Can all the people that feel like their theme is a truth let me know I’m not alone. I’d appreciate that a lot. I’m really struggling Just feels like it’s the truth and I’m doing everything in my power to ‘deny’ or ‘suppress’ it. Best wishes to all 🤍
You're not alone! I have to choose constantly to trust what I believe over what I feel...cuz my theme almost always feels true. I had a friend who was such a support with my ocd years ago, before I even thought there was such a thing as recovery. She was an engineer, and she once told me, "I guess your brain is wired kind of like a computer game that is always programmed to beat you. So no matter how good you get, the game won't ever let you win. The only thing to do is to stop playing the game!" I've never forgotten that.
@elizajane553 I love this thought!
@elizajane553 That is an amazing analogy! Another addition I’d make: through ERP, we can rewire the computer game so it’s not so hard and we CAN win!
You are by no means alone. My theme does often not pose questions, but dictates "certainties". "This is not the person you want to be with. Step out of this relationship". For instance. The ocd voice in my head can be very loud and sounds like a dictator, not like a vulnerable person who just doesn't know. Hè knows, and that's what makes it so real (while it is not). Hang in there, and take care!
Hey just wanted to reach out as I have and am currently struggling with this a lot. You’re not alone! Keep trucking on!
You are definitely not alone! OCD can make our obsessions feel SO real and like “the truth.” Keep practicing ERP and it will slowly get better! If you haven’t tried ERP yet a NOCD therapist can definitely help!
I feel like my theme it's true all the time, you know that, it my seem like it's not, but it is, and at work now, otherwise I'll be talking to you, sorry I wasn't there
Okayed me start off by day I’m not seeking reassurance so don’t give it to me . I just need to know that I’m not alone in this trans theme . This is the second month that I had this theme . It has completely ruined me . I’m not going to lie it has me a bit suicidal I feel like I’m going insane and I feel like I’m a whole different person. Like I just turned into a boy out of nowhere . And it feels very real . And I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore without second guessing myself . My brain will either tell me I look like a boy or tell me I am one . I don’t like it . But I feel like I just have to try to deal with it now . Like maybe I am a boy now ? It pains to have to “accept” something like this because I know deep down inside no matter how real it feels , I am Naja Demsyn . But my brain just won’t stop no matter what I do . I stoped the googling , I stopped the compulsions, I’ve tried the sarcasm and it still will not go away . I feel like it’s erasing my entire life . I’ve been a girl for 18 years and never questioned it and did what I enjoyed . I was happy the way I was . I had minor insecurities but I was confident as a girl growing into a woman . I wanted a husband and to be married with kids . I looked up to other woman like Beyoncé and Michelle Obama . I wanted to be like my sisters . I liked doing things like getting my nails and hair done . It made me feel good . And all of that was taken from me . It tells me I hate my body , I hate my face . Can’t stop getting images of myself as a boy . Tells me I’m not really In love with my boyfriend and I never liked boys . It’s told me that I was really like this my entire life . Sometimes it even makes up little scenarios of the past as if I’ve questioned my gender before . This has to be the worst theme that has ever happened to me . I legit can not take it . I feel like I won’t recover from this and I am going to be forced to be something I never wanted to be and live unhappy. And this is where the suicidal thoughts come in . If I can’t be myself than what’s the point of living ? It associates me with Every man I see as if I am there equal . And I’m not and I don’t want to be . And I keep praying that it will go away and nothing works . I don’t know what else to do my options are getting limited I’m getting more depressed and life is getting so much more evil than it was before . Someone please give me some kind of advice at least on how to deal with this or what may happen to me . I’m scared , I’m lonely and I feel like dying .
so i feel like i need to vent because all of this is just building up, 3 months ago when i had my first intrusive thought that caused an obsession that went on for weeks and then every other week a new intrusive thought would pop up and i’d obsess over that one. and it continues with multiple themes. some even similar to the one i’m dealing with right now but for some reason this one feels so much more real then again all the themes did. i really don’t know how to explain it, frightened if it’s just me. some days i feel completely numb to it like i’m a bad person but if that was so why would i keep fighting it and being in distress over it. it’s breaking my heart. i should know that it’s no coincidence since i’ve been dealing with this thing. whatever it might be ): i really don’t want to give up but i’m just scared. it all feels wrong and i feel numb or sometimes the ugliest stuff pops into my head. also the old themes have tried popping up again. i wonder if this whole thing is just my fault if it’s all just me but the truth is i guess i’ll never know... there’s so much more i could say... but i hope someone can relate to this... is it possible to feel just completely not like yourself like you’re trying so hard to just be the way you are but it’s hard because you have to sit with the fear inside your head... cause tbh there’s no other choice
I just need any encouraging words you can give, I have tried so hard to move past these themes but it’s so hard. I feel in denial and starting to question if there’s some desire on my part. Sometimes there’s a thought that I can’t get passed and I feel like it brings me down to square one.
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