- Date posted
- 2y ago
having a crush
how do y’all handle having a crush when you have ocd and severe anxiety? idk i just feel just super anxious ab it. especially the uncertainty of like being in the “talking stage”
how do y’all handle having a crush when you have ocd and severe anxiety? idk i just feel just super anxious ab it. especially the uncertainty of like being in the “talking stage”
I simply don’t handle it lmao. I honestly hate having crushes because I feel too obsessive and anxious over everything and it causes me to feel creepy and ashamed and gross, and every rejection experience I’ve had just feeds into all of it. I hate uncertainty and I always want to know what to expect which I know is very unrealistic but the anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts just take over very easily when I have no idea what is coming next. I just try to avoid pain by making it occur faster, and I’ve put myself in positions where I knew I’d be rejected but I wanted to rip off the bandaid so I could just stop thinking about all of it.
I am in the midst of this right now… I didn’t think of it till now but I am feeling a lot of anxeity in the talking stage… it is like every time she doesn’t answer I think I did something wrong… the best idea is to just sit with the uncertainty, the future is so unknown but right now we are exactly where we are! Thats the only way I see it honestly
@OneDayAtATime I had no idea OCD was so related to feelings of uncertainty until I got this app and I feel like I would’ve been much better off if I knew this a long time ago. I’ve always struggled very deeply with uncertainty. It’s so hard. I feel the same as you but I don’t think I’ve ever truly been in an actual talking stage with anyone, I just try and befriend the person I like, anxiously wait for them to at least be platonically reciprocal, they do so for an extremely brief time and then get bored, and so I just feel like shit and let them forget me or I tell them I like them really normally and casually literally just so I can move on and it freaks them out and they stop talking to me. This is why I’ve never dated. I’m demisexual and I barely like anyone in the first place which helps nothing. Bleh.
Relationships are so hard to begin with. So many people struggle to get it right. It's why there are 100s if not 1000s of books out there about relationships. And there are so many single people on dating apps. Add anxiety and OCD on top of it... oof... I feel that. I am new to the concept that I struggle with ROCD... but I think there is a lot of room for us to be gentle with ourselves in this process. I mean, really be kind to ourselves and take a breath, because so many people struggle to get this right,not just those of us with OCD.
@traingirl10 I am freaked out by dating apps. I tried them but my anxiety couldn’t take it, I just think everyone on them is going to hurt me. I hate strangers so much, they freak me out. And I don’t like the concept of commodifying dating. It just feels icky to me. I wish it didn’t because then I could meet more people but I just can’t
I've just started dating this really great girl. She doesn't know about my ocd which is fine but I've noticed that a lot of my intrusive thoughts and worries about not following routines now revolve around losing her or her believing I'm a bad person. I just don't want this relationship to make me so paranoid. I also know have this where if I see a girl on my Instagram or on the Internet, I'll feel an overwhelming urge to clean myself and the device I viewed it on. This is part of a moral reaction and I also worry I'm not being loyal. I feel I should try and not follow through with these compulsions but as they now revolve around keeping my girlfriend I'm not sure. Any advice?
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
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