Can all the people that feel like their theme is a truth let me know I’m not alone. I’d appreciate that a lot. I’m really struggling Just feels like it’s the truth and I’m doing everything in my power to ‘deny’ or ‘suppress’ it. Best wishes to all 🤍
You're not alone! I have to choose constantly to trust what I believe over what I feel...cuz my theme almost always feels true. I had a friend who was such a support with my ocd years ago, before I even thought there was such a thing as recovery. She was an engineer, and she once told me, "I guess your brain is wired kind of like a computer game that is always programmed to beat you. So no matter how good you get, the game won't ever let you win. The only thing to do is to stop playing the game!" I've never forgotten that.
@elizajane553 I love this thought!
@elizajane553 That is an amazing analogy! Another addition I’d make: through ERP, we can rewire the computer game so it’s not so hard and we CAN win!
You are by no means alone. My theme does often not pose questions, but dictates "certainties". "This is not the person you want to be with. Step out of this relationship". For instance. The ocd voice in my head can be very loud and sounds like a dictator, not like a vulnerable person who just doesn't know. Hè knows, and that's what makes it so real (while it is not). Hang in there, and take care!
Hey just wanted to reach out as I have and am currently struggling with this a lot. You’re not alone! Keep trucking on!
You are definitely not alone! OCD can make our obsessions feel SO real and like “the truth.” Keep practicing ERP and it will slowly get better! If you haven’t tried ERP yet a NOCD therapist can definitely help!
I feel like my theme it's true all the time, you know that, it my seem like it's not, but it is, and at work now, otherwise I'll be talking to you, sorry I wasn't there
I’m really struggling with this theme because it can make me feel “fake” and it creates doubts that the world around me isn’t real or it’s a simulation? I’m really trying to expose myself but even the possibility makes me incredibly afraid. It even plays into my suicidal ocd as well and makes me afraid that my life would be miserable if this was true. I know how ocd works and I know not to fully believe that. But at the same time, I am trapped in doubt and fear. How could I possibly accept this? Will I ever see the world or life the same again? (Don’t answer that I realize that’s reassurance). Idk this theme is so ass.
False memory OCD is such a pest. It’s really hard to deal with the feelings of certainty and anxiety, trying to discern if things are false memories or real memories, what if they’re real memories, what if my OCD is right, what if because my OCD was right about one thing it’s also right about this thing, what if it knows something I don’t or haven’t realized yet, what if the real memory it’s taking from is actually false and the false memory is true. And it’s worse because the theme and false memory is so high stakes and it’s terrifying to consider what if it’s actually true and the consequences, but that only feeds the OCD, and it doesn’t help that I keep mentally prodding at it to see if the feelings of certainty are still there. It makes the false memories seem so real, and it’s like it wants me to admit the false memory actually happened when I don’t know that it did, and I’ll never know. I try to sit with the uncertainty but my OCD makes this feel so real and it creates so much certainty that this did happen that it’s so hard to keep telling myself that I don’t know, that this could be a real memory or it might not be and I’ll never know, and to remember that this came up a few days ago and I was pretty sure it was a false memory and I was handling it. Like remembering the false memory made it an actual memory. I have no idea if any of this makes any sense - it’s getting so meta lol. Reading all of this, it’s no wonder it’s so hard to sit with the uncertainty about if it’s a real memory or false. It’s been on my mind over the last week, too, which probably doesn’t help things, because the deeper I try to delve into it, the more complicated it becomes, and trying to point out that logically, it doesn’t make any sense, doesn’t help because my OCD comes up with scenarios and what-ifs and ways that this could have happened. It’s really tough to sit with when my OCD is so convinced this is true and it wants me to be convinced, too. I could really use some support, validation, encouragement, anything. If you made it this far, thanks for reading - please take care of yourselves. ❤️🤗
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
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