- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ha, honestly same. I've been a bit better lately so I've been able to ignore them or overlook them. But this time last year, if I'd had snapchat, all the Pride Month stuff might have scared the life out of me ? Try not to avoid it, but don't click on stuff just to test yourself. Use it as an exposure to help yourself habituate!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hi! I'd say firstly - I've been in the bottomless pit stage, but I promise you it does not last forever, and it's worth remembering there's a way out even when you feel like you're at your worst. To help you, I'd say do as much research on OCD and treatment as you can. Don't make it into a compulsion, just see it as a slightly boring homework that you need to achieve what you want (ie recovery). The more you know, the more equipped you are to fight it. If you can find a therapist, do it! If not, at least find somebody you can talk to honestly. I had my parents and a counsellor - they both helped me through the miserable times. Then, you can start on the exposures. Get yourself used to your triggers and allow yourself to let thoughts come and go. That will be insaneeeely hard at first, and it will make you anxious. But anxiety goes away as long as you do nothing to react to the scary thoughts. Don't fight them, don't think about them. They're just thoughts! They can't harm you if you don't get close to them. And slowly...the anxiety will decrease, and the obsession will start to fade. That is scary too - you might feel anxious about not being anxious about the thoughts any more! But then, you'll be on your way to recovery. Good luck ❤
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@RayLiVerified Basically as it's June there are a lot of sponsored stories about Gay Pride month, which can cause anxiety for people with HOCD! And also, as Love Island is on at the moment, there are probably also a few sponsored stories about that, with pictures of the guys and girls in not very much clothing... Again, potentially anxiety-inducing ?? OCD really is mad
- Date posted
- 5y ago
thank you so much? I’ll update you and I’ll try my hardest, I do agree about feeling anxious about not feeling anxious, I feel like if I start to feel better I’ll get a trigger and it’ll ruin all my work or I’ll feel weird not feeling scared. Thank you so much though?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thanks Spiral and fantastic advice again! You're right that advertising for Pride month is everywhere. Love Island seems to be everywhere too and even though I don't have HOCD, it's quite intrusive. I think I should just watch an episode so I won't think it's something it's not. Getting out of the bottom is great and for me, the best part is realizing that where I am now is much better than where I was. I think you don't realize the bottom until you're on the way up!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Great advice Spiral! I don't use Snapchat so what are the sponsored stories about that are triggering?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Pride month is a great time for exposures!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Spiral, what would you recommend in order to lead to the road to recovery? I’m stuck in a bottomless pit and in desperate need for advice, if you have any. I’m glad you’re getting better, I’m proud of you:)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
My intrusive images were an absolute nightmare back in April. I honestly don’t even know how it got better, I had written a letter to God begging for help. Well recently idk if it’s because I’ve been stressed a lot again and ruminating on a lot of pocd related things from the past the make me worry, but the images have started again and even though they are repulsive and awful, I feel like I’m not reacting how I should. I think I just got to where I would just try to like blink it away and ignore it, but I feel so bad if I’m not feeling absolute shame and guilt. I feel like I feel too normal and sometimes I forget that if anyone knew besides people on here, I can’t imagine what people would think, but I also know it’s not who I am so I feel like I don’t worry as much as I should. Also, I can’t stop worrying about fanfiction I read when I was like 16 and 17. It really bothers me because I keep wondering did I imagine this one character my age? Why did I read this? Did I even know what aging up was then, and even if I did it’s wrong and gross anyway but if I didn’t age this character up then that’s awful. And i just can’t let go but I think it’s triggering me to have the images so idk what to do.
- Date posted
- 16w ago
Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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