Ocd

@linds123 I’d speak to your doctor. SZ only affects 1% of people and it is best caught early. Do you have any real symptoms?

@linds123 Sorry I thought you were OP

@Newb82 Oh no your good lol

@Newb82 No i don’t think so I am 9 months postpartum and I think my ocd just got bad maybe it’s psychosis ocd

@Ocdppd Is this your first baby?

@Ocdppd I’m just wondering because I’m going through the same thing but I had my baby 4 years ago and for the longest time I had harm ocd and now I’m pregnant again and my theme completely changed to mental health ocd which is obsessing over getting schizophrenia and going completely crazy after having this baby since it’s already bad now 😬

@linds123 Yes it’s my first one

@linds123 I think it may have to do with ppa ppocd or maybe because we are mommy’s and having to take care of another little human is hard we are being hard on ourselves and expect that nothing bad happens to us or else who is going to take care of our babies

@Ocdppd That is so true!! It is definitely hard being a new momma! Do you ever get the feeling of is this actually ocd though? That’s my problem too as well :(

@linds123 Yes I question it and sometimes I overthink it and all the “what if it’s not ocd” star to come in.

@Ocdppd Right it’s scary I legit obsess over being scared of hearing and seeing things to the point I start believe it but I don’t actually see or hear things I’m more afraid of it getting to that point because of how scared I am of it happening I feel like no one else can relate to that though that’s why I’m scared it isn’t ocd as well it’s bad 😭

@linds123 Schizophrenia Ocd has really messed me up it all started in November before that I was so excited I was so pumped that it was going to be my first Christmas with my first baby I worked and worked to make sure I had enough money to take him out and buy him presents but everything took a turn for the worst in November when I started getting the worst paranoia and feeling intense fear of everything. I quit work because I was unable to work with all the panic attacks I was getting every hour, I was in and out the hospital the whole month, I felt like people were going to hurt me tho I knew I was safe my mind kept telling me otherwise I was always in danger. At some point I thought maybe I gave postpartum psychosis, I was going through the thoughts of what if I get possessed. I kept having lucid dreams and sleep paralysis and every time after waking up from the sleep paralysis I didn’t feel like me, it felt as if my soul left my body and I wanted to hurt my baby 😞 it has all been so overwhelming and ruined my first Christmas with my son I have no work and can’t even afford anything sometimes I even struggle to buy formula or diapers😓

@Ocdppd Your doctor has the best answer. That’s what I tell myself when times are like this. I’ll let him/her have the last word. Just make sure you tell your team everything even if it seems insignificant. They know much more than us and they deal with many cases like ours every day.

@Ocdppd Omg girl we legit are going through the same every thought u had and that u fear is the same fears I go through every single day!! I’m kinda getting over the fear of going out in public and people hurting me but it’s still there but I feel you I’m also not working because of this and panic attacks are so bad now and the sleep paralysis is that when you wake up and u believe for a second something is going on but it really isn’t or is that something else because I’ve been going through that as well! I hope this gets better for both of us for our babies cuz it is definitely sooo miserable 😩

@Newb82 I use to feel like this but every time I would tell them my symptoms and everything I felt like I was bothering them and they just cut me off and saying that it’s just anxiety and I guess they are right but I felt like I wasn’t being heard 😕

@Ocdppd Feel lucky then. I wish they’d tell me it was just anxiety. How long have you had this?

@linds123 I don’t know if it helps but paranoia is defined as “worrying unnecessarily” which also pretty much describes anxiety. Maybe this is the cause of your confusion. In my experience psychosis controls you in a massive way. I mean you would be doing crazy things that made mo sense every day. I ended up homeless, starving myself and did not wash for months until I was literally black with dirt. I’m not sure but I don’t think you can manage without medication if you have schizophrenia.

@Newb82 Right that’s true everyone keeps telling me this isn’t schizophrenia even that podcast i listened to made so much sense on how I don’t have it but I just still can’t accept it and still have what ifs it’s getting to the point where I think I’m starting to go crazy over it the doctor even said you have to have schizophrenia first in order to have the ocd with it I’ve always had ocd first and he said there’s legit no such thing as ocd turning into it but I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around that and it’s sooo annoying

@linds123 Have you gotten a diagnosis? Or talked to the doctor about what’s going on? My doc think it’s ocd

@Newb82 All this started in November :(

@linds123 Amazing. I’ve definitely had lots of themes from childhood onwards.

@Ocdppd Yes I talked to my OB she said I 100% have ocd so she set me up with erp which I start this week which I’m sooo terrified about because I heard how scary and hard it is at first i think u have ocd too because I legit go through everything you do everyday

@Ocdppd I think if you are going to get ill you will get ill big and get ill quick. You are in the right place, you have good communication with services. Keep your team informed on your situation. If you are getting ill they will know, they know what to look out for.

@Newb82 Right I know thank you! I’m just scared it will turn into more after I have my baby because after you have babies your hormones drop dramatically which causes your mental to go all out of whack sometimes so I’m just scared that will make me go mentally crazy or something I just wish someone had an answer for me it sucks lol

@linds123 What is ERP?

@Ocdppd It’s exposer therapy for ocd where u basically bring on your ocd willingly over and over until it doesn’t bother you anymore which sounds like the most stressful scariest situation ever lol

@linds123 Oh I’ve heard of that how can I ask for that? I was to try it

@Ocdppd Look up psychologist near you and see if they have any openings for ocd/erp that’s what I did my ob refereed me to one but it ended up being the wrong place so then she said to just look up psychologist near me so that’s what I did and now I have an appointment coming up do u have insurance?

@Newb82 What makes you say that? What are your symptoms?

@Ocdppd Well I think that what people say has a double meaning and sometimes it can sound like people are talking about me. Not in a bad way, just passing comments sort of thing.

@Ocdppd I don’t hallucinate but I do misinterpret speech and writing. Or I can at least.

@Newb82 Not trying to diagnose you with anything because by no means am I a doctor or therapist but that sounds more like psychosis in a way my friend was going through the same thing and she was diagnosed a few years ago

@linds123 What was your friend diagnosed with?

@Newb82 Psychosis

@linds123 I took an overdose of amphetamine before I got ill so I had a period where I was homeless and thought I was Jesus etc but my doctor thinks that was drug related. The psychosis was strong then. Now it is like trace amounts which I try to ignore. But I will say that I have what they call insight which means I understand that it is psychosis and it has always been something I have fought to push out of my brain. Maybe it is OCD, I can hope. Either way I definitely have OCD too and I’ve started meds for that recently which have helped immensely.

@Newb82 I’m happy you found something to help! When you thought you were god was it just a thought you obsessed over? or did you actually believe you were god this answer will better help understand everything honestly!

@linds123 I believed that what other people were saying could be loosely misinterpreted as a message from God. I don’t hallucinate I just take things out of context. It was very real back then but it has just annoyed me ever since.

@linds123 I don’t trust people one bit either. I ignore it but sometimes I’m right.

@Newb82 Right! Hm I’m not sure that must be very tricky to know for sure what you have but like you said it could most likely be both your doctor knows more then I would but it just sounds more like psychosis but not like a serious case of it because you do realize you have a mental health disorder most schizophrenics do not realize they have a problem so I honestly think you definitely were misdiagnosed psychosis and ocd can be missed especially by doctors that arnt familiar with the ocd or psychosis I listen to a lot of podcast about this because this is my biggest fear so that’s how I know this as well

@linds123 Which podcasts?

@linds123 Do you know anything about compensation for a missed diagnosis or a misdiagnosis? I literally can’t find anything.

@Newb82 YouTube channel is called the ocd stories the one I listened to was ocd and schizophrenia it really gives u insight on both of the disorders and there differences

@Newb82 I do not unfortunately :/

@linds123 I’ve heard hundreds of OCD Stories podcasts and I think I know the episode you mean.

@linds123 I heard when you get sone stuff your OCD can fixate on the memory too. I’m hoping the doctor will help. Like I say I’m better off as it is now I have an SSRI so I’ve already won a battle but being able to at least reduce my antipsychotic meds would be great.

@Newb82 Yes definitely a good one!

@Newb82 Have they considered you getting off them? Since they believe now it’s ocd

@linds123 My last appointment was the one where he told me he thinks I have mild autism or OCD. That was six months ago and he started me on citalopram. The adjustment period for the citalopram is up now and I’m just waiting for a medication review. Antipsychotics never really solved the problem but SSRIs have been amazing. Maybe it is anxiety related who knows?

@Newb82 Right well anxiety is one of the biggest symptoms of ocd so that could be why it’s getting better then how long did it take for it to work?

@linds123 It helped day one. Then I had months of upheaval as I adjusted. Now I’m completely relaxed and at ease pretty much. I just have to remember to take my meds on time or I have bad withdrawal symptoms for days which is like the worst OCD ever. My OCD certainly goes through the roof in certain situations and at those times I trust no one. I went three years without SZ meds recently and I did have a rough spell when people were smoking drugs in my house etc but as soon as they left I recovered. The problem was I got sectioned based on the tough spell I had and when I tried to tell them I was fine again they’d heard it all before if you know what I mean. Them they put me in a hospital where people were literally having crack delivered to the ward and the whole thing just started again. I had to just shut up till they let me go because I’d have been there forever. Whenever anyone does anything odd I get suspicious. Sometimes they actually are doing it for a reason. They might be being suggestive sexually because they want to sleep with me or I might have fallen out with them and some of those people try to deliberately wind me up. I just avoid those people.

@Newb82 Yeah I couldn’t imagine that at least the meds are helping you get out of that mess just make sure to stay on them no matter how much u believe you are better and don’t need them anymore because I’ve made that mistake before and it made my ocd spiral out of control meds can make u feel that way that’s what’s tricky for me about it but definitely learned my lesson

@linds123 I’d love to just be on SSRIs.

@Newb82 Definitely talk to your doc about that! I’m sure if this medication is doing so well for you they will see how you do off the other medicine

@Newb82 For me it’s the idea of going crazy I’m afraid of going crazy or developing schizophrenia. I don’t think I have it but at the same time I’m not sure.