The Confusion…

Lately the thoughts haven’t given me anxiety like they used too which is great right, I have moments of peace and freedom. But I’m having an issue where I focus on the amount of saliva in my mouth because I somehow make the connection that it correlates to if I like the thoughts or not. But even if I do worry about it I don’t feel the anxiety. I worry but like not as much? I don’t know if this is normal sometimes I just feel numb and I get scared that means im opening up to the idea of it. Even thought all I ever wanted for myself was to be kind, compassionate, loving. And bring light and joy to the world. But ocd twist my dreams and makes me feel like im a psycho narcissist, and a selfish negative person. I get scared that maybe I am those things or that maybe my ocd isn’t ocd. I’m just tired of this, I think that if I don’t have anxiety that, that means I want to cause harm or do something. The saliva in my mouth has been making me mad because no matter how many times I dry my mouth or drink water it comes back and maybe it’s just normal but I get scared that it means something especially since people say their mouth waters when seeing something delicious. I’m just scared idk. Anyone else go through a not feeling period?

Kilo2001

Date posted: 2y ago

I noticed when my brain gets really tired of thinking of the same thing I’ll stop getting anxiety for a couple days. I also notice this is around the time when I start to get depressed cause of the OCD. Like I was anxious and now I’m just numb and sad and then I get anxious again and it’s a cycle. Not sure if that is what you’re going through but yeah. I go through time of no anxiety but it always make it’s way back.

Jinglebells2353

Date posted: 2y ago

I was going through something similar earlier today, Don't worry too much, you're probably going through some emotional burnout/exhaustion, it happens, but it doesn't mean anything bad for now, just keep fighting!

AJH11

Date posted: 2y ago

I have the saliva thing omg I thought I was the only one

Secretidentity

Date posted: 22w ago

Does any one ever question if their ocd isn’t ocd?

That’s kinda my question. All my thoughts feel so realistic and so now I doubt if they are ocd and if I just can’t make my mind up about something and I’m using ocd as an excuse or something idc I feel like this post is word vomit.

Mika05

Date posted: 15w ago

Worried about not being anxious?

These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.

Pushingpissed

Date posted: 10w ago

Feeling “normal” again

Anyone else feel that when they aren’t experiencing a theme that their ocd is almost non existent. It almost makes me feel like I’ve been faking it, and also makes me feel ridiculous for obsessing over things. I feel sorry for myself :/ I know that my themes are valid and felt very real in the moment, but after I “get over” them I just can’t believe that I was obsessing over something that either wasn’t true or didn’t apply to me. I would also like to know how to prevent themes from reoccurring. Health, religion and existential OCD themes tend to take turns throughout my life, I just didn’t know that was it ocd. Trying to break the cycle.

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The Confusion…

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