- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
What do you mean by symptomatic behaviour? Today I had a rough day with rOCD and Im panicking over not loving my boyfriend anymore
- Date posted
- 6y
For xmariax -erp therapy is your friend!! Read up on it, expose yourself to your bad thoughts, read books about rocd these things will change your life! They did for me and my pure-O and hocd!
- Date posted
- 6y
Maria- no worries it seems like you have intrusive thought ocd... this can be very difficult! I read a book that helped immensely called “overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts” I bought the e book online and started reading right away! I feel like this could be a really good book for u to read! It actually kinda changed my life for the better. I think what you are doing is using analyzing as a compulsion. When you have a thought that scares you if you start to analyze it or creating scenarios you are feeding into the ocd. You have 2 ocd voices in your head that keep you locked in. The first is the ocd panic voice which tells you that your thought is a red flag and needs attention the second is the false comfort these thoughts will tell you to do things like make up a scenario so you feel better, or write a list of reasons why this thought would never happen... the goal is to not interact with either. To identify the thought is just ocd and say, thanks voices but I’m just going to think the thought without judgement and without compulsion than continue doing what you were doing.. or start doing something else like laundry or take a walk. Do not push the thought away (so let the thought play in your head like your watching a movie) but don’t interact with the thoughts either. You need to let them be... I know it’s harder said then done!! Trust me, some of the thoughts that used to destroy me were awful and very hard to just “ let pass me by” but the more you practice the easier it gets!!!! It’s hard to explain, but you really just have to be very brave. If it makes you feel better you should tell your partner that you have ocd intrusive thoughts, don’t tell them the thoughts just that you are going through them they might be able to help support you. For example I had harm ocd and many times it would be terrible thoughts about my husband... I knew it was ocd because I could feel the “whoosh” feeling when the thought came up! I told my husband that I had harm ocd and sometimes the thoughts were about him, I didn’t tell him what the thoughts were because they aren’t relevant they are ocd and they don’t mean anything. But just him knowing when I was going through the hard moments was helpful as he helped support me a lot. It’s normal to have sticky days, and it can feel like ups and downs especially when u are trying erp. When u do erp you have to make a commitment to do it as much as you can or else it won’t work. Read as much as you can about ocd and erp !!! And lastly just because u don’t feel anxious does not mean all of a sudden your ocd is true. You still have a core as a person, things don’t just happen or become true because you think it. My therapist said to me sometimes when we don’t have anxiety we almost give it to ourselves because we are used to it being there!!!! You can make it through !! Baby steps!
- Date posted
- 6y
I gave a positive comment b4 but now my ocd is really playing up..it’s just doing my head in , in terms of decisions I want to take in the future that always feel immediate to me even though they aren’t
- Date posted
- 6y
You are definitely using erp tactics by just allowing the thoughts in as terrible as they are! What helped me is learning to watch them play out like a movie... like they were not attached to me. This sounds like you are making progress! I recently just started to really feel the benefits of erp treatment (took 6 months) and I remember when I got to the point you are at, when you could find those good days! Keep doing what you are doing!!!! It really does get easier! Easier to the point where I have days with no ocd, realize it and actually now give myself the intrusive thoughts on purpose to keep up with my erp treatment! Thoughts that used to make me panic and cry I give myself for the heck of it now, and I feel normal! Those days are awaiting you! Keep up the good work!!
- Date posted
- 6y
deemajical, thank you! I just tried to do it with the SOS of this app after crying and panicking for over half an hour and at the beginning I truly panicked because everything felt so real and the anxiety was horrible. But right now I guess Ive got no more tears left to cry and Im still getting the thoughts but I feel a liiiiiittle bit more calm but the ugly thoughts dont leave
- Date posted
- 6y
Maria-erp can be very very difficult in the beginning! I cried a lot when I first started it felt very intense! As awful as it sounds, the more anxious you are that means it’s working and you are on the right track! I really suggest reading up on erp and ocd. Maybe find some books online or search some therapists talking about it on YouTube! This can be very helpful to help you understand that your thoughts are only thoughts, they are not real and don’t mean anything about you. Give yourself time, and know that erp is hard! But it’s better to feel the short term pain of erp then the long term pain of ocd. Try to expose yourself to your ocd daily, and make sure to tell your ocd that you don’t fear it, it’s okay for those thoughts to be there (say that outloud even) it’s hard to believe in the beginning but if you stick to it there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!! It gets easier with time!!! I was struggling very bad with intrusive thought ocd and am 85% better after 6/7 months of erp !! You can do it too! Best of luck!! I’m rooting for you!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Also, I wanted to add... the reason we feel like the thoughts are hurting us is because we try so desperately to get rid of them, and the harder u try to get rid of them the more ocd pushes them forward. Erp is about learning to not push them away... eventually they won’t bother you!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much! I appreciate your words. Sometimes Im scared of doing it because I feel my anxiety levels wont be as high so it will mean that my thoughts are actually real. Actually, exactlt a week ago I was doing amazing, I went out to eat with my partner and everything was amazing, but then on Sunday when I noticed that I had no anxiety I started to get worried that maybe that meant my thoughts are actually real and that I just dont love him. These days have been all about me analyzing and creating scenarios to try to see if I get anxiety or even to provoke it, but it didnt really work. So, today everything got worse and I have been feeling like Im right at the beginning all over again! I recognize the feeling and the ugly thoughts. Sometimes I forget about it and have a great time, but most of the time it is all about analyzing my thoughts and creating scenarios to check how I would feel, and if I think that maybe I wouldnt feel good with my partner next to me in that exact moment and I have no trace of anxiety or me freaking out, then I actually get really scared.
- Date posted
- 6y
There is one movie that Im INCREDIBLY scared of watching. It is "500 days of Summer" because I guess it portrays what is terrifying me. Watching the movie could be considered as exposing myself to a trigger and would that help?
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi Maria, I find the trick is not to look for those amazing moments but just try and be stable and accept everything as normal, so if things are going well with whatever, just accept it and enjoy it for what it is knowing that something else/potentially bad could be round the corner, once you come to expect these fluctuations; u won’t be looking for extreme highs or lows, I hope that makes sense, Dave
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much! Something that worries me a lot too is that people say that they create scenarios to get relief, but most of the times when I create scenarios with my partner I imagine myself not feeling good, like focusing on his flaws or finding something about him annoying so it worries me that me not getting relief from the scenarios means that I dont love him. And yes, I have talked to him about this and he has been INCREDIBLY supportive, but sometimes I prefer to not tell him things because Im afraid he will get tired of this and leave or that I will often make him feel bad because I fell that sometimes I hurt him. Yesterday he admitted that sometimes he feels a little sad because he wants the both of us to enjot our time together but he told me that I wasnt hurting him and he often tells me I have to focus on myself and not him but I just cant. It is horrible to feel this way, I wish it would all just go away and that I could go back to who I was. But yeah, we're all battling here. Thank you so much for your help so far!:)
- Date posted
- 6y
Don’t worry Davey I’ve had a rough day too- we all have our ups and downs x
Related posts
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 20w
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 19w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
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