Hi, I downloaded this app on a whim and I realized I might have harm ocd. I thought it was my depression getting to me this whole time. Here's the pattern I've noticed. After a really good day or weekend when I've become very happy, I'll start to get intrusive thoughts about people insulting or slighting me in some way and me killing them to punish them. As the days go by the length of the intrusions increases dramatically, so that I'm spacing out for hours about graphic murder and suicide scenes that are very disturbing. They will end in one of two ways. The first is I will think to myself that I would actually do these things because I must, and then do a 180 and cry about how I don't want to hurt anyone or become a terrible person. The second is that my fury and wrath within the imagined scenario will become so intense that it's like an orgasm of rage jolts me awake, and then I become very upset about what kind of thoughts I was having and the fact that they completely stole all of my attention. Sometimes I find that I have been pacing or even running back and forth, because of all that fight or flight adrenaline that got worked up. By the end of the week I'm feeling deeply depressed if not suicidal. Because of the pattern that has emerged, it feels like my brain just won't allow me to enjoy life, like it has to sabotage me everytime I actually enjoy living, and I'm even starting to feel dread during happy times because happiness has come to mean the beginning of another emotional storm. Does this sound familiar to any of you? I'm not diagnosed with ocd, and I wanted to wait until I get a better job at the end of summer before I start visiting a psychiatrist. This app tells me to let those murder thoughts come. That seems outrageous to me. I don't want to think about killing people MORE. I thought about writing graphic lyrics and putting it to music in my band, but I worry that would be a selfish way to cope because then I would be planting those desires in people who might actually do them. I'm sure this got long so thanks if you read all this.

Am I normal? I have thoughts about killing my friends, family, and strangers recently very often in a variety of ways and these intrusive thoughts are draining happiness from me.. I don't know this type of OCD but I'm certain it's a subset of OCD. I don't know what's happening to me. Someone please reach out to me. Its draining happiness from me every day. When I'm having a fun time with family one intrusive thought enters my mind out of the blue. It gets so bad and so violent that it physically made me sick. I'm not even kidding.

I’ve been dealing with intrusive violent images/urges/thoughts for months now. Lately it’s gotten worse. Sometimes when I see a person i automatically imagine hurting them, sometimes to see if I enjoy the thought or not, or sometimes it just appears in my head and I try to cut it off immediately. It’s like i just can not interact with people because I can’t tell if I’m a risk or not. If I’m capable of hurting them or not. I hate it because I’m all day trying to get an answer to whether I want to harm people or not. I’m constantly asking myself: have you ever desired the thought? Do you want to do it or not? And all of the above makes me feel anormal and like a psycho. And of course, another doubt comes into my head: do you really don’t want to be a bad person? And it’s a never ending disturbing and frustrating cycle... I can’t stop it, it’s driving me crazy and it makes me desperate. Is all this even normal?

Does anyone here have harm OCD that tries to attack every single action and thought they do during the day? Mine is about killing my spouse. Now every time I hear something that entails the future or “doing what I gotta do” I am afraid if the thoughts showing up. And as I try to think “do therapy”, “find hobbies”, “get into yoga” the intrusive though appears and it’s “kill your wife” or “kill your wife and yourself afterwards”. It could attack a happy event to. Like you finally get that reimbursement you were waiting for on an online shopping return. And now you get it and you’re like : “Nice, thats done” and the the intrusive thought comes “cool, now you can kill your wife”. I’m under the impression I am becoming schizophrenic. I don’t hear a voice or see things though, and some days there are less occurrences than other days. It’s days where I don’t work and have a day out with the wife doing fun activities that the occurrences are less. But if I sit alone working in my office all they they appear all the time. This is very distressing and causes severe anxiety. Loosing appetite, head aches, becoming extremely irritable. This is the hardest thing I have ever go through.