with the monstrous feelings of ocd, and internalizing those dreadful thoughts and imagery will make it a vicious cycle. You have to take those small steps and hold yourself to it and it’s hypocritical of me of suggesting that to you but it’s only the way to get back in control of your mind and not allow the prefrontal cortex to control your daily activities.

Username: Sa88Sa88

Date posted: 2y ago

Yeah it sucks. It is very frustrating for me especially when it was around people who have no compassion or hold double standards. But the past has led you here, and i think and a lot of people here “get it”. I wouldnt even say it was really your fault. The bitterness is valid. Going forward though if we keep up the work we are incrementally going to get better at making better choices and resisting leaning into ocd. Making new experiences with less inner dialogue might help out a bit. Sometimes focusing in different sense gates is a different way to experience the present moment without getting all “meta”. I feel like reading your post you already got the right idea, keep going. Also reframing the past when it no longer represents who you are now or in the future allows you to get closer equanimity. Im hoping when i am in a better place i can poke fun at my OCD episodes/choices and turn them into some funny cartoon or comedy bit. And also derive some sort of action and purpose to redeem those unskill choices i have made.

Username: babltibablti

Date posted: 2y ago

Thats me right now. Feel like my OCD has ruined everything and there is no way out... idk what to do :/

Username: Chellie

Date posted: 3y ago

I'm feeling a bit down when reflecting how much time I've lost to OCD. I was housebound and stuck in compulsions for 4 years (age 18-22) and I feel as though I'm grieving. I'm doing much better nowadays compared to before but I'm still so sad this has been my life. I feel like I shouldn't complain considering I am doing a lot better, but when I see all my friends having their degrees already and having lived their early 20s happily I can't help but grief what I lost. Does anyone else feel this way too?

Username: rg17

Date posted: 2y ago

grieving time lost to OCD

I consider myself recovered from OCD. i still have intrusive thoughts but they no longer upset me. some days i really dont even remeber if i had any thoughts. I am so thankful to be better because it was SO bad at one point. However lately i have been grieving the 2.5 years of my life that i lost to constant intrusive thoughts and compulsions. It makes me so sad that i wasted so much time stuck in my own mind. does anyone else ever feel this way?

Username: Traveller

Date posted: 1y ago

Regret

I have intense regret about the past. If I know something earlier, or if I choose differently, or be a bit braver or more confident, I would have a different life. My current would be much better. I think about this all the time everyday. I wonder if itself has become ocd? Has anyone have the same experience?

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