Worrying about what ifs

I feel like for as long as I can remember, my intrusive thoughts are in the form of questions. This morning, I couldn’t help but think “What do I want out of my life?””Do I want to be in a relationship with this person?””Am I making the right choices?” With every decision I make, I worry about other options, I feel like I am constantly worrying about what if this happens, what if I didn’t do that. I work with my therapist who encourages that I have issues with judgement. Because of this, I think I can never be 100% confident or assuring in myself or anything I do

Username: Lisa LeeLou Lisa LeeLou

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. Please try to keep in mind that OCD is the doubting disease and often attaches itself to the things that are most important to us. Usually engaging with the thoughts and addressing them actually ends up intensifying them instead. The more effective way is to let yourself have the thought without engaging with it. I know that is easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get easier. Be kind and patient with yourself.

Username: cwood1979cwood1979

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel this deep. I have major childhood trauma, cptsd, and ocd. It all causes a lot of self doubt and what ifs. You can do this. You are aware of your unwanted thoughts and can tell them to bug off! Hehe I wish you luck and hope you get some relief soon.

Username: Amber RAmber R

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Self doubt and uncertainty are uncomfortable, but they are a part of life! It’s not fun to leave “what ifs/but this!” thoughts unanswered or unexplored, but that’s the best way to handle OCD. A lot of times our brains try to protect us by getting to the bottom of things we’re worried about but we can’t always get to the bottom of them, some things we just can’t/won’t know. Take it day by day. And remember to be kind to yourself. You mentioned your therapist; do they specialize in the treatment of OCD?

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

This is definitely so hard, OCD is known as the doubting disorder. It inserts uncertainty and doubt into everything and anything. People with OCD tend to doubt their judgment- mistrust their thoughts. The good news is that there is treatment and that it is possible to live in recovery. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/there-will-always-be-one-more-what-if-with-ocd

Username: Matthew L.Matthew L.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. I definitely doubt what I say and do.

Username: Dme

Date posted: 4y ago

I’ve been ruminating non-stop over the last several months about whether I’m in the right relationship, so much so that I find myself evaluating every moment that I spend with my partner and how it “could” have been better. It’s challenging because the relationship does have a bunch of issues that need to be worked through, and my partner tends to be avoidant person (probably because she grew up in an overprotective environment combined with no previous experience with relationships). Having to coach her every step of the way feels overwhelming when I myself am struggling to bear the weight of my anxious/depressive thoughts. Our relationship started right about when COVID was picking up, which makes me wonder whether the relationship is the root cause of my anxiety, or if my anxiety is making me view my otherwise okay relationship negatively. Some days I feel like breaking up would make me feel much better, other days I feel like this may be as good as it gets. Doesn’t every relationship comes with its issues? What if I’m not going to be any happier off seeing someone else either? I also have a deep-rooted fear that if I give up on this relationship I will be left alone, unlovable, and miserable for the rest of my life. I tend to be super critical of myself for most things (and that has served me well on the career front) but I can’t help but wonder if I’m inadvertently being picky about my partner’s qualities. At this point, the conflict in my head is raging so hard that I don’t care about the outcome of my relationship – I just want to feel at peace with myself and secure in the decision I arrive at.

Username: MadiK

Date posted: 2y ago

Today

Yesterday was so good, I had my first session with my NOCD therapist. Then today comes and I’m in a whirlwind. Nothing feels real everything feels so fake. I have intrusive thoughts slipping into my head every second. They aren’t even what ifs they are now statements. The fact that they are statements rather than what ifs or questions make me feel like a horrible person. Instead of what if I don’t love my boyfriend. Or what if I don’t want to be with him. It’s I don’t want to. And I don’t. It’s causing a lot of anxiety. And then I think well is this bothering me enough? Do I feel scared enough? Does the thought of you leaving him bother you enough? What if it doesn’t? What if I do leave? What if what if what if. I feel crazy.

Relationship OCD

Username: ROCDmensch

Date posted: 46w ago

So many what ifs

My OCD kicks very hard this morning. But it's a different topic. A few days ago I had applied for a small job and talked to the people there. In 2 months I will start my modules to finish my studies for my degree. Now I'm in a constant loop thinking about whether I have the capacities to work while studying and it's driving me crazy. Once I think I settled on an opinion, it switches again...so many what ifs "what if you mess up and ruin your studies" "what if you disappoint at this new job or have to quit because it's too much" "what if you don't have the capacities to do both" etc. it all ends in a shamefull or very stressful, catastrophic scenario where I'm a bad person. On the other hand if I deny the job I'm scared I might regret it or it feels like just trying to escape the situation or responsibility

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Worrying about what ifs

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