hi everyone. will there really be a life after recovery? i feel so depressed. will i have ever know that i love my boyfriend? will i have ever be attracted to him? i can’t even feel in love with him and it breaks my heart. i feel hopeless
Hey ObiWanA! OCD can make us feel hopeless, but please know there IS hope. There is life after recovery and it's full of color :) It does take hard work, commitment, consistency in engaging in exposures, etc. But these are all things we are all more than equipped to handle! Have you already started your ERP journey?
@adelinesdragon thank you for your message! i’ve been doing erp by myself and i was doing okay for a few days but suddenly i feel very depressed and anxious
I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Yes, recovery is possible. OCD can be overwhelming, but with time and practice, tools can be learned to make it manageable. Are you currently in therapy? I am in ERP (exposure and response prevention) therapy. It has been a huge help for me. Recovery is possible. Be patient and kind with yourself.
@Lisa LeeLou How long did you do erp before you recovered?
@Lisa LeeLou thank you for your message! i am not seeing a therapist but i do erp myself and was doing okay for a few days, but overnight i felt very numb and depressed
@ObiWanA Please try not to be so hard on yourself. OCD can be very cunning. Recovery is progress not perfection. Try to create some self-care go to’s That you can use as redirection when those feelings come up. Could be as simple as putting together a song list that you can throw on and listen to.
@68273 Hi @68273 for me, recovery is not a straight line. My journey has ups and downs. The key is minimizing the down times so they are manageable. I would say my recovery started a few weeks into ERP. With ERP you work on tolerating the obsessions without giving into the compulsions. By Compulsions I’m referring to anything that someone with OCD feels compelled to do as a reaction to their obsessions/fears; in an attempt to negate them. The compulsions can be physical or non-physical. My biggest compulsions are avoidance, rumination, and seeking reassurance. With practice, I was able to increase my ability to tolerate the obsessions without compulsing. Then I was able to see that the compulsions I was doing were not really having a helpful effect on the fears I was obsessed with. In fact, I started to understand that the compulsions I was doing were actually causing my fears and obsessions/anxiety to increase. Then I was able to focus on understanding and accepting the obsessions and fears without engaging with them. I was able to see the path to recovery and believe it.
Of course there’s a life after recovery.
@Nica Like a good life?
@68273 I’ve been recovered for 3 years and living my best life. It’s going to be hard work but it’s worth it.
@Nica 😥😥😥😥🤧🤧🤧tell me how you accomplished this?
@Nica How did you survive, cope? I’ve had pureo for 13 years and just did erp for 6 months and got worse so I stopped. I couldn’t cope. It was a living hell for me. I was going to good a few weeks ago but just accepting the thoughts and there were days where they were not there at all and felt like how I felt before Al of this started and I thought I had recovered. But I had a trigger yesterday and I’m in full panic mode
@Nica it’s great to hear you are recovered, do you feel like your old self again or a new self?
@ObiWanA I’ve never had an old or new self since I’ve always had mental illnesses and that’s not going to change. I don’t think seeing yourself as old and new is that helpful either. It’s absolutely NORMAL and NEEDED to grow into someone different as the years go on, even with a mental illnesses.
@68273 ERP therapy, getting on a daily schedule, practicing mindfulness, yoga, meditation, exercise daily, not taking life so seriously/having a sense of humor, tackling and healing from my other mental illnesses—namely PTSD—and TRULY letting go and not caring about your thoughts.
@68273 You have to accept the fact you will have ups and downs in your life—but everyone does. Everyone’s had a crappy day, or weeks of months—even years. But you need not let that rule your life. Live your life, and don’t just survive.
I’m starting erp with NOCD this Wednesday and I’m scared that my theme will be true
@68273 i hope you will be okay! it’s great that you are trying
@68273 @68273 I think it’s great that you are starting therapy. Keep in mind OCD is the doubting disease. Therefore, it is not uncommon for thoughts and questions to come up as you begin therapy. Be kind and patient with yourself and take it one step at a time. Wishing you all the best on your recovery journey. You’ve got this.
@Lisa LeeLou How long did you do erp? W nocd ?
Hello, I’ve been with NOCD since last year.
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
just crying cause i feel like im never going to recover and just have to be lesbian, even tho i love my boyfriend so much. thoughts don’t even give me anxiety anymore idk what to do, im just so done, feel like it’s all real and that i want it(when i dont). any tips or anything, idk how to keep going
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
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