- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
If you are really set on keeping this relationship going you both obviously need to sit down and talk about both of your thoughts and feelings (and when you are both not upset). There is not 100% fault in any relationship. Obviously you both have issues with the other or how things are being handled. A good scope to measure for a healthy relationship is having disagreements 20% of the time and the other 80% being pleasant interactions. If that is not happening something needs to change or you might need to move on. An unhealthy relationship is draining and not good for either person.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Break up with him. Don’t ever apologize for dealing with your feelings, you don’t have the capacity to ruin someone’s life. You don’t deserve hot and cold because that just makes your anxiety worse. He doesn’t want to take the blame for a breakup but suggests you break up with him? That doesn’t sound like someone who wants to be in a relationship or work through your issues in the relationship. You deserve to be loved for who you are, good and bad. If someone sees you for everything that you are and wants to stay then that’s worth fighting for. All my opinion. I dated a borderline narcissist who would treat me similarly and worse and it was like walking on egg shells and constant anxiety. Finally had to walk away.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You know my thoughts: break up with him. Invest in getting better yourself. He’s obviously not going to meet you half way and one person can’t save a relationship. I know the pain of losing him will suck. But I can promise you it will be worth it.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah I think my boyfriends a narcissist or has tendencies at least. He had a great no stress life and then I come along with my problems and he doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to. He even told me once when I bought up his ex that she looks much much better than me. Then afterwards he said he didn’t mean it and he says things for revenge. He couldn’t hit me so he spit on me when I tried to keep him in the apartment to talk (I was in a foreign country dependent on him and he was packing and leaving after a fight, I didn’t know when he would be back and I had no money) He tells me I turned him into this monster and he’s not perfect but it’s my fault. Just a few weeks ago he was Skyping me all sweet and saying he will never leave and then one little thing set him off and he needs space and acts cold, which leaves me with anxiety and makes me reach out to him. When I try and talk he shuts down and threatens to block me and says he needs time and space until he’s back to normal. I’m always on edge and I pathetically still love him.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
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- Date posted
- 9w ago
Everyday I wake up, all my mind makes me think of is the stuff I’ve done in the past, like all day I’m in a constant cycle of judging who I used to be and it hurts so so much. I wish I never thought to do those things, I wish I had been more mature than how I was before, it’s really lowering my self worth and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this miserable before, like last summer was the worst because I was dealing with this shit, I about almost ended my life over it, and I thought it would get better, which it did, but it didn’t last but for a while. As soon as it became 2025 I was going through it again, having constant cycles of “I’m a good person” to “I’m the worst person imaginable” and I’m so sick of it because I just want to feel like the good person l like to imagine myself to be, but I can’t because of shit I did in the past that I obsess over. I’ve cried and screamed so much over it and it seems like it will never leave me.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
When I talk about how terrible I used to be to my girlfriend it makes me feel like I’m gonna do it again which I don’t wanna do and it scares me and then I get intrusive thoughts and feelings about it doing it but I don’t want to, weird I know.
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