Should I confess more details about my past actions to my girlfriend?

What should I tell her?

I know we can't ask for reassurance, but I need some opinions from others who understand OCD :( When my gf and I had just gone official, I had another friend who I was close with that I think had feelings for me. When I was drunk one night I called her after she left to pick me up and go to her apartment. My friend told me it was just to keep drinking because my roommate had gone to sleep in the living room, but I was so drunk I can't fully remember and feel I was making the call to fool around. Another time a few weeks later we squeezed hands while very drunk again. I've since stopped drinking and hanging out with this person, and even told my gf what happened. However I didn't go into detail about the fact that I think I might have been trying to cheat or had slightly developed feelings, just told her I felt like I had cheated by making that call at all. She took it really well but I don't feel she understands the severity, and thinks it was mostly the other girl making advances. It scares me so much because I did kiss another girl during my previous relationship yeears ago in college (my current gf doesn't know about this), so I'm scared I'm doing bad again. I feel like I need to confess and fully explain what exactly I'm worried about, and that I think the only thing that stopped me from actually cheating is that she didn't pick me up, but at this point I'm not sure if that's a compulsion or not. How do I know? Do I just confess again? I've confessed multiple times to her and it's def put a strain on things :(

Username: RousRous

Date posted: 1y ago

I guess I probably wouldn’t confess to her, especially if it’s putting a strain on the relationship, at least not right now. You don’t know how she’s going to react, even if she’s been supportive in the past. If you are seeing a therapist, I’d recommend talking this through with them so you can gain clarity on your end before talking to her. In my past experience, a prior girlfriend told me you can only blame OCD for so long, so while it’s good to be honest about what’s going on, it’s also hard for people to understand if they’re not dealing with it. If you haven’t yet, maybe tell her about OCD but keep it surface level. Anything specific should be worked through with a therapist before sharing with her. I wish you the best though, this sounds like a tough situation and I can tell that you really care about her.

Username: Anonymous444444Anonymous444444

Date posted: 1y ago

My therapist did tell me it might be impractical as I didn't actually cheat, so it isn't totally relevant unless I do cheat, but idk it just still feels scary to me

Username: Anonymous444444Anonymous444444

Date posted: 1y ago

Also should clarify, she is aware of my OCD I've shared that with her as well and she's very supportive. Last time I told her I still feel guilty she even said it concerned her that there's more to it and that I should talk with my therapist as she doesn't think me communicating that much is healthy, but I dunno

Username: I wish this was easierI wish this ...

Date posted: 1y ago

Confessions are definitely a compulsion in this situation and it seems like it would hurt your gf more to keep giving in to them. She understands and wants to make what you both have work; she listened, she forgave you, she wants to move on. It's up to you now to honor that and respect what she wants from you. You have been honest with her and that was enough, further confessions will not give you the answer that you want.

Username: Anonymous444444Anonymous444444

Date posted: 1y ago

I suppose, I just feel like I'm being dishonest by not fully disclosing my concerns about my intentions :( this was 6 months ago now and I'm still hung up

Username: Have Some Chocolate 🍫Have Some Ch...

Date posted: 1y ago

It's a Compulsion Resist the urge to Confess....

Username: Anonymous444444Anonymous444444

Date posted: 1y ago

I know this is a long read but any support would be huge, I'm having a rough go of it today I love her so much :(

Username: Johnny101

Date posted: 3y ago

Hey this isn’t really ocd related I don’t think, I’m just hoping for a piece of advice from some of you guys out there. This Friday I went to a party with some of my friends, to another friend of mines dorm room. The friend who’s dorm room we were in, me and her had became close last year other than that we haven’t really spoken much over the last semester. I’ve never thought of her as anything besides friends. I have a girlfriend I love very much and everything and I would never ever want to hurt her at all. Friday I was very intoxicated, and was talking to one of my other friends about the friend who’s dorm room it is about how I thought she was attractive. But with my guy friends we’ve always been very open about talking about females indirectly. I don’t think I said anything to her directly about it and I am really hoping I didn’t seem flirtatious because I feel absolutely full of anxiety and guilt that I was disloyal to my girlfriend in sort of way and idk what to do. Physically I’m positive for sure I didn’t do anything and my other friend says I didn’t say anything to her while he was around. I’m just really scared because I love my girlfriend and I don’t want to sit w the guilt that I did something to hurt her. Vowed to myself I wouldn’t drink again or put myself in a situation where I may be vulnerable to doing something like that. Someone please give me some advice to feel less guilty

Username: olivia1997

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Confessing everything to partner?

I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Confession - cheating ocd

I have this thought where i think ive chested on my partner 2 years ago when drunk at a party I really really dont think it happened because i only had the thought a few months ago “what if i cheated at this party with this guy who i barely even know” I see a future with my boyfriend and i don’t want to confess but i just feel like i have to JUST IJ CASE but i know it could hurt him so much and it probably didnt even happen I cant just ask the guy who i think i cheated with because were not friends and dont speak so if i message he will think im some freak Anyone in a similar boat or overcome this I just don’t know how i can move forward without confessing

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Should I confess more details about my past actions to my girlfriend?

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