- Date posted
- 2y
having a crush
how do y’all handle having a crush when you have ocd and severe anxiety? idk i just feel just super anxious ab it. especially the uncertainty of like being in the “talking stage”
how do y’all handle having a crush when you have ocd and severe anxiety? idk i just feel just super anxious ab it. especially the uncertainty of like being in the “talking stage”
I simply don’t handle it lmao. I honestly hate having crushes because I feel too obsessive and anxious over everything and it causes me to feel creepy and ashamed and gross, and every rejection experience I’ve had just feeds into all of it. I hate uncertainty and I always want to know what to expect which I know is very unrealistic but the anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts just take over very easily when I have no idea what is coming next. I just try to avoid pain by making it occur faster, and I’ve put myself in positions where I knew I’d be rejected but I wanted to rip off the bandaid so I could just stop thinking about all of it.
I am in the midst of this right now… I didn’t think of it till now but I am feeling a lot of anxeity in the talking stage… it is like every time she doesn’t answer I think I did something wrong… the best idea is to just sit with the uncertainty, the future is so unknown but right now we are exactly where we are! Thats the only way I see it honestly
@OneDayAtATime I had no idea OCD was so related to feelings of uncertainty until I got this app and I feel like I would’ve been much better off if I knew this a long time ago. I’ve always struggled very deeply with uncertainty. It’s so hard. I feel the same as you but I don’t think I’ve ever truly been in an actual talking stage with anyone, I just try and befriend the person I like, anxiously wait for them to at least be platonically reciprocal, they do so for an extremely brief time and then get bored, and so I just feel like shit and let them forget me or I tell them I like them really normally and casually literally just so I can move on and it freaks them out and they stop talking to me. This is why I’ve never dated. I’m demisexual and I barely like anyone in the first place which helps nothing. Bleh.
Relationships are so hard to begin with. So many people struggle to get it right. It's why there are 100s if not 1000s of books out there about relationships. And there are so many single people on dating apps. Add anxiety and OCD on top of it... oof... I feel that. I am new to the concept that I struggle with ROCD... but I think there is a lot of room for us to be gentle with ourselves in this process. I mean, really be kind to ourselves and take a breath, because so many people struggle to get this right,not just those of us with OCD.
@traingirl10 I am freaked out by dating apps. I tried them but my anxiety couldn’t take it, I just think everyone on them is going to hurt me. I hate strangers so much, they freak me out. And I don’t like the concept of commodifying dating. It just feels icky to me. I wish it didn’t because then I could meet more people but I just can’t
I need advice. I’ve had OCD in different forms since I was eight. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He has always been subtly anxious and jealous. He would say things like, “I find everyone but you ugly” or “I could never find anyone else attractive.” That stressed me out morally, especially since it’s our first relationship and I, of course, want to be good enough for him. It started around the three-month mark of our relationship. Now to the problem: When I see someone who is attractive or cute, it already begins. I start thinking—or rather, I don’t just think, I feel. I genuinely and naturally feel these emotions, like I find that person attractive, like I like them, like I want them. I even feel infatuated, like I want to be with them, spend time with them, be their partner, even sexual scenarios or feelings like I love them. These emotions feel so natural and real that I can’t tell the difference. With one person, I’ve had these feelings for over a year. But I only know most of these people by sight. It could be that I’ve fallen in love with the idea of them. That’s a big issue for me. It completely goes against my moral values. I don’t want this. For me, it would be terrible to have a crush on someone else, to like someone else, or to fall in love with another person. Or worse, to love someone else. Because I do love my partner, and I want a future with him. And I know the relationship wouldn’t survive if my fears came true. Even if he always tells me, ‘No, I wouldn’t break up with you,’ I couldn’t live with it myself. And the thing is, it’s not even such an unrealistic fear. It’s not like I’m afraid I want to kill someone or that I have feelings like that. No, this topic I’m dealing with involves real people. There are many people who suddenly fall for someone else, who develop a crush or even fall in love with another person. And I can’t reconcile that with myself. A year ago, I saw someone, and it hit me like a shock (I think in a negative way). Yes, he is attractive or cute. But in that moment, I felt so much fear, panic, and adrenaline because I felt and thought that I liked him more than my partner. When that happens, I start testing my feelings again. And of course, I feel exactly what I’m afraid of. I then constantly feel this pressure or burden, along with guilt. When I think about a scenario, or imagine the person, those feelings come immediately—followed by fear, panic, and guilt. Because of that, I avoid certain places, things, or even numbers because I’m afraid of being triggered. By now, I’m convinced these are my true feelings, because I just can’t imagine that OCD could produce such emotions, and for such a long time—sometimes over a year. I simply don’t want this. I just feel awful, like a monster. What should I do?
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
seriously someone pls give me advice 😭 I think last week I posted about how I have a crush on my friend and how my brain was making me question everything (mostly my sexuality). Well now I know he has a crush on me too and I’m already worrying about not liking him anymore, even though I was thinking about him all day before he confessed to me. I went to look at pictures to make sure I still think he’s attractive and I didn’t feel the same. Now I’m worrying about if I’ll no longer feel attracted to him when we hangout in person. Why can’t I at least have a simple crush? Why must I question everything??? WHY CANT MY BRAIN JUST FUNCTION NORMALLY THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!?? If you have any tips on how to deal with this please let me know 😭.
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