- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
If you are really set on keeping this relationship going you both obviously need to sit down and talk about both of your thoughts and feelings (and when you are both not upset). There is not 100% fault in any relationship. Obviously you both have issues with the other or how things are being handled. A good scope to measure for a healthy relationship is having disagreements 20% of the time and the other 80% being pleasant interactions. If that is not happening something needs to change or you might need to move on. An unhealthy relationship is draining and not good for either person.
- Date posted
- 6y
Break up with him. Don’t ever apologize for dealing with your feelings, you don’t have the capacity to ruin someone’s life. You don’t deserve hot and cold because that just makes your anxiety worse. He doesn’t want to take the blame for a breakup but suggests you break up with him? That doesn’t sound like someone who wants to be in a relationship or work through your issues in the relationship. You deserve to be loved for who you are, good and bad. If someone sees you for everything that you are and wants to stay then that’s worth fighting for. All my opinion. I dated a borderline narcissist who would treat me similarly and worse and it was like walking on egg shells and constant anxiety. Finally had to walk away.
- Date posted
- 6y
You know my thoughts: break up with him. Invest in getting better yourself. He’s obviously not going to meet you half way and one person can’t save a relationship. I know the pain of losing him will suck. But I can promise you it will be worth it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I think my boyfriends a narcissist or has tendencies at least. He had a great no stress life and then I come along with my problems and he doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to. He even told me once when I bought up his ex that she looks much much better than me. Then afterwards he said he didn’t mean it and he says things for revenge. He couldn’t hit me so he spit on me when I tried to keep him in the apartment to talk (I was in a foreign country dependent on him and he was packing and leaving after a fight, I didn’t know when he would be back and I had no money) He tells me I turned him into this monster and he’s not perfect but it’s my fault. Just a few weeks ago he was Skyping me all sweet and saying he will never leave and then one little thing set him off and he needs space and acts cold, which leaves me with anxiety and makes me reach out to him. When I try and talk he shuts down and threatens to block me and says he needs time and space until he’s back to normal. I’m always on edge and I pathetically still love him.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
My boyfriend just said this to me: “If u rlly wanna be together n build something healthy u wouldn’t try to look at every small negative aspect or disagreement as a dealbreaker” do you think deep down i just don’t want to be with him? I’m so confused
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ll preface by saying he’s a brutally honest guy who doesn’t feel like there’s anything wrong with being honest. But um… yeah. He says I concentrate on the bad too much instead of all the good. I said I feel the bad is still there lingering during the good. He doesn’t compliment me like my previous boyfriends have unless I’m absolutely dressed to the nines, and even then, I can barely get it out of him. I’m a few years older than him. The other day, I asked him if he is sacrificing being with his type to be with me, and without missing a beat, he said “yes.” Basically, his type would be skinnier, younger, hotter than me (shocker, I know). I showed him a photo of myself that I liked, and he said “meh.” I tried to be confident and said, “well, I know it’s good, and that’s all that matters.” He asked what I liked about it, and I said my cheekbones looked good. He said he “only saw cheeks.” I said, “yeah… kinda hard to see cheekbones without seeing the cheeks…” He then proceeded to poke at my face/double chin, and when I asked what he’s doing, he said, “Trying to find the bones.” In the same convo, he said he hasn’t wanted to sleep with me because of my weight. Said he wishes he could see my waist more. I’m 10 pounds heavier than I was when we met, and that’s nothing. He’s gained way more in this relationship, but I don’t give him shit about it. He says “well maybe you should.” But I’m not gonna go insulting him just because he insults me. When I tell him it makes me feel bad, he says, “well I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, so…” Anyway, I know it’s not just ROCD. I deserve better than this. But ROCD still makes me question myself. Mad af at him ngl
- Date posted
- 18w
Longer post, but please, I need some guidance. I thought that my thoughts relating to relationship OCD were taking over. But, my bf started treating me differently. I tried to have a conversation and communicate this worry. He then texted me that he had actually been feeling distant for a month and has been meaning to tell me. But “we’re fine now.” I spiraled. Later in the week, he went quiet after a disagreement. After he promised we were okay and he was okay, I found later he was texting a mutual friend (female) that I was crying again. She said that it was fucking insane and other hurtful things about me. He said he lost his trust with me because I looked through his phone and saw that message even though during the whole relationship we had a mutual understanding that we had nothing to hide from each other and he always assured me that I could look through his phone at anytime. It’s ok for boundaries to change in a relationship, but it wasn’t communicated and I was harshly reprimanded. During the texting chain with the mutual friend he also said that “she just has no idea.” When I addressed this, he then said that for the past month, he actually felt he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but still loved me. I’m ruined. I had the same thoughts in January and knew I loved him. I found out it was ROCD (through this app) and told him the day after the realization because it was eating at me. So him saying I wouldn’t understand and telling other seems unjustified. I would’ve been the most understanding. Any help would be appreciated greatly.
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