- Date posted
- 2y
Help
Has anyone been stuck in one theme for over a year?I currently have been stuck in the same thought of losing my partner for over a year
Has anyone been stuck in one theme for over a year?I currently have been stuck in the same thought of losing my partner for over a year
Yes i did. I didn't know i had OCD back then. I haven't been diagnosed and i had this theme telling me "what if i'm gay?" for over a year. There were other themes but they were minor compared to this. I was sleeping with the thought of being gay and i was waking up with it. Then it evolved to another theme and the new theme stuck witm me for more than 6 months before i've finally been diagnosed with OCD.
100%. i had sexual orientation OCD for 2 years straight. every day was a constant battle with myself and i isolated myself from everyone, especially girls. i know how hard it is to be stuck on one theme and for it to not go away. the best help i can give is to sit with the discomfort and allow the thoughts to sit without judgment and to bring yourself back to the present moment. i know it’s easier said than done, but if i can do it, so can you! sending good energy and hugs.
The false memories make it hard
@KateWiley i understand. i have been through almost every theme and i know how hard it is.
@nataroonie Some of them were even proven false. I just want to stop believing them
@KateWiley the key is to stop trying to “prove” a thought is right or wrong. if it’s true or false. at the end of the day, a thought is a thought. it is non-existent. only in your mind where OCD likes to pick at every value you have.
@nataroonie I know that's the idea, but it's already proven wrong now. Only a few. The others I can't really prove wrong and I'm not even trying to. They just bother me that my mind won't let me just dismiss it. I mean the only time they had relevance in my life is is OCD came. I wanna let it go.
Yes. Hocd and false memory. It sucks
Yes for several years now 😞
It's terrible, honestly.
It really is. When I’ve had so much reassurance and know it’s not true but I still hang onto the fear. Just shows it’s true that reassurance does not work.
Exactly. It's either I don't believe it but it still feels true or I totally believe it and it still feels true.
@KateWiley Yup! A no win situation 🙄
@Angel20 Right, if I feel that it's false the feelings still don't go away, and if I feel that it's true the feelings don't go away, so you literally can't win for trying.
@KateWiley I know! It’s like a nightmare you can’t wake up from. I’m trying hard to just float with those feelings and hope that my brain will eventually stop seeing them as a threat. I think our brains have become confused/overwhelmed with all of the thinking and ruminating we’ve done and maybe need time to just reset. Problem is after “floating “ for a while I then fall back and start delving into the thoughts again. It’s like rinse/repeat 😞😞🙄
@Angel20 Floating for me always feels like not fighting the thoughts but still believing it. Like everytime I stop fighting its like it feels normal to be and I feel less and less towards my values
@KateWiley Wish we knew what the answer was.
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
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