OCD and bathroom

Hi everyone, I’ve been spending more and more time at the gym and with that means I’ve been spending more time disinfecting and washing my hands. There are certain numbers I try to “hit” when carrying out tasks like the number 4. When washing my hands I will pump the soap 4 times. But then I think about how the running water + paper towel used adds on +2 pts and so I end up at 6 but I don’t like the number 6. So to combat this I will do 4 steps of 4 actions because I don’t like numbers in relation to 3,6, or 9 ( bc of course washing, rinsing, drying 3 times would not be adequate in my mind). But I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll mess up a sequence of what I’m doing and then try to combat the compulsion I feel in the moment and try to forget the number of actions I’ve just carried out. In my mind doing something “♾️” times is better than knowing I for sure didn’t do enough. (In cases like these I equate ♾️ to an undefined/ unknown #). It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m wasting so many resources and a lot of my time too but I still struggle to stop until I feel like everything is fine again. I spray my sanitizer spray 4 times on a paper towel and tell myself that 4 sprays + 1 paper towel is okay because at least 4x1 =4 and 4+1 =5 but it really just drives me mad but because 4-1 =3 I have to combat that with wiping an adequate amount of times.

Tw: piss Is it just me or do other people have this? I first of all have a pretty small bladder so I already have to go more often. I also over hydrate because I cannot stand chapped lips/dry throat. But it's starting to be a really problem because I will go and then when I'm done I will suddenly think "what if I didn't get all of it out?" And then it will SERIOUSLY feel like I have to piss again. This happens ALL THE TIME I go like at least once an hour. Even if I just get the slightest feeling I have to piss I go immediately because I'm so paranoid I'm gonna piss myself. And I cannot stand the feeling of having to go even for a little bit. I'm starting to think maybe I'm manifesting the feeling of having to go. But that's crazy because it feels so real.

For the past several years of my life I’ve always overly washed my hands. It’s never been as bad as it has been the last few months. EVERYTHING.. and I mean everything is dirty to me. I can barely go out into public and when I do I immediately have to shower. I use mouthwash because I feel my mouth has so many germs, I wash my hands, I sanitize my belongings… and there’s a routine to it so that contamination doesn’t spread. I can barely do a lot of normal household tasks because I feel that a lot of things are contaminated. It’s even hard to spend time with my dogs. I need help. There’s so many embarrassing aspects of what I do, but to me there is logic behind it. It has caused so many fights with my husband, yet he is still as supportive as he can be, but I push so far sometimes. Any suggestions or help, things I can try?