Nothing in life I’d worth it

@Churruminho My HOCD and real events OCD is triggering me... Ihad an explicit content addiction when I was 13-14, leading me to m/o to stuff like yaoi explicit content that I don’t ever want to ever m/o to...I didn’t know what sexualitv or anything like that was when I was 13 or 14 (I can’t remember) but I also was manipulated and tricked into experimentation by an older friend who said it wasn’t a homosexual act... I don’t ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all... it’s making me feel like I’m not anxious about it and giving me chills... I don’t ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all...

@Churruminho I also have POCD and real events OCD based on explicit content and extremely horrible real events I did when I was 13… I had no idea how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t…

@Givenup I don't want to give you any reassurance because that won't help you, it's really hard to evaluate past actions when you were a teenager, years ago, with your mind today, after a lot of experiences. And you're doing this all by yourself. You should really see a professional, they can and will help you.

@Churruminho People say I was a child when I was 13-14 and that I didn’t know any better… my mom and this former ocd therapist say “Thirteen-year-old children do not have an adult's sexual understanding or responsibility. So, you can see why you didn't realise the horribleness of an event until you matured. So now, in the present, you know yourself to be a good moral person. It allows you to let go of the past…” idk if this is true or not… I have HOCD and POCD and real events OCD based on explicit anime content for my HOCD and POCD when I was 13-14 and when I was 17-18… and extremely horrible real events I did when I was 13… for my POCD…

@Givenup These thoughts don't go away because you have an issue, your brain is constantly telling you that you need to "solve" these things. That's why they don't go away. OCD makes us feel the need to analyze everything we did, get reassurance, do a lot of things to get rid of the anxiety. If you continue to do these things, your brain will not learn that you can live with the discomfort. You may not believe it now, but don't give up, don't stop your treatment. Don't be in a hurry to get better asap, it's really really hard. You can't see it now because you are trapped and your fears may make sense in your mind, but that's how the condition works. I got a little bit better, less anxious, then I got really worse again, my dr says it's going to take a while but even with the anxiety I have to be pacient. I'm sorry that it's being so so hard, it's hard to believe in all of this, but give up it's not worth it, even if you can't see it like this right now. Reach out for help, OCD it's one of the most debilitating mental problems. You can do this, sending love 🤍

@Meg Johnson My HOCD and real events OCD is triggering me… I had an explicit content addiction when I was 13-14, leading me to m/o to stuff like yaoi content that I don't ever want to ever m/o to... I also didn't know what sexualitv or anything like that was when I was 14... but I also was manipulated and tricked into experimentation by an older friend who said it wasn't a homosexual act... I don't ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all... it's making me feel like I'm not anxious about it and giving me chills... I don't ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all...

@Hersheydog1! It’s making me feel like I’m in denial, making me feel like I’m anxious of being straight, or making me feel like I “want” the thoughts when I dont ever want these intrusive thoughts or intrusive feelings in any way shape or form… plus my friend suddenly texted me one on one and I got an intense anxious feeling… my HOCD is making me think that because it was worse than how my HOCD usually feels, that I’m in denial because of it…

@Hersheydog1! And when I see or hear anything related to women my age and above (I love women my age and above) I immediately get HOCD intrusive thoughts and feelings… like I could be fantasizing about a woman my age and above and then the thought morphs into an intrusive thought of a dude, then the intrusive feelings kick in, and make me feel like I want the intrusive thought when I dont…

@Givenup OCD is tricky like that and will make you believe anything it wants your brain to believe. It’s important to accept this as just thoughts rather than taking them completely seriously. Much love ❤️

@Hersheydog1! Like literally anything?

@Meg Johnson For the most part yes! The brain is very powerful