My journey

How has everyone else's OCD progressed throughout their lives? Has everyone else always had severe OCD or did you live regular lives beforehand and encounter one point where it went from 0 to 100. Where are you now in your OCD Journey? I'm very curious as to everyone else's stories and have left mine below if you’d like to read it. From what I can remember, I went relatively undisturbed by OCD  the majority of my middle/late childhood, only having about 1-3 thoughts a year that weren't super bothersome but did create a level of distress uncomparable to regular intrusive thoughts. They were mainly about my health and about my parents safety & wellbeing. The earliest memory about my OCD that really stood out was back in 5th Grade, when I hit my head on a swing set and immediately began reciting every moment leading up to injury as well as every math equation I knew to make sure my memory was still intact. The greater part of my adolescence was essentially the same and resembled what I believed to be a normal life,  just with a couple of OCD thoughts sprinkled throughout it. I was able to function pretty well albeit depressed and somewhat anxious. It wasn't until I was close to my highschool graduation that I experienced the worst panic attack(at the time) at the idea that I would hurt my parents. It was so distressing because the thought felt so loud that I believed it was genuine which only caused more distress. I was so scared that I would act on the thought that I discarded all of my sharp objects and locked myself in my room. That was my first ever severe reaction I experienced due to OCD and was back in May of this year. I actually learned what OCD was the same night and realized that many of my newly found fears including mold growing in my walls  and my parents disliking me were also caused by the OCD. Unfortunately learning that it was probably OCD wasn't enough to quell my fear and I engaged in a bunch of compulsions in the months to come, worsening my OCD In the process. June was alright. July was worse(I only had like three topics for obsessions which sounds great now). Late July-Early August was my tipping point . Things went from worse to profoundly terrible in a short period. I found this app late August which was great because I had grown exhausted. September was pretty bad but not as bad as August. Now it's October and life is somewhat good now. I've become more knowledgeable of OCD (big thanks to this app and my therapist) but I'm very far from done. There's still this looming sense of anxiety that follows me everywhere. I have like 20 obsessions now, some being larger and scarier than others but those smaller ones are still apparent. But, the fear has decreased as well as the mental compulsions that came with it. My mind is quieter now. However the anxiety has stayed the same. My heart still drops whenever my worst obsession is triggered. Headaches, brain fog, sweating, rapid heart rate, sense of being paralyzed, racing mind are commonplace in my life but I've learned to sit with  the physical discomfort (not that it makes it any less terrifying). Anyways, I'm here now which is cool. I’d like to listen to others' experiences to get a better understanding of OCD and maybe feel a bit less alone. feel free to ask any questions.

I want to heart about your OCD story. Please use this comment section as a safe space where we can all share our struggles, and find those who relate to us. I’ll go first. When I was 13 years old, I went through one of the toughest years of my life. It was awful. My anxiety was on full and my depression followed wherever I went. I started to do compulsions then. Checking, double checking, triple checking. Whether it was an email, an essay I wrote, the lock, the hair straighter etc etc etc. I used to seek reassurance from someone, who is to this day my best friend. I was so embarrassed when I would do it, but I felt like I had to. I would cry myself to sleep. I didn’t know I had OCD. When I was 16 and learning about mental illnesses in class, I remember listening to a group presentation on OCD. From there, I knew what was wrong with me. My OCD died down when I was 14, yet I vividly remembered the struggle. At 18 years old, right after graduating high school (just recently), my OCD came back at full force. It seems like it accompanies my anxiety when it reaches a level beyond the scale. Every morning I wake up, and I’m scared to go about my day. Whether I’m reading, driving, painting, talking or anything, I’m constantly scared of what my OCD will do. I’m scared of my own brain. I hope we can all someday think of OCD as just a memory. Thank you. ❤️

Hello 👋 I'm new here and wanted to share my story. I'm 27 and struggle daily with OCD. I've had it for many years and got diagnosed 3 years ago. I have intrusive thoughts daily and constantly washing my hands because I feel contaminated. My hands are so sore they crack and bleed. When I get my food shop delivery I have to clean the kitchen floor where items have been and for days after I wash my hands after touching the food items because they are dirty to me. I wear PJ'S when I'm on my sofa but I have to change into different PJ'S when I get in bed, I cannot wear the same ones because I feel the sofa has germs on that I can't put in my bed. I clean my phone everyday when I get home from work because of the work germs. It's very rare if I use the toilets at work because of other colleagues using them. I get behind on jobs at work because I have to re read things a lot. I struggle very much leaving the house by myself. My last job I had to leave due to constantly being late because I had to check all the windows, doors, switches, cooker, ect. Luckily now my husband is at home when I leave for work. But times where I've had to leave by myself I've had panic attacks and cannot stop crying because I cannot leave the house. I think something bad will happen. I freeze at the door, I know I've locked it but the OCD bully in my head is saying I need to keep checking it until it feels right. And a lot of the time it never feels right. I have accidentally broken door/window handles because of checking them so many times. A few years ago I struggled that much to leave the house I had to film myself locking the door and I also wrote on paper "locked" "off" ect. Take a photo/video and send it to my husband who then stopped work to look and reply. A lot of the time it didn't help at all. At night I have to check everything is switched off and locked up, that can take a long time and a lot I ask my husband to do the checks either with me or by himself. This is so difficult. I have been having therapy for about 3 months, it's helped a little so that's something. Some days are ok and other days are horrible. I know I'm not alone but it does feel like that a lot. Thank you for reading :)