- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
If you are really set on keeping this relationship going you both obviously need to sit down and talk about both of your thoughts and feelings (and when you are both not upset). There is not 100% fault in any relationship. Obviously you both have issues with the other or how things are being handled. A good scope to measure for a healthy relationship is having disagreements 20% of the time and the other 80% being pleasant interactions. If that is not happening something needs to change or you might need to move on. An unhealthy relationship is draining and not good for either person.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Break up with him. Don’t ever apologize for dealing with your feelings, you don’t have the capacity to ruin someone’s life. You don’t deserve hot and cold because that just makes your anxiety worse. He doesn’t want to take the blame for a breakup but suggests you break up with him? That doesn’t sound like someone who wants to be in a relationship or work through your issues in the relationship. You deserve to be loved for who you are, good and bad. If someone sees you for everything that you are and wants to stay then that’s worth fighting for. All my opinion. I dated a borderline narcissist who would treat me similarly and worse and it was like walking on egg shells and constant anxiety. Finally had to walk away.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You know my thoughts: break up with him. Invest in getting better yourself. He’s obviously not going to meet you half way and one person can’t save a relationship. I know the pain of losing him will suck. But I can promise you it will be worth it.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah I think my boyfriends a narcissist or has tendencies at least. He had a great no stress life and then I come along with my problems and he doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to. He even told me once when I bought up his ex that she looks much much better than me. Then afterwards he said he didn’t mean it and he says things for revenge. He couldn’t hit me so he spit on me when I tried to keep him in the apartment to talk (I was in a foreign country dependent on him and he was packing and leaving after a fight, I didn’t know when he would be back and I had no money) He tells me I turned him into this monster and he’s not perfect but it’s my fault. Just a few weeks ago he was Skyping me all sweet and saying he will never leave and then one little thing set him off and he needs space and acts cold, which leaves me with anxiety and makes me reach out to him. When I try and talk he shuts down and threatens to block me and says he needs time and space until he’s back to normal. I’m always on edge and I pathetically still love him.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
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